I Think My Daughter Wants to be a Gold Digger? Advice?

Question

So, I'm concerned about my daughter and her values. Ever since she was little she always sided with the "bad girls" on TV shows because they had nice clothes and I had to explain to her why they were bad people and how clothes don't make the person. Now, she's telling her aunt (who's only a year older than her) that she doesn't have to go to college because her job will be to get married when she grows up, and her favorite part in Journey to the Center of the Earth was when they found the diamonds. I'm a single mom, I've worked for everything I've ever gotten, and I'm working hard to get my degree and support myself, so I don't know where these values are coming from! Any advice on how to counter the developing gold-digger in her? I am really worried!

Answer 1

Just keep telling her what you've been telling her, and maybe eventually it will sink in.  Remind her often that wealthy people are not always nice and it's better to be good than rich.

Answer 2

First, get her away from the tube and movies that could have a negative influence on her and get her into an evangelical Christian church.  So many people today are wondering why there's so much trouble with our youth, teens, etc. and its because our society has thrown God out.  Things were much better back in the old days when people actually uphold high Christian values in their household.  You need to discipline and love your child.  Rear her in the way you would have wanted your own mom to rear you.

PLUM's suggestion is good too...that's the idea!!

Answer 3

tell her to marry someone old with no family

Answer 4

she may have the idea that she needs to get married to have wealth because she sees you as a single mom with no or little money ( no offense, i am the child of single mom so i understand the situation) and thinks that to have money you have to have a man to get it for you. stop buying her things that she wants explain to her that money can buyyou everything and dont give her an allowence, tell her that good deeds and kindness will get her the things she wants and when she does something thats not materialistic go out nd buy her a toy.

Answer 5

Make sure she grows up to be ugly, there's no point in an ugly gold digger. So break her nose or make her eat lard or some S**t like that.

Answer 6

How does an aunt only be 1 year older than her~~~ wait my answer: sit her down in front of polotics explain that college makes a diff. just talk to her like  a child

Answer 7

Just keep telling her that that's wrong. Remember you are the parent.

Answer 8

teach her about real life, make her get a job make her earn money and also teach her how to handle money. Also, teach her the value of a good ol' dollar. Let her know that success comes with hard work and that she shouldn't look for happiness through materialistic things. you have to show her REALITY

Answer 9

Show her the video of that crazy British woman on Youtube ranting about her husband. Tell her the story of Anna Nicole. There's a dark side to the princess myth. Tell her that men who marry girls just because they're pretty princesses often tire of them and look for someone younger and prettier, and even a good prince might die young and leave her with nothing.

At 6, she shouldn't be watching TV. You've let her watch too much TV and this is the result.

Answer 10

force her to get a job and make her pay for everything she wants

Answer 11

It's a silly dream. I had it too as a little girl. But I grew up into being a teenager. But then I still had silly dreams to marry rich and sit on my *** the whole day. It's the perfect life. You look good, you're rich as h**l and you didn't do anything for it. But in my teens, it struck how hard it is to get a rich guy. She's just a kid, she'll grow out of it. All you can be is a helpful mom right now. I think its part of her growing up that makes her feel this way. She sees you single and working hard to keep the family working and she's scared and she wants to help. In a little kid's eyes, its easy to be a golddigger to earn money so that 'mommy' won't have to work so much

Answer 12

She's watching way to much TV

And that is exactly what it is TV

Explain reality and fantasy to her and just pray for the best.  I don't know really how much you can do at this point.  Hopefully it's a phase.

Good Luck! :)

Answer 13

I understand your concern. I think she is getting it as a reaction to the hardship that you have put yourself to. I think she loves you and wants to give you a life that you have never got during the years you brought her up. I think she really does not want money so much but wants a good life for herself and for you. She may also be getting ideas from friends who roam around with her. Find out if both these things are true.

Answer 14

Stop handing her over cash to buy things. If she wants to go to the movies again tell her she has to do some little chores or something so she learns the value of a dollar.

Answer 15

I think that you should explain to her that isn't a realistic goal. It is possible to marry rich, and never work. Someone has to do it, wish it was me. But, that doesn't happen for most women.

She will probably outgrow it, when she gets a little older. When she learns how to be realistic.

Until then, about the college, tell her that her rich husband will want an educated woman.

Answer 16

Honestly, right now two of her big influences are television and what she reads/hears at school.  However, you are her biggest influence.  While, yes, she may be innately compelled to marry because she sees you as this single mom who has been struggling, this is something that can be quelled.  You just have to continue to raise her to be smart and to ask questions.  To question the status quo, that is.  By the time she grows up more, she will hopefully have noticed how much you accomplished on your own.  Keep working toward your degree.  Make it clear that this is something that you wanted/needed for you, and not for any man.  Teach her to have goals (like education) for herself and put those first.  Encourage her to pursue things that break the stereotype.  i.e. Math and science.  However, push only things that she actually enjoys, because then you have to worry about resentment if you push her towards something she doesn't actually like.  Show equality in your own romantic relationships.  Raising a child is tough, simply because we are their first and most influential teachers.  It's scary because we never truly realize how much we can affect their behavior.  But don't worry - you seem to be a great mom that cares enough to be worried now about the person she will be in the future.

As for the rest of you - seriously.  Evangelical church? Marry an old guy without a family?!  Make her ugly??!!  I really hope that none of you have children.