I ahd to write a scene for my creative writing class. what do you think?

Question

He grabbed her wrists assertively while still holding a hint of tenderness. He forced her body against the wall and moved within a millimeter of her face. She felt his breath dancing on her lips. He slid his palms to meet hers. With their fingers laced, he reached both of her arms above one at a time. He pushed himself against her, entangling their legs. He lowered his head to meet her’s, barely grazing her lips with his in the process. Time suspended between them. Nothing else even remotely mattered. The passion engulfing their bodies was nearly too much for either of them to bear. With that, he released her hands and stood back from her tiny frame. Her legs could hardly support her own weight, the side effect of an adrenaline rush. She watched as he turned and walked away. Just as suddenly he entered her life, he was gone.

constructive criticism is welcome 8)

Answer 1

Keep writing your story is interesting. This individual your writing about must be someone you know. This individual must be good at breaking hearts. Obvious, he destroyed this girl with his charm and then just left. Being both strong and weak in a volatile mix. His greatest strength was walking away. This would have been very hard to do for the average male.

Answer 2

Great scene.

I would lose 'in the process' on the fifth line, however.

But truly a scene that would capture a reader's attention.  I think it would make a good opening for a story.

Answer 3

Good!

Wish there was more.