I Hate My Mom So Much! She Just Doesn't Understand Me?

Question

Ok.

Well, I have two younger brothers that are 7 (they're twins). I think my mom favors them! I mean, whenever they do something wrong and I'm near by, I always get the blame. Just now, I was making a dance routine for fun with my cousin, the twins and one of my neighbors. It was a partner dance and when the neighbor went home, one of the twins (Robert) didn't have a partner. He said he didn't want to make me his partner (Because I'm 13 and too tall). I said OK and then started doing the dance without him with the other twin (William) and my cousin (Alexa) and when we started practicing, he got so mad and told my mom after he slammed my bedroom door! She then gave me a lecture about "how I need to be mature and show some compassion" and she said I was acting like a brat because Will and Lexi were doing so well in the dance I didn't want to incorporate Rob. She started yelling at me, and when I tried to tell my side of the story she just continued on about how I'm such a brat and that I was an immature baby. I just can't stand her! And it's not just the favoritism, it's everything! We never get along. She hates the way I dress, the way I "talk" (???) and I just don't get it. Whenever I try and question her, she just snaps as me and threatens to pull me off the internet and take my cell phone.

She treats me like such a child! Why can't she just leave me alone!? I mean, even when I have to yell at Robert especially (like yesterday when I had to carry him to his room because he was kicking, screaming and insulting me) I get in HUGE trouble! My dad understands that it's not always my fault, but my mom just acts like whenever something bad happens she can blame the oldest kid!

It's gotten so bad that sometimes I think about cutting myself (but sometimes do) and I hate being home. I wish I could just run away or have my mom just disappear from my life.

Answer 1

Send her a copy of your question in her e-mail.

Talk to your dad and tell him he needs to talk to your mom.

THEY need to get on the same page.

For your dad to allow this to continue is wrong.Sounds like your mom has the "my baby is an angel and does no wrong" syndrome.

When she is bailing them out of jail before they are 18 she will know better.

Answer 2

I know how you feel

but dont wish that your mom would disapear if you were to lose her I bet you would be devastated just sit her down calmly and have a little talk or write her a note or maybe even have your dad talk to her....

.

Answer mine please:

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Answer 3

I am 15 and i have a 12 year old sister, and sometimes i feel the same way...i feel like I am always getting blamed for what my sister is really doing. But, I have noticed, that the older she gets, she is starting to get into trouble just as much as i am....and i am not getting blamed nearly as much for the things that she does. I think that moms think that since we are older we should include our younger brothers/sisters and since we are older that we should not fight with them...eventually moms figure out that your gonna fight one way or the other....it just takes them time....

And...

Dont let her get to you so much that you cut...it isnt worth it, because in the end it will only hurt you more.

try to talk to your mom, ask her if you and her can go somewhere by yourselves and see what happens

Answer 4

if you really want to shut your mother up, then all you have to do is basically ignore her. just block her out, dont get mad, dont get anything. just let her say her piece. she will be shocked when you just go with it and dont answer back. just ignore the pointless bickering with your brothers, dont get involved in it. she will eventually stop arguing with you when she sees it doesnt affect you.

this works well with my mother, she will say something that she knows will wind me up, and i just dont reply or anything, and we have harmony.

just leave her and your brothers alone, and the bitching will stop.

Answer 5

I agree with joe_flee you and your family should talk about what is going on with you, I mean my mommy is just like yours and I feel the same way about her. You shouldnt feel that way even though its normal you guys should really talk and try to get along with your younger brothers some way in order for your mom to see that your not the mean one. Take everything slow its all going to get better believe me,it always does. Moms have the tendency to blame the oldest in the house in order not to hurt the young ones feelings, Why do they do that? I dont know. I mean Im sort of used to it,Im sure she loves you and your brothers as well. My mom doesnt like the way I dress or wear my makeup either and I make her aware that I live for myself only, I dont want to go impressing anyone,Maybe you should do the same but in a nice way. My mom is so strict and mean so of course I understand how you feel, believe me. Im 16 and go through roller coaster rides with my mom its normal and its bound to happen, I know its hard but try to reconcile your differences, have talks here and there. At times as teenagers we tend to stress situations that can be solved fastly, just try to take what I have typed into consideration.When you start talking to her express what you mostly appreciate about her and then get into the parts that hurt you and by the end acknowledge that whatever your going through is only going to make you a stronger person in the long run. About cutting yourself please dont hurt yourself please that is not neccessary their are other ways to ease problems (Listen to music!!!). Many kids around the world wish they would have a mother who had corrected them, wine to them or just simply have been part of their lives. You have something special even though you dont realize it now. Think about the happy moments you guys have had. Your brother I believe felt a little ignored, he probably wanted you to make an effort to pay attention to him they love you,if they didnt they would never have been bothered. Your going through some similar feelings as I do its all going to be okay. If you need anything or clarifications on anything you can email me anytime okay. Alright hope I was able to help.

Answer 6

Talk to your dad and try to enlist his help.

Stop the cutting, when you want to do it again, call a Youth Help line.

No matter what, don't rise to your mother's bait: don't talk back. (Deal with her as little as possible. When she wrongly accuses you, very quietly suggest there's another side, but don't push it, as that seems to make her madder.)

What would be best would be family counseling; bring this up when you talk to your father. Also ask him what, if anything, he thinks you could do to improve things.

Remember, you don't have to live with her forever. In the meantime, se if your dad can't help, and if he can talk your mom into family therapy. It would be better for the whole family.

Answer 7

First of all nothing is worth hurting yourself for.  Cutting yourself is not the answer.  It may be hard, but you need to try and have a talk with your mother when the twins are not around.  Tell her that you need to have a private, serious talk with her alone.  Tell her exactly what you just told the world on "Answers".  Ask her if you could just tell her what is on your chest first before she comments.  Now, here is the key; you have to approach her in a mature manner. Try not to have an attitude or anything.  You have to realize that this is your mother.  She gave birth to you and whether you realize it or not she loves you very much.  It also sounds like she has her hands full with twins and a 13yr old.  Sometimes adults don't always make the best decisions or they may jump to conclusions sometimes when they are frustrated.  Just remember you are important and your life is worth everything!