I Have A Problem With My Therapist.

Question

Okay, so, I have a little problem with my new therapist. Well, maybe its not a "little" problem.

I have only been to three sessions with her so far, and we have discussed a variety of topics. Last week, I was telling her about how I want to do my summer homework project on body modification.

She explained to me that by talking about this, even if someone if uncomfortable with it (such as herself), I feel powerful, and I am in control. I simply told her that I do not have a desire to be in power, but I understood where she was coming from.

Along with her telling me that she was "uncomfortable" with body modifications and the like, she gave me a hypothetical situation to see how I would react to it. (I'm not sure WHY she did this exactly.)

The "scenario" she came up with was based around me being (hypothetically) homosexual, and her being a homophobic person.

After we discussed what I would do if that was the case, she told me that she was, in fact, homophobic. This angered me and made me think less of her. She also told me that she is a very religious person.

Of course, she didn't know that I am L*****n, and Agnostic, but I was still upset about it.

I felt EXTREMELY nervous and anxious around her, and I don't think I can talk to her in my sessions.

I have an appointment with her tomorrow, and I have no idea what to do. I'm not sure if I should tell her I'm L*****n or not, or if I should ask her if she was being completely serious. If I don't say something, I'm probably not going to talk to her. Ever.

What are your thoughts on this? What should I do?

Answer 1

Tell her what you just told us.  She is a therpist and should know how to deal with this.  If she repondings in a negative way leave and find a new therpist

Answer 2

You have identified reasons to be referrred to a different therapist.  This can and likely already has, affected your working relationship.  It's fine to change counselors, and important to do so for your health, and for her to maintain professional and ethical standards which are required for certification or licensure.

It's time for you to get a counselor you can work with.  You'll disagree with lots of therapists surely, as issues are dealt with, but if you feel threatened in therapy, there's little value in it.  Move on.  

Answer 3

I am a therapist and the most important part of treatment with my clients is trust and a good therapeutic relationship. While your therapist is certainly entitled to have her own opinions and feelings about any issues, her approach of telling you she does not like homosexuality was wrong and makes me think that she is probably not very experienced. I think it's important you tell her how your perceptions of her have changed. Feel free to change therapists because in the end, this is your time, money, and treatment. You deserve to be treated by someone who makes you feel comfortable and safe. If she tries to persuade you to continue therapy with  her, just say goodbye.  

Answer 4

Well, first tell her how you feel about what she said. If things don't work out try another therapist. You won't be able to talk around her if she's uncomfortable with you and you with her.  

Answer 5

You need to find a new therapist.  You can explain it to her, and she'll have to refer you to someone who doesn't have the same beliefs as her, or you can find someone new on your own.  If you can't trust your therapist, you won't be able to really get anything accomplished in your sessions and its just a waste of time.  

Answer 6

I think she has just as many problems as you!!! Maybe even more as she is in such a place of trust!

Whether she is religious or not, she shouldn't be homophobic (God isn't!)..and to tell you such is mortifying...I believe you have every right to find another. Don't let one brush with a dangerous professional taint the rest of the profession for you, but I would go with my instincts and don't go back, although she needs to know she needs a good supervisor to deal with her own undealt with issues.

She can't help others if she can't work on herself.

Mel

Answer 7

I don't think you will accomplish much with this therapist. Maybe you should find a different one.