I am 15 haven't seen my dad since I was 2...?

Question

Long story but he cheated on my mom and she left him anyway I think I want to meet him but I don't know if he would like to meet me or how to ask my mom or anything please help me? thanks!

Answer 1

Talk to your mom. She'll tell you a good reason why or why not to go see him or she'll tell you the risks of going to see him.

Answer 2

Maybe there are things your mother is protecting you from.  Talk to her first.  Everyone (dad) deserves a second chance.    After that they are abusing your generosity.  Expect that he won't want to see you and you won't be disappointed.  Don't wait until he is dead and wish you had contacted him.

  

Answer 3

This is a very common desire to want to get to know a parent who has not been a part of your life for a long time.  Explain to your mom that you want to meet your father and ask for her help.  Make sure you remain calm about it and if it upsets your mom, try to calm her fears.

Answer 4

I say, ask your mom what REALLY happened, the entire truth.  Then, based on what she says, decide if you really want to meet him or not.  You are 15 and obviously he has no interest in being in your life, or has made no attempt at doing so.  Once you are 18, look for him if you must, but it may not turn out so well.

Let me tell you about a friend of mine.  I'll try to make the story brief.  My friend "Tina" (not her real name) got a full scholarship to a college because she was so intelligent.  However, during her second semester, she slept with her best male friend ONE TIME and got pregnant.  "Jack" stayed by Tina through the entire pregnancy, but once she had the baby, he was gone.  Tina, now a single mother, had to drop out of college and move back in with her parents.

Fast forward 12 years.  Tina's son "Travis" (not his real name) has only been visited by his biological father Jack twice in his life, and one of those times was during the Paternity testing for child support purposes.  Jack wants nothing to do with Travis.  In fact, Jack has fathered 5 children throughout the state (all by different mothers), none of whom he visits.  He hasn't paid child support for Travis in 7 years.  Tina has contacted Jack numerous times, BEGGING Jack to spend time with Travis.  Still, he never visits.

The moral of the story is, if your father asks to see you, great, spend some time with him.  But don't break your mother's heart by actively searching for your father when he obviously hasn't wanted anything to do with you for all these years.

Answer 5

I know you have the curiosity.  The best thing is to be open with your mother and have a sit down dinner just the two of you and talk to her about it.  Mom's aren't always as scary as they seem.  Open up to your mom, she will build respect for you and it will build character and self esteem for you.  

Answer 6

why

he showed that he didn't care for you  

Answer 7

Same situation, but from the flip side. My daugher is 14. She hasn't seen her dad since she was a baby, so does not know or remember him. The hardest burden of this has been convincing my girl that she did nothing wrong, and that she is more than worthy of having a dad. I confronted him about a year ago and tore a strip off of him! I told him that he and he alone made me a single mother! He and he alone deprived my daughter of her god given right to have not one but two parents that love her....and then I told him that although he thinks he "got away" with something...he will realize one day how wrong he is. Guess what I have? A beautiful daughter who loves me to pieces, and will be with me the day I die. He does not have her one bit. I told him - even if he showed up tomorrow and developed a "relationship" with her, nothing will EVER change the fact that her childhood belongs to her and me only....his failure will never ever be remedied. The fact is, I know he will never show up. Why? Because of who HE is, not who she is. HE doesn't want a daughter, I did. I have one, he doesn't. If anything, please wait a little while before deciding whether or not he really deserves to look at the beautiful person I'm sure you've become for even one second! Does he deserve you?