I Need RELATIONSHIP ADVICE!!!?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for 6 years... and we really love each other, but things have been a little dull lately. I'm not talking about physically/sexually... physically we are both still very attracted to each other... but we feel like maybe we've gotten too comfortable.

He told me the other day that he loves me and wants to be with me and no one else....but he's not happy... he feels like things have gotten too routine and he's bored, at first I was upset and defensive, b/c I personally have been pretty happy but then I realized he's right... maybe we have gotten into a dull "old married couple routine." He used to go away to school and it was sooo exciting seeing him on weekends...so I was thinking maybe taking some space or not seeing eachother so much would work...so that when I see him I'll be even more excited...but i'd rather not do that..i'd miss him too much (or maybe that would be the point..)

...but before you say that we need to break up....neither of us want to go our separate ways, we don't want to date anyone else (I asked him...and he said absolutely not and he wants to find a way to make this relationship work, so I told him I'd brainstorm ways to spice things up...which is why i'm asking for advice...)

Basically I guess we feel like we are kinda stuck in a long inbetween stage in our relationship (It's NOT new and exciting...but we're also NOT ready to take it to the next level & get married)... Any ideas or suggestions on how to spice things up and get the love stronger and excitement back??

Answer 1

Go on date night once a week.

Do something fun and exciting.

Take chances.

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Answer 2

i say if you really love each other that much   just go out and buy some really nice thongs and bras and when hes in the room one night go in and surprise him and make out or do it what ever y'all like that will really spice up the relationship have some real crazy s*x.

~Sierra

Answer 3

okay i got a good solution.... spice it up by maybe a 3some or u guys just get married.

Answer 4

This is complicated! Erm... You could maby go to a fun fair or see a movie something so that you'll have something to talk about a while. If after that it's still the same then just tell him how you feel see what he suggests.  

Answer 5

Ask yourself this:  is he the one you see yourself with for the rest of your life?   are you happy with him?  if this just until you find the right one?  are you just bored or is the a preview of what is to come?  

You will know then what to do.

Answer 6

Hm, well. The most helpful thing I can think of is to go on a date that you haven't been on before. Go for a road trip, skydiving, ice cream... something you'll have to talk about and have fun together. I'm not exactly sure if you two have been doing such, but I can imagine that after 6 years you've gone on almost every date imaginable. :P

I wish I could help more, I really do. I'm going through something similar, and it is tough.

Good luck. :)

Answer 7

Laura Berman, Ph.D., nationally recognized s*x educator and therapist, says that it's not unusual for couples to find that passion fades over the first year or so. Settling into the routine of everyday life may also mean settling for the routine in your romantic life.

"After that initial excitement fades, it's easy to get stuck in a rut and to put your romantic life on the back burner," Berman says. "The reality of everyday life, work, dirty clothes, housework and other obligations tends to overshadow that first, very powerful sexual attraction."

This doesn't mean that you love your partner any less; this is merely a stage in the relationship when you have to realize that romance is something you need to work on. Those who do so successfully have successful marriages; those who don't are miserable.

Melissa Hamilton, managing editor for RomanceEverAfter.com, says that "forgetting about each other" can happen, but with a little thought, romance is something that can be incorporated into your everyday life. "Romance should be a way of life, not a moment," she says. "When a couple embraces a romantic philosophy on the many levels of their marriage, life tastes sweeter. When each notices the small things, romance exists. When each considers the other first, romance exists. When each listens and each shares, romance exists. When romance is part of your marriage like breathing, the years together through the tough and tame times are so much better."

This is good advice whether you've been married two years or 22, but Hamilton also notes that it's better to start early in the marriage and make it a habit. "I would offer a word of advice for newly married couples," she says. "Incorporate romantic principles when your marriage begins. Know that the romance in a marriage changes as each year passes. Yet, if nurtured by both parties, the romance, the relationship, will deepen and become as a precious jewel."

Hamilton notes that the principles for keeping the magic or spark in a relationship are a combination of the physical and emotional or spiritual. Although this may sound like an old-fashioned idea, the physical perspective is to maintain a neat appearance. Often, women and men let themselves "go" the more comfortable they get in a relationship. It's difficult to feel particularly romantic toward someone with messy hair and torn sweats. Hamilton calls it "getting so comfortable that you slide into sloppy."

However, Hamilton also notes that romance includes a mental and spiritual connection with your mate. This doesn't necessarily mean religious, but a shared interest in each other's work, solving problems together and delving into spiritual or emotional issues. Building this type of emotional intimacy solders the marital connection.