I Need some advice on a relationship!?

Question

I broke up with my girlfriend 4 months ago after a 4 year relationship. I am 23 and she was 21, it was both our first serious relationship and for her I was her first sexual partner. We got on so well together we never argued and she was my best friend and soul mate. During the first year of the relationship she moved away to London to start university while I was still at university in Scotland during that period I fell more in love with her, Then she decided London wasn’t right for her as she missed me to much and moved back to Scotland to study. It was then we decided to move into a flat together as we were so in love.

After about a year and a half living together everything was perfect I couldn’t have been any happier. We got on so well and living together just seemed so right. It was then I got in a comfort zone and started to take the relationship for granted as I thought we would never break up and over a 4 – 6 month period she thought I didn’t love her as much and then she finally decided to break up with me.

Since the split we have both moved into flat shares she decided she wanted to remain as friends and we stayed in contact with each other meeting up every week and talking on the phone it was going really well and when we met up we had such nice times together. During this time she was seeing another guy but has now split and is single. ( I guess he was the rebound).

After 4 months of showing her how much I care and love her the friends thing never worked out as she wasn’t ready to make a decision on going back out and I couldn’t just hang around for the rest of my life waiting for her to make her mind up so last week we decided to have no contact with each other the first time since we split up.

I miss her so much and just want her to give our relationship another chance. Will this no contact make her realise her true feelings for me? I need some advice on what to do now?

Answer 1

It's the worst cliche in the book, but i promise- 'time really does heal a broken heart'.  Easy to say but take each day at a time and it really will get easier.  Keep your chin up, you'll eventually move on and then you'll wonder what all the heartbreak was for.  Good luck!

Answer 2

Call her up, see if she's still single, let her know how you feel and that you want to try again.  If you really love her and want to live with her all that much, maybe you should try proposing?  If you're married, maybe she won't be so quick to break up with you next time.  Most girls want a relationship that they feel is going some place.  If it's so comfortable with her, why not get married.  She might feel that you are more committed that way and not get scared if she feels you are paying her less attention.

Answer 3

I was in the same position as you, but I was the like your girlfriend in the situation. I did the same thing, tried to remain friends with my ex because we had spent a major part of out lives together as a couple, and I knew him better than anyone. However, as I began to live my life as an independent person,not as one half of a couple, I began to feel less like I needed to keep in contact with him. It seems to me like your ex has moved on,and rather than this non contact period being something that will make her think about how much she misses you and the relationship, is in fact the next step to completely moving on from one another.

I'm sorry if this isn't what you want to hear, and I could be very wrong, but as you said before, you can't spend your life waiting around for her possibly to get back with you. Since you are still on good terms, I would suggest you ask her outright if there is any chance of a reconciliation. If she says no, then obviously you will know where you stand. If she umms and ahhs, then I would also say just forget about it and start building your life without her. This non contact will probably help you start to get over her, as this is really difficult to do when you are still in regular contact.

Good luck and I hope you find happiness :) xx

Answer 4

please move on you are making this so much harder for yourself, you can`t be friends when you love her and its not returned. i know everyone says it but time really does heal and the sooner you move on the sooner you will start healing.

Answer 5

do you actually expect someone to read all that?

Answer 6

I agree with Ruby T it is time to start grieving and let go.  I wish you serenity

Answer 7

Only time will tell.  Write and tell her how you feel.

And take no-one for granted again.

Answer 8

my heart really goes out to you, u sound like ur broken. maybe you should really fight for her, u have to really show her that u want her and that ur right for each other. go all out in trying to get her back and remind her y ye fell in love in the first place. something like creating certain situations that will remind her of special memories ye share.

u sound like a lovely lad and deserve a 2nd chance.

Good Luck

^I read it cause it sounds like my relationship!

^

^

Answer 9

yes, I think so....I think she'll start missing you more and more. you just need to respect her and not take her for granted again. tell her you made a mistake for acting the way you did. tell her what you just told us about how you love her more and more each day. do a sweet gesture for her and have a sit down. open up to her and ask her to do the same. that way you guys can just get everything out and be on the same page. and workout your situtation. thats the best way to find out if you guys should really get back together. and make as your final attempt. but really talk with her.  do something that you know she would just love, letting her know that you serious about getting back together....and you shouldnt have to wait. if i was you i would try and see. and if things dont go the way you wantede then cut all ties...i know itll be very hard. but things like that do happen. youll eventually get passed it, and find someone else. who you really are meant to be with. cause if things dont work out with you two. shes obviously not the one anymore. I hope things work out for you, and i hope your life continues to be a happy one. hope i helped.  

Answer 10

the way i feel about this is that to make her see why she feel in love with you in the first place try to win her heart back have more comunication with herdon't let her out of your heart always talk to her. It seem to me like you guys don't have a lot of comunication talk more let her know that you didn't fall out of love with her by being romentic and showing her why she love you and feel in love with you in the first place.