I absolutely love being protected and loved by my boyfriend. I have social phobia and i need him, is this ok?

Question

i am 16

hes is 18

he is my protector and i cant leave or go somewhere without him

my mom and dad think im being clingy and faking it

help

Answer 1

Not okay.  At some point this young man will mature and resent your childish behavior

Answer 2

Big mistake. With social phobia, the only person you need to feel protected by is yourself. Relying on someone else to always be there is the worst thing you could do. Start to try doing a few things by yourself now because the longer you wait the worse the disorder will become if he leaves.

Answer 3

You do need to go and seek help. This isnt healthy for you or for your boyfriend. If you need to go somewhere on your own later for work or if you have a child, you will have big problems coping. Please see a doctor.  

Answer 4

It's called co-dependency.

Common among people with social phobia, and it's not "okay" - in the sense that is is unhealthy. You will struggle to 'recover' from Social Phobia if you do not learn the vital lessons of being independent - making your own choices, feeling safe and secure (on your own), and other general things like having your own identity and being successful as a person.

Your parents are harsh in their thinking - perhaps the idea of you struggling upset them, or perhaps they aren't aware of your feelings (it may feel obvious to you but they can't read your mind or know how you feel).

I think you should talk to your boyfriend about how you feel, and try to go places without him, after a while your anxiety will decrease and it will be a lot easier for you. The more avoidant you are of social situations, the more you determine yourself to be socially phobic for a long time.

It may also help to try and explain things better to your parents - if things are so bad that you can't go out alone, psychological help would be beneficial and they should be supportive of that. You could try writing things down, that gives you the chance to say what you want to say without having their immediate and possibly critical/dismissive/impulsive response.

Best of luck.