I am 18, never had a boyfriend ... Should I make the first move?

Question

I have never had a boyfriend because I want to wait until I find the perfect guy and now I think I have.

I've known him for just over 5 years and I really like him.

We've been spending a lot of time together recently.

I THINK he likes me, but I am only about 70% sure.

He kind of gives mixed signals to me.

Should I go for it and ask him out or should I wait for him to say something - even though he might not?

HELP!

Any other advice?

Thanks.

Answer 1

This is tricky, I was friends with this guy that I really liked so I told him I liked him..............and he turned me down (because he 'didn't want to ruin our friendship').

We did end up getting together and are still together now but I really regret asking him because it made me feel bad about myself.

Exactly the same thing happened to one of my best friends - she had been friends with this guy for a few years told him she liked him, was turned down and they ended up going out.

Even if he had said yes you are stuck with the feeling that he didn't like you enough to make the first move.

I know it is traditional and maybe its sexist but it is much nicer for the girl to be asked out. Otherwise you feel vulnerable in the relationship like they know you like them so do not have to make as much effort.

We have been going out for nearly 3 years and the way we got together still bothers me now! I feel that I missed out on the great start of the relationship where you feel so excited and happy because my bf just made me feel like I wasn't good enough :( but maybe thats just him.

So I think you should wait but be really flirty and see how that goes.

Make it obvious you like him without outright asking him out so if he likes you he should then ask you out.

If after being more flirty than usual for a couple of weeks he does nothing then maybe thats a sign he doesn't want to go out with you. But that way there is still a possibility of him asking you out in the future, whereas if you ask him out and you get turned down it ruins things (and makes you feel so bad about yourself, I should know).

Who knows what could happen :)

Ech.... men are so hard to read.

Good luck I hope things work out for you

xx

Answer 2

Iff ur like in love with him then just talk to him and let him make the 1st moove then but make sure that he knows that u like him  

Answer 3

He may be shy about making the first move - I say you should go for it. And if he says no, then you'll know he's not your perfect guy - wouldn't it be better to find out one way or the other right now? Good luck!

Answer 4

I'm really traditional. I'm 19 turning 20 this December and I've never asked a girl out for the same reasons as you.

I personally think a girl should never ask a guy out unless it's a dance where the girls ask the guys.

And it's not some sexist thing. It's just a responsibility men have. It's our job and responsibility and a guy needs to have the courage to go for what he wants.

Now I don't think a girl is any less for asking a guy, but it basically lets the guy "off the hook" he didn't have to do anything for the relationship, which makes you wonder how much he really wanted it.

Give him hints that you like him, but don't ask him. That's my opinion. Ask about his personal life, if he has a girlfriend, what he looks for in a girl. Smile when you two make eye contact. Act embarrassed or shy around him, but outgoing once you two actually start hanging out.

Most guys think shy girls are cute, but they want them to be outgoing.

If you act shy at the beginning and then become more relaxed while you hang out and become more outgoing he'll love you.

If you really want to ask him out, ask him to do other things instead. Don't ask him to be your boyfriend, ask him to coffee or a movie or go swimming or skating.

So I think a girl shouldn't have to ask a guy out. They can make a guy feel "secure/safe" about asking a girl out, but they should never flat out admit they like the guy unless the guy admits it first. Give him reassurance that if he ever DID ask you out that you would say yes. You do this by fliriting with him and sending signals.

Answer 5

If you really like him, tell him how you feel.

Good luck.  

Answer 6

Go for it girl, If you thinks hes the one!

Answer 7

well just go for it

Answer 8

make the first move if he wont... its not gonna kill you

Answer 9

the best thing to do is sit down and talk to him, that why you can both sort out everything and get it all straight  

Answer 10

If you really like him you have nothing to loose, he is probably thinking the same thing as you... waiting for you to make the first move.  Tell him that you like him and see what he says.

Good Luck

x*x