...I am 16, and I want to have a baby?

Question

I just turned 16 recently.

My dad is in his 50s, and he smokes around 5 packs of cigarettes per day [no joke]. And I am worried that he will die without meeting my children.

I am L*****n [I have known my whole life.] But I think I want to have a baby. I am 16, and I have my GED, and I have been going to the community college. Anyways, I think I want to have a baby. I want my best friend to be the father. he is a year younger than me, and we have had the best of times.

Should I have a baby? I want my dad to know my child

Answer 1

Okay, so I am not going to tell you that you are too young because some young women have very healthy lives with their children at 16 years old. I can understand where you are coming from (I'm 19 and my dad is 48), but my cousin is a L*****n (I don't much like that word) and she was in a similar situation. She knew she was homosexual but she hadn't found the "One" yet and she really wanted a family. She got together with a friend of hers and they decided that he would be her sperm donor (No she did not have a procedure for this). She is now married to her wife and she regrets what she did because she doesn't even like this guy anymore but he wants to be in the baby's life. Now think about this, you are trying to raise a child to know both of their moms, when all of a sudden this guy wants to be the dad? I think it's great that you are continuing your education and that proves even more that you are grown up more than most people your age, but you need to find someone who is going to help raise a child in a safe and secure home, because it's hard to grow up in two homes where the parents are not together. I also know how you feel wanting your Dad to know your kid; my grandmother knew my niece and nephew but she will never meet my kids... It's a part of life that people die and you just really have to live with it and not make decisions based on what could happen. You could get pregnant and God forbid, your Dad could die in a car accident the day after you found out. How would that feel? Please, just think about eveything that I have said, but in the end, it's really your decision (and your friend's).

Answer 2

i 16 is very young to be thinking about haing ababy (espacially justfro your dad to meet them).

i was 18 when my dad died and i now have 2 girls and ababy on the way yes i get upset at times that dad only died a yr and a bit before i had my first daughter but death can happen to any one at ny age and unexpectedly as much as you want your dad to meet your kids there is alot to take into account like does your best friend want to have a baby would he stick around, would he want to be part of its life and sorry if this sounds mean but would he want it raised by 2 girls or would he expect you to be with him, if you are truely a lesbain and dont think you will ever be with a male think of the conseqences for your child and what people will say as kids can be so very mean and ok say you fall pregnant and your dad died (hope it wont happen) BEFORE YOU GAVE BIRTH. would you still want the baby would you feel cheated and what would you do then, would there be any body to help you could you support the baby on your own. you are so young and there is so much you could do with your life before having kids i suggest speak to your dad and tell him of your fears if you struggle to do this face to face write him a letter and make him aware of how you fell maybe he will try and change his ways. good luck with what ever you decide just remember you cant give the baby back if you change yoiur mind  

Answer 3

It may be necessary to speak with your father and let him know how you feel about him smoking and tell him about your concerns w/ him not being able to be part of your future. I am 22 and can honestly tell you from experience you are not ready. 16 is just way too young. I feel that at 22, I am even way too young. It's weird, the older you get the more you realize how much growing up you still have to do. When I was 16 I felt as if i knew exactly who i was, where i stood and what i wanted. But I was soooooo wrong. Time has the ability to change things... i'm sure you will make a great mother one day... but are you sure it would be fair to your child to start now? It sounds as if you're a step ahead... already done with high-school and starting college courses at 16 is great! Stay on that path... work hard for your future and stay true to those who are in your life. I think deep down you probably feel you're too young. I think the main issue is your concerns about your father... My best advice i can give you is this... address your true concenrs.  

Answer 4

Honestly, having a child is a HUGE decision & a BIG DEAL. You give birth to a human being & raise them for 18+ years. They are a big responsability & the care & expenses for a child are immense. Do you have a job? Are you even financially stable to have a baby? Do you want to be on welfare? Seriously, not in a mean way, but think over these questions! Having a baby doesn't just pop it out--child birth is extremely painful & raising a child can be just as hard. Most will agree you are TOO YOUNG & too immature to realize just how big a deal having a baby is. PLEASE do us all (taxpayers & fellow citizens) a favor & wait at least a fw years til you're out on your own. So then your child would have a better life, too. And you would be "ready" then at least. Best of luck & think things through. Bringing a child to this world is a big, big deal!! <3

Answer 5

That's the wrong reason to have a baby. Besides, your father will be looking down on both of you after he dies (hopefully). I'd talk to your father and try to get him to stop smoking. Either way, you have no idea when he is going to die. He could die today in a car accident. Does that mean you should have a baby as soon as you get your first period because he could die tomorrow? No. You have to think about what having the baby is going to be like 24/7, not the few minutes out of the day you might be spending with the baby and the baby's grandfather. The baby may be happy with having a great grandfather, and that's good, but the baby needs more than a relationship with a grandfather. Also, if he chain smokes like that, how is he going to be around the baby? Surely you wouldn't want him smoking around the baby. The baby could die of SIDS or have complications like  allergies and asthma in life, now, or later. My mom smoked around my and my brother and sister. I had problems when I was little, but my sister never had any side effects. My mom used this as an excuse to say its okay to smoke around babies, since my sister was fine. Well, now my sister is 30 years old and has now developed severe asthma for no reason- and I believe it's because of that smoke she was around as a child. Plus, you're going to have to support that child. And if you're 16 I bet your father is already helping you out. And what if you have the baby, and then your father dies? How are you going to care for that baby the way you should? If you don't have medical insurance having the baby delivered is about 10 thousand alone. You're going to have this baby for the rest of your life. Not just when it is convenient for you. Just the fact that you're considering this shows your immaturity so I know you're not ready for a baby yet anyway.