I am 11 weeks pregnant. There is no room in my life for a child. I need all information on adoption.?

Question

I am 29 years old. I would like to know who to contact, and what expenses will be paid, including medical and living expenses.

Answer 1

Why don't you try to go to dss and tell them the would take the baby.

Answer 2

Hi,

I do not mean to be judge mental but do you have ANY idea of how much pain that child will suffer?? Do you have ANY idea what it feels like to suffer in that way? Well i do. I was adopted out as a kid. I have suffered my whole life.  I am now anxious and depressed. I mean, adoption is understandable if you have special circumstances, but if you just want to do it because 'you have no room'? Thats plain selfish. I am pregnant now and it was unexpected and to tell the the truth, at first I was sad. But I realize that every baby is a miracle and they deserve a normal life. If you are that selfish to deprive a child from a normal and happy life, you should 'pay all your expenses' and go to a shrink. Oh and by the way, did you expect you could just 'pay your expenses' and dump the baby and never see it again???! I feel deep sorrow for your poor little baby.

Answer 3

I am sorry people are being SO incredibly judgmental about such a PRIVATE decision you are making.  Will these anonymous people on the internet be there for you in tough times?  I think not, I am not judging you b/c I don't know you or your circumstances.  I hope you make the decision that is the best for you and your unborn child.  You can search your local city for adoption agencies or attorneys.  I would talk to as many as possible before you settle for one.  Make sure you feel comfortable and that you are made to feel like you can change your mind if you feel like it.   The expenses paid will depend on what state you live in and their laws pertaining to adoption.  And for those arranging to talk to you online about adopting your child RUN the other way.  You have NO idea who these people are at all.  I am working on a domestic adoption but I would NEVER solicit someone online to adopt their child.  it is just wrong wrong wrong.

Answer 4

At only 11 weeks, you aren't expected to feel connected to your child. At least wait until the baby is born, prebirth adoptions can go horribly wrong. At first I didn't want a baby, it wasn't until I saw him kicking around on the ultrasound that I truly fell in love. I couldn't imagine how horrible things would be if I ran to an adoption agency during my first trimester. You've got 9 years on me, if I can find room for my baby, why can't you find room for yours? Besides, you'd have to get the father of the child to agree. Take some responsibility for what you've created, be an adult and take care of your own flesh and blood. That child depends on you and I guarantee that when you go through 20+ hours of labor only to see a small, precious and fragile, beautiful baby, you'll immediately regret not wanting him/her.

Answer 5

I would suggest that you contact an adoption agency or attorney in your area and he/she could let you know these types of details- but from personal experience when we adopted our 2 children 16 and 19 years ago= we paid their birth mom's living expenses and medical expenses that occurred from the time that we knew that they had selected us as parents for their children.  Thanks for choosing life for your child, even when you know that you cannot raise the child at this time- if you want to talk email me

Answer 6

Whatever you do, please don't kill your baby (get an abortion).

Watch this; "Letter to you from an UNborN BabY!" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SP1SU3xcv...

http://www.abortionfacts.com

Answer 7

Thank you oh so much for choosing to have this baby. Having a baby can be one of the scariest things to ever happen to a person. i do not have a child of my own, but my brother and sister-in-law dropped my nephew off on me with no warning when he was 3 days old, that was almost 5 years ago. I was a single 24yo one day and a mom the next. Boy was i scared. But now i see that he was the best thing that ever happened to me, as now i know that niether me or my husband can have children(we are waiting for a baby through adoption hopefully) Pray and ask for guidance. Talk to your family and get their support. Then later if you still want to give the baby up start talking to adoption agencies and ask LOTS of questions to them. Good luck and God bless. Feel free to email me.

Answer 8

Boy are you selfish. Anyway, it's good if you're giving it up to someone who would kill for a child and not keeping it when you don't realize what a precious gift you've been handed. But also, you know how babies are made, use some protection next time.

How are you only concerned with the money? I really can't get over your question!

But you do need to discuss it with the father of the baby if you know who it is. He has just as many rights and if you don't want the baby and he does, he'll be the one who can take it before you can have he or she adopted out. Be fair.

Answer 9

All you need to do is a search on the internet that says adopting a baby and the state you are in. I'm sure you will find something. Alot of people are putting you down for this, but from my point of view, it's better than having an abortion and there are alot of couples out there like myself and my husband that have tried to have their own baby and it just doesn't work. Some women just have that motherly instinct and want to have a baby so bad but can't and the people like you out there can make those baby dreams come true. From my opinion, it will not hurt the baby if they grow up in a loving family and learn to realize that their birth mother didn't feel that she would be able to take care of them as well as someone that is more prepared for it. Good luck in whatever you choose.

Answer 10

If you feel that there is no room in your life for a child, the best thing you can do is put the baby up for adoption.  There are lots of families waiting to adopt and you are giving families that cannot have children of their own a chance to have a family.  We only have one child and are unable to have more and are considering adoption.  That being said,  you can contact an adoption agency in your state and they can give you all the information that you need.  Most times, the birth mother will request that all medical and part living expenses be paid by the adoptive parents.  I wish you the best and thank you for asking about adoption and not abortion.

