I Have A Problem And I Really Need Some Help?

Question

I am 19 years old and I finished my first year of college but that didn't go well at all now I Feel like a failure in my family I have so much on my plate right now and my grandmother had a light stroke now she is in the nursing home she is alright now my brother he is smoking and basically just doing whatever he wants to do and he is always yelling at me basically I feel like everything that has happened was my fault and I feel like I am a burden on my mother. I don't know what to do please help me.

Answer 1

thats very bad..!!! No child is a burden on their parents. dont ever think that. if ur feeling very mush low speak abt it to ur best friend or if u speak to ur mother itself tell her what u r feeling now a days. dont think every thing is happening is bec of u it had to happen so its happening u cant change or stop it but u can try to slove it how much u can dont make these things affect ur studies bec if u have good education n carrer u r respected more. n in ur brothers case dont mess with him he will only feel why aren't u speaking with u n he will come on his own n speak to u. if he is yelling at u just hear it n then forget what he said.. n i hope ur grand ma become well soon.. All the best.. May God bless you..!!!

Answer 2

First, stop putting yourself down!

Second, I hope you are going back to college

If you don't, you will have a lifetime of troubles and you will be a burden.

The first year is always the hardest because you  have to take the basic courses (bio, eng, math, etc.)

After the 1st yr. you begin to choose what courses you want and that will lead to your future. Sounds like you have an older brother. Tell him to back off.

Stay cool and get back to school!

Make your Mother Proud!

Answer 3

Oh firstly hunny all i could actually see in what you wrote is how much your blaming yourself for everything. You need to stop this or your never going to feel helped. You need to begin helping yourself before anything can change. Firstly hun sh*t happenes seriously if it didnt go well in college you actually have the reast of your life to start again and do somthing with yourself, your 19! Same as me, i didnt do that well but im fixing myself up and now im doing what I really enjoy and want to do. You cant blame yourself for your brothers actions, he decideds himself what he wants to do, he leads his own life, you dont lead his, but what you need to do is start leading your own now. Your not a burden on your mother but i can garentee if you pick yourself up she'll be happy seeing your ok. At the end of the day shes your mother, college isnt going to make her stop loving you. You just need to sort your head about abit hun and then sort out where you want to go in your life, and personally i would say choose to do somthing you actually enjoy. =] if you need to talk email me.

Answer 4

just  tell  them

Answer 5

Whow slow down fella!  The first year of college is a s***w up for a lot of people for various reason, but none of what you just stated.  First of all see your guidance counselour for help in picking classes.  Do not take more than 2 introduction classes, because intro classes require a lot of reading.  Then take 1 or 2 required classes towards your degree and make the rest easy like acting or something brainless but you get credits for it.  Sorry about your grandma I know that is hard, but not your fault.  Your brother is a jerk and whoever put the idea that you are to blame is not a very nice person, even if its your mom - sorry!  

Answer 6

My first year of college I failed in 4 subjects. Now I am an engineer with a masters in Business Administration. Hope it will give you some hope. And your grandma getting sick and your brother smoking is not your fault.

Answer 7

1. You are hanging Yoke around your neck! I am not sure why you think its your fault, but seems like you are surrounded by some negetive environment. First its not your fault you grandmum is sick. all you can do is pray for her, she is old and has almost done what her purpose on earth is.

Your brother smoking is not your fault unless you put the stick in his mouth and lite it for him. Advise him and pray for him

Now what your priority is now is your education, so i will say channel the energy into somthing more productive, instead of been worried, be self sustaining or independent, find a part time job that does not require labor, like security or call center and do it whillst you go to school, you wouldnt be able to depend so much on your mother and you will feel great!  God be with you!

Answer 8

These things are not your fault.  You didn't make your brother smoke or start acting unruly nor did you bring the stroke to your grandmother.  You just need to get yourself together and start doing what you need to do and not add anymore stress to your mom.  

Answer 9

College isn't for everyone, but quitting doesn't mean you cannot get an education.  Maybe you would be more interested in a trade school or vocational school.  Maybe you would do better and have an easier time of it with a program that requires you to take only the classes that pertain to getting a degree or certificate in that subject.

My sister-in-law went to a culinary school because she wanted to be a pastry chef.  She didn't want to take classes that had nothing to do with cooking, so she went this route.

My brother wanted to a fire fighter and he went to school just for that.  He started off as an EMT and went from there to fire school with Toyota and got on their fire brigade and from there went on to the Lexington Fire Department and then on to become a paramedic.  He has since received swift water rescue training through the fire department and can do several different things at the department.

You're not a failure unless you simply give up in getting an education.  You don't have to go to college to get an education.  Just don't give up.  Figure out what you want to do and take the shortest route to get there.

Answer 10

well mate ill say join the army and show them how much of a man you are they will make em happy!  

Answer 11

I think you should take a deep breath and not think that it is your job to please everyone and take on the world and that everything is your fault.  Because that isn't true.  

If your first year at college didn't go so well,  figure out why and change things if you can.  

Try not to worry about your grandma, many people recover well from strokes,  you said that she is alright and she is being taken care of in a nursing home,  so trust that she is in good hands.  

About your brother,  if he wants to make unhealthy choices for his life,  that is his choice,  you are not responsible for him.  Why is he yelling at you?  Say what you have to say in a loving way to him and avoid getting into arguments with him.  

If you feel you are a burden to your mom,  why is that?   If you are able to change things then do so.   I am a mom and love my sons dearly,  they have made mistakes,  some big ones,  but you know I still love them,  and never consider them a burden.    I am sure your mom loves you,  if you feel you have let your mom down,  then talk to her.  I am sure she will understand that we all make mistakes in life.  And if there is anything to forgive you for then she will.  But maybe you are just blowing things out of proportion.  

Life can be stressful,  college can be too,  but it ought to be an exciting time too,  a time to enjoy yourself and not take life too seriously.   Try and focus on some good things.  If you feel you need to talk to someone,   what about a counsellor at your college.

I don't want to sound condescending or minimize your concerns,  but trust me,  things work out,  they really do,  you are young and just starting out and somehow you are going to make it and do well.  

Alot of it is to do with attitude,  you know?  Change your thinking a little bit,  be confident and do things you enjoy.  If you hate what you are doing in college then change directions,  change courses.  If you need to make apologies then do so,  if you need to mend relationships,  then do your best to do so.   If you need money,  then find legal ways to make it.  Ask for help,  if need be.  

I wish you a brighter and happier future.  Good luck

Answer 12

sounds harsh, sleep as much as you can, itll relieve your stress, and also let time pass by,.... make sure you sleep where family members wont bother you, and just do your best.

Answer 13

Why would it be your fault? If you think college isn't for you then take a break and work for a year or two. With today's economy you will probably have to go back to college or to a trade school at some point but you don't have to do it right now.

It sounds to me like you have a lot of stress you are dealing with and its making you depressed. Talk to your mom. Ask her if you are burden to her. I bet she doesn't consider you a burden at all. If she says it is making it very hard to take care of you, there are things you can do to become more financially independent. If she says no, ask her if there is anything you can help her with to help her out.