I Have a Crush on My Best Friend's Boyfriend. Help!?

Question

I met this guy two years ago and I had a crush on him when I met him. However, when we were all at the mall a little over a year ago, I introduced my best friend to him. A month or so later, they began dating.

Their relationship is filled with so much drama. My friend usually gets aggravated with him over the smallest things even when he tries to be light-hearted. She keeps saying she doesn't want to go out with him because she likes this other guy who, also, has mutual feelings towards her. She says that everything her current boyfriend does just annoys her.

They really aren't compatible, but both of them are still my friends so I always try to be supportive.

The problem is that I can't stop crushing on her boyfriend. We share similar interests - music, groups, movies, hobbies, etc. This is the second one of my friend's he has gone out with. My other friend that he dated was on a school trip and they began going out...I introduced them to each other, too. When they broke up, then he started going out with my best friend.

I need to learn to keep my mouth shut. I would prefer that my friend's be happy rather than me. I could care less if I'm the most miserable person in the world. As long as my friends and family are happy, I don't care. Most people would never know when I feel bad or when I'm jealous as h**l over something. I conceal my feelings very well - everyone I've ever crushed on never would suspect.

Point being, what should I do? I'm 18 and never had a boyfriend. I'm the type of girl who IS one of the guys. I hang out with guys but never date. I'm not a girly-girl, but I take pride in my appearence.

If I was giving this advice to someone else, I'd say that they'd have to choose between probably a short-term relationship or their friendship. If it wasn't for the fact that my best friend no longer likes her boyfriend, I wouldn't be having this problem!

I need some advice and fast.

Answer 1

If your best friend and your crush are incompatible, then why don't they break up? Well, if I were you, i'd wait till they break up then tell your crush how you feel after wards. Because if your crush is not breaking up with someone who bothers him and who just happens to be your best friend, he could be trying to get you jealous.. you just never know. For now, I guess you can try to support them both if that's what makes your best friend happy. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

If she acts like an intolerable spoiled rotten histrionic drama queen, and he puts up with it and sticks around, you need to steer clear of both. She is immature, and so is he--and worse, he's probably only putting up with because he is getting/hopes to get sumthin sumthin.

Move on to something new. Learn your lesson and proceed with life.

Answer 3

Either way, you have to wait till she dumps him, and moves on. Then he's game again... but thats still rocky area cause it could cause drama, best just to move on and forget about him and their relationship.  

Answer 4

What I would do is ask him what he wants to do.  Dont immediatley tell him you have a crush on him because it is not garunteed the feeling is mutual with him.  Ask your freind what SHE wants to do with him also.

A man is not worth losing your best friend over because when that man is out the door you also have a best friend that walked out on you too.  You are 18, there will be PLENTY of hot guys that will be in the wings...trust me..it took me 13 years to be with my friend and now boyfriend too.  

I would just ask him and be really good friends with him.  I know the urge is there but you have to keep it cool.

Answer 5

Whether or not your best friend still likes her boyfriend should not matter. If they're going to break up, let it happen for their reasons. You do not want to be part of the cause for the break-up, especially if you later find out that he's not interested in you that way. Then you not only lose a friend, but you don't get the guy either. Hold off. If and when they break up, still wait a bit, and then see what happens. Friendship is way more important. Take it from me, I lost my best friend because I started messing around with the guy she was dating. It so wasn't worth it in the end.

Answer 6

Don't even go there... the worst thing you could do is come between them.  They will self-destruct soon enough.  

Get as far away from this guy as you can.  

Answer 7

Look, it's your BEST FRIEND'S BOYFRIEND, not yours.....if you would like to keep that friendship..leave the crush at just that....nice to look at, off limits for the touchin'!!!!

Answer 8

Boyfriends come and go, but best friends last a long time.  Start looking for another crush.  This direction is headed for disaster.

Answer 9

You're wasting time girl.  

Answer 10

OMG your going to h**l......just kiddding!! its too long to read however its not that bad, ull get over it :)!

Answer 11

if you really like your friend, and are a good friend,

You would easily forget aboout it..

Never give up your best friend for a bf.

Answer 12

Choose my friend .... peace

Answer 13

just wait, sounds like it'll be short lived, and then you all can go back to how things were, and eventually when your comfortable enough, you can tell him.  

Answer 14

Either give your bff some "guidance" to move her along from the guy you are crushing on to the other dude she is digging, or else just be patient. It sounds like it is only a matter of time. You sound like a good friend, but you can't learn to love others truthfully until you learn to love yourself. Be good to yourself. Guys aren't going to notice you if you are a wall flower. Make some noise.

Answer 15

DO NOT take ur best friend's man away thats the hardest and biggest pain a girl could go through if her BF steals her man THAT hurts..i've been trought that and that s**+* hurts like h**l and now we dont talk..dont let a guy ruin ur relationship with u BF it aint worth it TRUST ME! remember Karma's a ****** and whatver u do will bite u back in the ***..so watch out!

Answer 16

I think if he was interested in you he would have gone out with you he most likly just sees you as one of his guy friends. so meet someone else so you will stop crushing over him, you wont be with him might as well

Answer 17

wait until ur friend dumps her bf, (seems like she's not interested in him anyways) then tell the guy that u have feelings for him and that you guys should hang out sometime.  

Answer 18

It sounds like they're going to break up soon anyway.  Wait for that to happen then make your move on him. If they're split up then your friend should have no reason to be mad at you for pursung him.