Answer 11

Hmmm, don't you also want to know the best way to find a good home for the child?

Answer 12

You are taking in consideration your current circumstances to make a responsible decision. It will not be easy for you, regardless of your final decision. Trust your instinct and don't let others influence you or make you feel bad.

My husband and I are unable to have children and if you decide to give up your rights as a mother, you would make a dream come true for a family. However, make sure this is really what you want to do. We had a surrogate mother walk out on us and it devastated us for a long time. We are now networking and trying to avoid adoption agencies, because it seems to be all about money making and not necessarily about what is best for all involved. There are good families out there who would respect and admire you to take such difficult step.

As far as you asking for expenses being paid, that is just reality. You and your unborn child need to be taken care of during this time.

I hope you find your answers and wish you nothing but the best.

Answer 13

If you have health insurance that should cover the medical, if not medicad or care not sure which is which will cover the pregnancy because a baby is involved.  Just go to your local social service office for details.  Ask for living expenses, really my view is that you are paying the woman for the baby and I do not think this is right.

What I would recommend is that you find a couple who is looking for adoption and get to know them and let them get to know you.  As around with friends or family and find someone who is interested.  Just know that if they do pay any expenses for you and the adoption does not go through in most states you are responsible for paying back the couple.

Answer 14

Hello, I would wait.  I remember when I found out I was pregnant with my last child and I thought I couldn't deal because my husband and I were struggling financially.  Wow, now I think, where was my mind at.  My child is so special!  What would I do without him? He gives me warm kisses everyday, big hugs, and I love you's all the time.  He writes me poems and when I'm down he pats me on the back and tries to rock me.  Please think long and hard because you never know what you are giving up.

If you decide adoption is right for you, Adopt Help is a good agency.

http://www.adopthelp.com/?OVRAW=adoption...

Answer 15

Have you considered how difficult it will be for your child to be taken from the only mother s/he knows and raised with strangers?  Have you thought about the mother/child bond that you will feel after your child is born?

Please wait until after your baby is born to make any plans.  You never know how you will feel then. Please consider what changes you might be able to make to your life in order to MAKE room for a baby, just in case.  Trust me, if you still feel this way after your baby is born, the process will be VERY easy.  There are 90 waiting parents for every healthy, white infant out there.  Competition is fierce in the baby business (and I'm not trying to be crude...it actually is a business, and adoption agencies and lawyers are making loads of money off of these babies).

If you're concerned about the expenses, I'm sure there are plenty of programs to help expectant mom's.  Best of luck to you!

Answer 16

Although I'm sorry that you can't find room in your life for your baby, I'm glad you didn't choose the more selfish option of abortion for dealing with your situation. There are a great many parents out there waiting for babies and I'm sure they'll appreciate the decision you've made.

Bethany Christian Services is the largest national adoption and family services agency in the United States.

Bethany offers:

* Assistance with medical and living expenses

* Referrals for housing and coordination of medical services

* Interim care for the child, if desired

* Development of an adoption plan

* Hospital visitation and coordination of services with hospital staff

* Birthparent support groups

* Post-adoption counseling

* Assistance with the legal process of termination of parental rights

* Counseling services for designated (private) or attorney-facilitated (designated) adoptions

* Pregnancy counseling for you and your extended family before and after birth

http://www.bethany.org/

God bless you and I hope for the best for you and your baby.

Answer 17

Why is there no room in your life for a child, sounds to me like someone is a very selfish person .Listen there is never a good time to have children you can plan and plan and plan then next thing you know your out of time your body's to old and you regret . did you ever stop to think of what your child will feel !!! have you considered abortion instead of adoption?an acorn is not a tree and a fetus is not a person its a parasite that needs you as a host to sustain life why even bring that child into this world if your going to put behind the proverbial eight ball from the start. I'm asking  you to think hard about you decision think about how it will make you feel years down the road!!!!

Answer 18

WOW - I feel extremely sad for your child.

Unwanted straight from the start.

Make sure you know your rights - in case you change your mind - read this brochure -

http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

I had great adoptive parents - but knowing that I was never good enough to be kept - hurt to the core.

(I've since found that my grandmother forced my mother to give me up - but it still hurts)

I didn't get to grow up around the people that looked like me - acted like me - had talents like me.

It just always felt wrong.

Please do make sure - if you go through with adoption - that you at least try to have some contact with the child (ie some type of open adoption - although these are not legally enforceable - the adoptive parents can close off contact any time they wish) - as adoptees needs that contact for better self image and self worth.

At least find it in you to have contact - for the child's sake.

I'm really tired of women using adoption as some sort of birth control.

Those adopted children grow up - think for themselves - and realise that adoption is too often a whole lot of heart ache - just because they were conceived and born at an inconvenient time.

