I am 28 years old and constantly in fear of dying. Anyone else going through this? How do I get over it?

Question

I just had my second child 6 weeks ago. 2 weeks after he was born, I got a staph infection on the back of my leg and I totally freaked. They gave me some sulfa antibiotics called Bactrim. 3 days after I took it, I developed an allergic reaction which consisted of a fever, heart palpatations and a bad rash. The staph went away, but the allergic reaction scared the c**p out of me. My doc had to give me steroids and medication for oral thrush because the antibiotics caused it. Now, my liver enzymes are elevated due to all the medications and I have yellow stools and back pain on my right side. I am just scared to death that I have damaged my liver or kidneys with all the nasty medications I had to take. I just feel like I have so much to live for and I don't want to die. I have 2 beautiful children, but can't even enjoy them because I feel so crummy ever since all this has happened. Now, I feel tired and depressed. I cry every day because I think I am going to die from liver failure, kidney failure or get some terrible sickness like meningitis or blood poisoning... it's gotten out of control! I have been to the doctor like 10 times in the past month. They said my blood was good and they did an ultrasound of my kidneys and liver and said everything looked beautiful. So, why am I still waiting for something bad to happen!? Also, I had a seven month old nephew who died of meningitis 8 years ago, so I am freaked about that sickness. Anyone who has any advice for me or can help, I would appreciate it.

Answer 1

I really really think you should talk to your doctor about your depression & anxiety. My friend had major health problems until she had gall-bladder surgery, and needed help to get over the mental effects & the shock of it all. She went through a bad time of being ill & having to think ahead, what's the worst that could happen, what will happen to my children if so, and it all got to her once the immediate danger was over. She took tablets for 3 months and is fine now.  

Answer 2

The 1st thing you need to do is take a deep breathe. In fact take 5.

This will calm your nerves a little.

Then, stop crying. Seriously, I deal with depression all the time without pills..I can totally do it. and trust me, if i can, u can. I tell myself "what the h**l am i worried about? Whatever is going to happen is going to happen without my permission. I could have a good day or bad. Its totally up to me".

So, seriously, the only person that can stop depression/anxiety bad moods, fear, or even your outlook at life is You. And yes, do pray, talk to God regularly. And remember, you might die in 60 or even 80 years... do you really want to spend the rest of your life in fear? Do you want your kids to have a fear of dying also? Because whatever you feel, you transmit that to the children. So, get a hold of yourself. Relax. What's meant to be will happen, whether you want it or not. Might as well have a good attitude.

I hope I've helped.

Take Care.

and email me if i reached you. thanks.

Answer 3

You think of the worst thing that could happen.

You should look on the positive side of things.

Everything we do effects our emotions if you do something you don't really want to do you won't want to be doing it and usually your brain things about negative things.

If however you do something extremely fun and mind taking for you, you will forget all about what's wrong and just think about what fun your having.

When you spend this time having fun when your doing the stuff you do not wish to do just think about the fun you had on that day.

Answer 4

you sound like you have depression.. possibly post partum. the symtoms can include anxiety disorders- fear of death, constant nagging  thoughts that something bad is going to happen to you or someone you love. you are not crazy, but you have been through an awful lot of stress physically and emotionally. its not unexpected that you would develop these fears.. you could also take into account post traumatic stress disorder. Doctors quite often just treat the physical and forget that the brain and hormones are just as badly affected from dramatic illness.. heed my advice and go to a doctor and explain that emotionally you are not recovering and that you need support. your fears are not unfounded, but they are dominating you. if you are having trouble sleeping- or just want to constantly sleep, if your diet is lacking-  or you are constantly eating for comfort, if you are constantly sad or scared, if you feel disconnected from your family.. seek help.. your are far from alone.. and make sure your doctor hears you!! good luck and you are doing so well despite how you feel.. well done:)

Answer 5

I am so sorry to hear what your going through there is no easy way to stop thinking like this until you feel better and start doing the things you used to do so that's a start. try doing some activities and try to think positive you ll be okay and have faith i dont know what your religion is but having a good faith with the Lord never hurt anyone.... So good luck to you, and your family.

Answer 6

You've been cleared by the doctors and your organs are in fine order. But there is something missing. You said "why am I still waiting for something bad to happen?" The real question is, why are you wanting something bad to happen? If all your kiddos are that important to you, you should be thinking positive and looking forward to seeing your kiddos grow. Instead you're being selfish and apparently are more concerned about your health, unless you're suffering from a psychological illness where you think you're sick of every illness known to man. Get more medical help, especially in the area of head shrink and live your live happily.

Answer 7

You've clearly experienced some trauma related to illness and death.  It is completely normal for you to have this reaction and fear of death.

The reality is that yes, you ARE going to die.  Nothing anyone can say here will give you the proper tools to relieve your fear of dying.  Keep doing some research on "relieving fear of death."

You will come to terms with your own mortality.  The sooner you do, the sooner you can start living a fuller life.  Whether you find the answers from religion, spirituality, self-help books, a therapist, friends, or online resources - keep searching until you find what works for you.

Answer 8

Maybe you should try going to Church or reading the Bible.

God will help you though the bad times, and it seems you have it tough right now.

I know when I get down, He is always there.