I Feel Kinda Ugly Compared To My Friend...?

Question

Ok so I'm an 20 year old female and I have a little 'esteem' problem, I guess. You see, my friend is very pretty and she gets all the guys, attention and everything and it makes me feel really bad. Even this one boy that I really liked turned me down for her...but she didn't like him anyhow. But anyway, I know it has to do with the way she looks. She mixed (black and white) and has the 'exotic' features and light skin or whatever and i'm black and I guess guys just find her more attractive because of that and they think my brown skin is...ugly? I don't know. I feel like I get put down when I'm with her, MY guy friends always ask about her and she gets told in the street by random people how beautiful she is all.the.time. It's like I'm not even there...It seems like she has everything going for her. She seems just so...interesting.. I just feel so bad all the time. I've tried to convince myself to get over it, but it's very difficult, you know? I feel very ugly...How can I stop feeling like this?..I need help.

Please don't leave any mean answers. I'm not trying to sound like I'm complaining or anything.

Answer 1

I had a friend like that. It seemed like all the guys were interested in her and neever even looked at me. She was pretty and skinny and whatnot, and I wore glasses and was overweight. It took me years to realize that 1. She was begging for attention and egging it on JUST to make me feel bad (be sure that your friend isn't doing that to you), and 2. I only felt better about myself when she wasn't around. distance may be the best thing for you in this case. Oh, and don't worry about those guys if they're going after her because of her looks. Looks will fade - you should see my friend now, did her looks ever fade! - and besides, they're superficial and stupid anyway. A worthwhile guy will be worth the wait :)

Answer 2

Hun, I can TOTALLY understand where you're coming from with this one. And It sucks, I feel your pain. Firstly, it has nothing to do with the color of your skin. Remember that and don't ever think it does. Second of all, you may have a BETTER personality than your friend. What someone has, not everyone's got, remember that. You have something she doesn't. How do you know she's not envious of you, because of something special about you? Don't bring yourself down, your probably prettier than she is! You shouldn't doubt yourself.

Thirdly, those guys who gawk, stare and come up to her because of the way she looks? That's all they'll want, then they'll dump her like a hot potato and move onto the next one.

Guys like that are just very superficial. All they care about is how a girl looks. What type of guys is she attracting mostly? It all depends on that too. I'm black and my best friend just happens to be mixed, too but I don't compare myself to her. (At one point I have to admit that I used to) But I realize that there are somethings that I've got that she doesn't and vise versa too. Plus, Not all guys have the same taste.

One guy may think she's hot but guess what? Another may think she's butt ugly! lol Don' let her feature or the color of her skin be a factor...Just be yourself. You are a BEAUTIFUL BLACK FEMALE. Be proud.

Answer 3

Your probably aren't ugly at all. You just need to stop comparing yourself to her even tho you think she might be more attractive than you. Just be yourself, that's really all any of us can do.

Answer 4

1) It's nothing to do with you being black, that is stupid.

2) Look at it like this - you're never going to be able to change any of your facial features so the longer you mope on them not being as nice as others, the longer you send out "don't come near me" vibes. It's true confidence does lure people in, if I saw a withdrawn shy guy out and a confident guy, laughing and having a good time I'd rather approach the confident guy. Start to like what you have as they'll always be someone prettier than you and unfortunately for you you're with someone who is but there's also always going to be people that are uglier than you. Besides not everything revolves around looks.

Answer 5

everyone is beautiful.. and i'm pretty sure, you have something really unique in you.  some people can see others' beauty and some people can't .  so hold on.