I REALLY hate my dad? I really need help ?

Question

My dad has turned into a person I seriously hate. He shouts at me constantly, and doesn't seem to love me anymore. Plus the fact, he gets drunk every friday or so and embarasses me and my mom, by acting like a terror and sometimes being aggressive and acting an idiot. Like, today he picks me up for gymnastics. And I say one more run, and he just leaves. Then I go outside the gym and he's talking on the phone for work.(which he does constantly). He's having this long conversation and I'm like "Dad, come on " "You have me waiting, your loud, get in the car." Then he tells his colleague "Hey love you, girlfriend." And gets in the car. As soon as he gets in, he shouts at me and then snatches my phone out of my hand. And starts screaming at me about how I'm disrespectful. Things like this happen everyday. My dad always criticizes me about my looks, my attitude, and never has said "I love you" for ages. Really, I'm seriously scared to even talk to him, beause he gets physcially really mad. Lately, I keep away from him at home. As soon as I hear the garage door when he gets home, I run up to my room and close the door. I can't even eat dinner with him without being scared. The problem is I still need him to drive me home from gymnastics. Should I apologize and try to avoid him. What do I do?

Answer 1

Talk it over with your mom. It sounds like your dad is super stressed out. Maybe your mom can get him to talk to her.  

Answer 2

i have a similar problem.

if you figure it out let me know.

try to dispose of any alcohol you can get your hands on very secretly so that he wont know it was you and that will be something that can delay his anger for a short period of time.

Answer 3

So you don´t need a dad. Just a ride home from gym.

Ok tell him you love him, shut up and don´t be disrespectfull !!

Answer 4

Your obviously leaving stuff out, like what you do to make him mad at you, your just adding what he is doing wrong, take a moment before you do things and think "If I was my father, and my daughter did this, how would I react?". Then again if he's abusive then you could turn him in, if he is just sometimes mean then thats life, today adults are always stressed out, don't take most of what he says seriously, he could be having a tough time in life and needs comfort but when he gets home there is no one there to says "Hey dad!", hug him, kiss him, say I love you, then he will be feeling bad for treating you this way.  

Answer 5

Well you did ask him to wait while you went for one more run.  So if he is on the phone when you came out to him - then you should not be mad at him.  If he was loud - Just wait in the car or walk away...  If he feels comfortable conducting business in public - you dont have to be part of it.  As far as saying - I Love You.... YOU CAN SAY IT FIRST - There is no rule for saying it... Sometimes the best lessons learned are hte ones we learn from our kids.  Life is short my dear - It gets shorter EVERYDAY!  I wish you and your Dad happiness and hope that this was helpful.  ***IF YOU ARE EVER THAT AFRAID... TAKE IT FROM ME... JUST LEAVE THE HOUSE... GO TO A FRIENDS or NEIGHBORS....  

Answer 6

If you know your father is like he is, why didn't you just leave when he got their?  Was his getting angry worth one more run?

You didn't say that he physically abused you, you just said that he embarrasses you and shouts at you.  A lot of parents shout or yell at their children when the children misbehave or is not hurrying up.   That is not child abuse.   Now if he were hitting you, that would be child abuse.

I don't know what your problem is.  Your father gets drunk one night a week, OK he should not do that.  A person can have a few drinks without getting drunk.  I am scared of alcohol and do not use it because of what it does to a person and others.

But I still can't see in your question why you are scared of him.  If you are scared of him dial 9ll and the police will come to your home immediately and arrest him.

Good luck!      

Answer 7

wow,

let me just take this in.....

is gym long from ur home?

u cant walk,

or get a ride from ur friend or anything,

and talk to ur mom about him (NOT UR DAD DONT DO THAT!)

talk to ur mom see what she says, be tell her whats be going on,

tell like ur gym coach (Not about the phisical tho)

she want shes says,

if u wanna talk to him about it,

talk about it at like dinner time with ur mom so he cant do anything.

good luck babe!  

Answer 8

have you told your mom and asked her for her opinion? well anyway here's what i think: try finding a ride and get away from him because he could get worse and start hitting you or throwing you out of the car as it's moving or something. and if u do keep driving around w/ him carry mace just in  case.

Answer 9

You sound like your in a bad situation, I really think you need to go and talk to someone about this.  What is your mom doing about this?  Is he an alcoholic?  This isn't something you can fix on yahoo answers, you should speak to a counselor at school if your mom won't help. Your dad sounds like there is definitely something wrong with him, but you cant change him, your mother needs to take the steps to make things better for you but you can help yourself by speaking to a professional.

Answer 10

how old are you?

Answer 11

Is it possible that your dad is drinking more than you know and it's taking a toll on you? Talk to your mother about his drinking, he needs help with that and the anger issues. He's probably getting angry because he hasn't had a drink. Classic signs of Alcoholism.

See if you can ask a friend or someone in your gymnastics class can drive you home, that way  he doesn't have to come and pick you up.