I've lived adoption for 38 years - and I know, personally, hundreds of adoptees that feel a similar way.

Sorry if you don't like my answer - but it's the truth as I see it.

If there is no room in your life for a child - you should have never created one to start with.

Answer 19

I think it's great that you want to put your baby up for adoption instead of getting an abortion. I am adopted myself but I really dont know much about the whole process. I don't think you will need to pay anything, the parents who want to adopt your child will pay for that.

Answer 20

There are so many ways to do this, and so many different state laws.

When we did private adoption (our son's first mom was 27), we had her move in with us, (actually by her choice, she had a nice camper we put on our property so she'd have privacy, however, she hated to cook and didn't have laundry, so she spent more time in the house, which I loved).  We paid most of her expenses, such as living, cell phone, she used my car and fuel, and I purchased her maternity clothes, medications and personal items.  It is against the law to get cash, however, I just went ahead and we went shopping anytime she wanted.  

I discourage pregnant women from going through agencies, because they can strong arm you, however, do everything legally, that way both you and the adoptive parents, and most of all, the baby is protected.  You will probably qualify for medicaid, which will pay your medical expenses, and then the parents are responsible for the baby's expenses.

Make sure that whoever adopts the baby has  home study in place (mine was just updated Friday, where a licensed social worker comes several times, does interviews, looks at the house, does background and criminal checks, etc.).  

I'd love to adopt again, and have a home specifically for our next birth mother to live in.  Be careful through this forum though, because there are people who might lure you in to hurt you.  Get references before you consider anyone, of someone like the mayor, someone in social work through a private agency of some sort that you can verify the phone numbers, and authenticity of people.  

Please know that I realize this is a tough decision, and that my prayers are with you and this baby.  Also, ignore some of the answers you get here, which will be cruel and mean!  Good luck!

Answer 21

I really don't know but I would imagine u can call your doctor or a agency for adoption and I'm sure they will lead u in the right direction. I also think u are being very selfish but at least u didn't say abortion. U know what it takes to make a baby so why not use protection. Also bf u make any heart breaking decision make sure u talk with the father because he has a right to know what u are thinking concerning the child. Last but not least u will start having feeling of love for the child while it is developing inside u and that's why I said it will be a heart breaking decision. Good Luck!

Answer 22

i would contact american red cross or your local women's clinic. they will probably point you in the right direction. it's too bad that at 29 you didn't protect yourself from getting pregnant if you knew there wasn't "room in your life" for a baby. but in my opinion when you are a responsible adult you make room for the baby and you adjust your life to fit the baby's needs.

Answer 23

You can choose a family for your child, and so long as they are willing there are certain expenses they can cover. The law varies by state but medical expenses related to the pregnancy, maternity clothes, food, living expenses, transportation can all be covered in most cases. There is no standard list of what is paid. It is usually negotiated between the mom, the adoptive parents and the agency/lawyer according to the state laws and the mom's situation. Also depending on your situation you may get medical coverage for the pregnancy and birth through the state (CA has free medical care for any pregnant woman who can't afford coverage).

To find a family you can look online for "waiting families" and find a family you like then call or  email etc  until you know the are the right ones. If you take this approach you should quickly get in touch with their agency or lawyer to make sure everyone is comfortable with all the parties involved.

Alternately you can contact several agencies and see which you are most comfortable with, then ask them to help you find a family. The agency or family you choose does not have to be in your state. We were living in California when our daughter's mom  contacted us from  Georgia. We flew to Ga the day my daughter was born. Of course in this case the mom didn't want ongoing contact, so the distance was okay with her.

You may want to find a family that is comfortable with open adoption. This way you can have ongoing contact with the family and the child. Even if you don't want contact now, you may want to re-establish it later. We've told my daughter's mom that she is always welcome to get in touch with us, even though she prefers not to now.

I wish you all the best. This is a difficult choice but one that may bring another family so much joy. Good luck.

Answer 24

i would have an abortion.  if you have half a heart, you won't be ale to carry it to term then throw it out.  adoption sucks....as an adoptee.

for the hungry baby stealers, i'm sure you will find one on here to buy yours

Answer 25

There is no easy choice. There is no wrong choice.

An unplanned pregnancy can be one of life's most difficult experiences.

http://www.adoptionsfromtheheart.org/pre...

Answer 26

I am 29 years old, too. I am adopted and have two children (9 years and 6 years), I had my first when i was 19 years old and couldn't part with either of them and never thought of any other option. I met my birth mother who ironically had been told  that she was very unlikely (due to genealogical reasons) to have anymore children, even though she was only in her early thirties at the time, but if you are adamant then you could contact social services and they can put you in touch with the relative people / agencies. Think that expenses are only paid if the adoption is private but a social worker should be able to help you. I am currently in the process of tracing my birth father, I wish you and your baby all the very best, just make sure this is the right decision for you both, adoption - once completed is final but fostering isn't, which may be an option? Good luck, hun. x