I already RSVP'd.......?

Question

My distant cousin is getting married at the end of September and I was invited to his wedding. For my mother, I RSV'd for the wedding but I don't really want to go. As I was talking to her the other day she told me that I didn't have to do if I didn't want to.

He is my distant cousin but I know him well. I am not a fan of him or the bride. She is always very rude to me when I see her. I'm a very easy going person and don't usually have problems with people. The hotel is not booked yet. Is it too late to tell them I "can't" go or should I just suck it up? I don't want to be rude and not show up if they already paid for my meal and such and I want to let them know as soon as possible so they don't put me down for anything.

Answer 1

Immediately let them know that you cannot make it.  Whatever you do, don't just not show up.

Take care!

Answer 2

Call (or email, if you can - somehow that seems easier!) as soon as you can (today, now!) to let them know that you will not be able to attend.  Apologies, of course, so sorry.  "Best Wishes, Congratulations to you both.  I will think of you that day!"

If they ask you what came up...well, a little white lie for a distant cousin may be better than "I am not a fan of him or his bride.  She is always very rude to me..."  How about a simple, "Can't get time off work" and/or "Just don't have the money to travel."

And again, so sorry.  But "Cheers" to the happy couple!  Hope you have fun on your honeymoon!

Answer 3

so a wedding day is supposed to be about a bride and groom. if u know that ur presence would bother them then let them know that u won't be able to make it after all and wish them luck! be very apologetic when u call! good luck!!

Answer 4

Call them and let them know you can't make it.  Not showing up after you rsvp'd would be rude. I'd still send a gift as well, for appearances sake.

Answer 5

I would immediately let them know, they may just benefit from it and have someone that needs the meal or the room.

Answer 6

I would tell them that something came up- school event...something! I'm going to hate it when people rsvp to my december wedding, and not show up... b/c if you picked a plate- they're paying for you to be there. so to RSVP out of courtesy and not show up, isn't fun for the bride who spent money for you to be there... :(

just make something up.. ;)

Answer 7

Call now, and let them know

Answer 8

Nope, not too late. But do it quickly, so they have just enough time to get out an invitation to someone they didn't have room to invite. And even if they don't have a list of people they'd like to invite you're probably in the clear, they shouldn't have had to confirm head count yet.  

Answer 9

you definitely should NOT go.  If you don't want to go, then you won't have fun.  Think of a good reason, and politely decline ASAP.  They need to have head counts and meals set up just over a month ahead of time.  They need to arrange their seating chart, so the sooner you let them know, the better.

Each guest can be very expensive to include.  I am planning mine right now, and it looks like each person will be approx. $135.  You want those people to have a good time, so if you'd rather not go, then you don't have to.  It's not rude at all if you have a decent excuse!

Answer 10

If I were in your shoes, I would still attend just because I really had no good reason to not go other than "I don't want to."

But if you really, really don't want to go, think of a good reason and call her immeditaley. Just say something like, "I'm really sorry, but it turns out I won't be able to make it afterall. I apologize if this is inconveniencing you, which is why I called as soon as I found out. I hope you have a great day."

As a bride, if someone had a good reason to not attend, I wouldn't care. Brides and grooms have until a week before to give their caterer and venue a head count, so they'll be okay. But I most definitely wouldn't tell him, "I really don't like your bride, I'm not coming."

Just be vague, say something came up and that you're sorry you cannot attend. But I would still make every attempt to go if you can. You say you like the groom, and I'm sure it would mean a lot to him if you're there.

Answer 11

its not to late but make sure you let them know ahead of time so they can invite someone else

Answer 12

Since you already RSVP'ed, you should really go unless something else comes up (ad that doesn't mean looking for an excuse). Obviously you do not HAVE to go, but if you really didn't want to you could have RSVP'ed no. I say its too late and you should suck it up. If you decide not to go or can't go, send as nice of a gift as you can afford.

Answer 13

Tell them NOW! They probably haven't had to turn in their headcount yet, but they will soon. If you just don't show up or wait until the last minute to cancel, they'll have to pay for your meal anyway.