Answer 12

I think you should def. try talking to him, maybe he's under stress. But one thing I know for sure is that you have to talk to him. Be like "Dad, it dosent seem like we get along anymore.." stuff like that. good luck <3

Answer 13

I dont think talking it out with dad is the best solution at this point. it may be the final straw and he will lash or strike out at you, and no one wants that. instead try talking with your mother and/or siblings. tell your mother how you feel, and ask for her advice. be prepared for her to get fed up an possibly call in a divorce. as for the gymnastics, do try to ask a friend to do it instead. you can tell your dad "hey, I know your busy alot so my friend X said they could give me a ride home instead. that ok?"

good luck, and please, dont keep your feelings inside

Answer 14

Sounds like your Dad is an alcoholic, but know his behavior has nothing to do with you or whether he loves you. (cause he does) You need to talk to someone.  If your Mom isn't willing, try going to Al-Anon/Alateen.

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/

Answer 15

he sounds like an alchoholic and scary can you ask your mom for help?maybe if she has a heart to heart with him and tells him you are afraid of him and if dosent stop freakin out all the time she will leave him he would quit bullying you both my dad was mean too he did get better with age if he gets REALLY mad  and your afraid he might hit you work up some tears  ASAP and sit on the floor people useully wont hit someone who is on the floor crying

Answer 16

go to counincling.

Answer 17

Walk home with friends

Answer 18

talk to ur mom about it....avoid him....get someone to drive u home from gymnastics if possible....and if he said girlfriend maybe hes having an affair

Answer 19

I'm really sorry your dad is like that.  I think you or your mom should tell someone before it gets worse, which it could.  Though if he hasn't hit you--I don't know if he has or not--I don't know if you can do anything about it.  I've never been and that situation so I don't know what it's like, but you or your mom need to stop this.  Tell someone or just leave, you can't just let it keep happening.

Answer 20

Is your mother in the picture? She should intervene for you and she should def not allow him to treat you so poorly. Is there a classmate you can ride with at gymnastics? Or can you take the bus? If you can't talk to your mother or another responsible adult family member such as an aunt or uncle, talk to your guidance counselor at school. It sounds like your father is under stress and leaning toward alcoholism. You shouldn't have to hide from him in your room. Look up Al-Anon in the phone book, it's for people dealing with a family member or close friend who's alcoholic. They may be able to help you.  

Answer 21

Parents who are hot-tempered or immoral, who are drunkards, or who bicker with each other—are they really worthy of honor? Yes, for the Bible condemns holding any parent “in derision.” (Proverbs 30:17) Proverbs 23:22 further reminds us that your parents have “caused your birth.” This alone is reason to honor them.

Though they are less than perfect, your parents have also made many sacrifices for you. In 1989 (One research study puts the cost of raising a child to age 18 at $66,400.) It's much more now. and that doesn't include college.

Realize, too, that just because a parent’s example is not the best, this does not mean that everything he or she tells you is wrong.

Thoughtless words may ‘stab’ and ‘cause pain,’ but they will not solve your problems. “The tongue of the wise ones is a healing.” (Proverbs 12:18; 15:1)

Though it was hard, why not  go back and apologize  then discuss the problem more calmly, and get it solved.” I'm sure he doesn't want you afraid of him. Can you have your mother talk to him?

‘Honoring your parents’ may indeed seem to be an old-fashioned idea. But not only is it the smart thing to do it is also the right thing to do in the eyes of God.

Answer 22

hey there! well let me tell you something even when your dad is a horrible person w/u he loves u, i know, but you should try not to think about the problems, i don't know if you know about Jesus, but you can talk to him, pray for your father and for all your problems and you will se for sure a big change, just have faith he can change, trust the Lord w/all your heart and i know you would see how He makes a miracle, good luck and God Bless U! just trust Him,..

Answer 23

Well seems like your dad has some problems... But of course you knew that all along. So that's why your here...

Well first I suggest you find out why he's mad all the time. A good start would be his job and his drinking problems. If you want to do something your self then get your mother and sit the whole family down and have a long talk... I suggest hiring a phyictist to acompany you that would be most benficial. But if money is short them just go for a family and friends intervention. Get all his friends and family and everyone talks a bit about what is going on and how bad it has become...

I hope you succeed :)

Always remember that no matter what he does he most defintly still loves you enough to change. You just need to encourage him to.

Answer 24

honestly hunny ive lived with hat when i was younger and its not cool. my dad was actually physically abusive too. if there is any case as such then you need to talk to a teacher or counsiller at school. here are sometimes changes in life made th do a tota 360 in life but then everything calms down and life moves on. s not good to take the abuse from him you will have trouble in your personal relationships later on in life, noot to mention the low self esteem. You probably dont hate him . yo just hate the behaviour, ell your mom how you feel maybe she needs to step up as the other parent and say something because its not healthy for you. For now just keep acting normal and dont pay him any moind. dont listen to the words on and angry ignorant man who doesnt even know the respect for his own daughter. good luck baby gurl.

Answer 25

Wow.  I'm so sorry that your father is an abusive drunk.  Can you ask one of your gymnastics friends to take you home instead?  

Answer 26

This is very simialar to my friends situation. His dad had an affair on his mom about a year ago. He is constantly drunk. He yells, and blames everything on him and his siblings. he is very unhappy. Just some advice is to love him, and be greatful he brought you into the world. Good luck.

Answer 27

Sounds like your dad has other issues you dont know about.  Ask one of the other parents to take you to gymnastis.  Ask your da what can you do to change his attitude towards you.  Your mom needs to get involved too.