I am 27 Weeks and I am scared of my Mom and My mother-in-law Fighting?

Question

All right these women fought the night of my wedding over stupid stuff!! now lets just say they both want to be in the room and i kinda don't want fighting!! I asked my best friend, and sister-in-law to be in the room!! But really i did that so those two would not fight!!! I am now thinking maybe it should be me and my husband!!! But now i just don't know!! O yeah we are very excited and happy we are having a girl!! he feels the same way i do!!! So please give some advice!!!!????

Answer 1

my mom and mother-in-law argued alot about the bby but since i live with my mom my mother-in-law gets the bby on the weekends friday saturday and sunday. jst for the day not for the night. when she gets older she may stay the night over there some but for now this is my story with my baby

Answer 2

Blame it on the doctors and hospital.  Let your doctor(s), nurse(s) and hospital know that you just want you and your husband in the room and they go along with it and deal with your friends and family for you.  

Tell your friends and family "Listen I know I said you could be in the room but according to the doctor, I'm only allowed one person with me and I want my husband in there."  If they love you and know that it's best not to argue with a pregnant woman then they will shrug it off and understand.  

My nurses and doctors did this for me.  So many wanted to be in the room and I didn't really want anyone other than my mom and husband because others would have created unnecessary drama, etc... So as soon as I got to the hospital my husband and I explained the situation to the nurses and doctors and they went along with it...not to mention I was really only allowed 2 people in the room so I technically wasn't lying but everyone still took it well and understood and waited patiently.  

You shouldn't have to stress about stuff like this when it's all about you (and your husband) but everyone wants a part in this awesome moment and they will have a part in it, just after the baby is born.  Best wishes and congrats!

Answer 3

Tell everyone that noone can be in the room except you and your hubby. And that it is a private and special moment for the two of you.

Its totally respectable, and noone should fight then.  Good luck

Answer 4

It would be very selfish of them if they fought at a very special time like the birth of your daughter. If you don't want them in the room, thats your choice and they should not get mad. If you decide you do want them in there with you, you must tell them straight out that they cannot fight and ruin your big day.

Answer 5

Well, they are both moms, so can you could try a compromise. How many kids are you going to have? I had my mom in the delivery room with my first, and explained the reasoning to my MIL that I wanted her to help me (she's a nurse, and she speaks English!). My MIL was invited to come to every other kid's birth (even then we planned on several), but my mom only got to come to the first one.

If that isn't a possibility, then I'd say tell them both they aren't invited because you already have one screaming infant to worry about...more will just complicate things!

Answer 6

Yeah I am totally agreeing with your husband in the room, I mean its going to be his child after all... So he should be in there for that speacial moment!!

Answer 7

Sweetheart giving birth is going to be one of the most beautiful moments in you and your husbands lives. If you want your mothers in there that's fine, and if you just want you and your husband that's  fine too. This is your moment, do what's best for you. You're husband may have to step up here (which they always love doing especially when it comes to labor. Something for them to do) and do what's best for you and your daughter.

Both mothers need to respect this and show you and your daughter the respect and support that you will need. If you're worried about their behavior during the birth, you and your husband can sit down and speak with them individually. Let your husband know that if they begin to argue while you're in the delivery room you don't want them in there. It's stressful enough delivering you shouldn't have to worry about two adult women fighting. If they can't behave like adults then they will miss something that they will never be able to recapture.

Just be honest with them. Let them know that you guys are worried about the delivery and behavior of the two moms in the delivery room.

Personally, I would welcome them both in but during the actually pushing I would just have my husband in there with me. The fact that you both want to share this moment with your mom speaks wonders about both woman.

Also speak with your doctor about this added stress you're experiencing. If you have a good doctor, he or she will probably kick them out of the delivery room if tempers begin to flare. Or just not allow them at all. You just concentrate on bringing that healthy baby girl into the world!!!

Best of Luck!!!

Answer 8

Sometimes parents act like children, which sounds like how they are acting.  You  just have to make a decision.  If you want a peaceful delivery, then tell them they can't be in there with you.  Delivery can be stressful enough without two grown women acting like 2 year olds.  Since it sounds like your first child, just let your hubby do the honors by himself, well along w/the medical staff of course.  Stand your ground whatever you decide. But don't be afraid to hurt their feelings over this.  They'll get over it.

Answer 9

i would say just have you & your hubby that way you can tell your mum and MIL thats its a special moment that just the two of you want to share with each other (which wont work if you have other ppl in there!)

Answer 10

go with just you and your hubby and leave everyone else out of it. It will be stressful enough with just you giving birth. You don't need to listen to them fight. They can wait out in the waiting room and when the baby is born, be told the s*x/weight/hight. This is your moment to shine and you can't do it over, so enjoy yourself, your hubby and new one before inviting them in.

Answer 11

I had everyone imaginable in the room with me. His mother, stepfather, father, stepmother, my 3 sisters, my mom, my aunt, his godmother, and my uncle. I just wrote out a birth plan and distributed it to them. Right on there it said if there was any discord during my labor/birth that person ( s ) were to be immediatly escorted and barred from my hospital room and the nursery. It worked. NOBODY fought.

Answer 12

I would want my mom in the room and not my best friend or my sister in law...its sounds like you have quite a crowd in there

Answer 13

Have just you and your husband in the room.  Honestly, you are not going to want anyone else in there.  It's a special moment that should be shared between the two of you - not your mothers!

Answer 14

Well then, warn them ahead of time there, that if they cannot behave, you will have them removed from the hospital! I know it sounds harsh, but it will keep them both in check, especially when you need peace the most!!! Having a baby is suppose to be an exciting & wonderful experience, & you deserve to not have the second most special day ruined by their petty fighting. So, set them down seperatly, & tell them, under no circumstances whatsoever are they to ruin this for you, & if they do, you will have them removed & they wont see you or the baby till you are home with her!!!

Best of Luck to you & Congrats on having a girl!!!

Answer 15

i am not pregnant just yet but i must put in my opinion.  it sounds like there is too many heads in there.  i am not so sure the hospital will allow 5 people to be in the room.  

a good story to tell the grandmothers to be is... "the dr. says the room will be packed with nurses and medical equipment so only 2 people are allowed in the delivery room.  the first person is my husband, i don't want to hurt anyone's feelings so i am going to only have him in the room. "  

congrats on the pregnancy.  i just hope when this happens to me, my loved ones don't put me on the spot and respect who i choose to be in there with me.

Answer 16

If you are married, I think it's pretty weird to have any relatives other than your husband in the room with you. I would say no to the lot of them. They can come see the baby later.

Answer 17

My wife and I had the same fears and issues when we had our first. We decided together that the best thing to do was tell our mothers very respectfully, that we wished to have those first few moments for just OUR family (my wife, myself and our new child.) NOone was offended by that and we didn't have to worry about any added stress. They were both called shortly after the child was born and told they could then come visit whenever they wanted.

Answer 18

have whoever you want in the room with you, whoever you will be most comfortable with during your most severe pain... if youre uncomfortable then it will make the birthing process even worse. tell whoever you DONT want in the room that your'e having the other people in the room because of your personal choice bottom line. no fighting - no questions asked.

good luck and congrats with the girl!! im having a girl too on october 6th =]

Answer 19

You just have to make up your mind and stick with it.  Who knows, you just might have a change of heart when you are actually in there.

I know for sure that the only two people that will be in the room when I deliver will be My twin sister and my boyfriend.

Answer 20

first off, congratulations!

have the people you want in the room in the room and i dont think it would be a good idea to have two arguing people in a room while your trying to deliver a baby... maybe you should have your best friend and your husband... and have the other person near by not in the room but somewhere waiting...

best of luck

Answer 21

Based on how many exclamation marks you used I think you are worrying too much about it. Don't let it bother you, you're the one having a baby.

I would suggest to just have just you and your husband in the room and tell someone close to you to talk to both your mother and mother-in-law about growing up and focusing on what's important at this moment.

Answer 22

Seriously, only invite the people you are TOTALLY comfortable with into the room. If you want, let them know their behavior at the wedding has ensured them a spot in the waiting room, and they can bicker there as much as they want! Or, you could take the passive way out (which is totally fine, too), and have it be just you and your hubby.

Answer 23

I think the anticipation and love for the coming baby, and the fact that they both want to be there really bad will cause them to tolerate each other for that time only.

Answer 24

Have who you want in the room, not who you think you should have and if they argue they need to know that they are being anything but supportive, &that its not right for them to do so.

Answer 25

It's your decision who you want in the room - no one else's.  Make up your mind and stick to it.  I wouldn't have anyone in there if I was you.  I've had my MIL for #1 and my mom for #2, with #3 it was just hubby and I - and it was GREAT!  Since this sounds like it's your 1st, I would just have hubby in there with you.  Just make sure he's "trained" to be your labor coach and will be supportive.

Answer 26

First off, most hospitals won't allow but 2 to 3 people in the delivery room when you actually go into labor. Secondly, off all the people who SHOULD be there it should be your husband b/c he should be your coach through it all. As for the moms being in the delivery room...

I know I wouldn't want my mother-in-law in there only b/c it would feel weird for her to see me naked and in all my glory. However, I would want my own mother there b/c she had been through it and could coach me well - plus, she's already seen my body from infancy & it would be nothing new for her. However, if it will cause that much conflict between the two women (sorry, but your mother-in-law seems out of line here), then don't have either and choose your husband and a sibling or best friend to be there.

That's what I'm going to do!