I am 4 months pregant and I don't want to be with my boyfriend anymore! Is this hormonal or should I leave him

Question

I feel as though my boyfriend is slowing me down, and that I can do just fine raising the baby without him. He barely works, never has any money while I pay for rent and the bills. He says he loves me and that "tomorrow" he will go find work, but something always happens, there is always some excuse that prevents him from getting anything done. I love him, I do..but he just puts me in a bad mood, constantly makes me worry and although I would love for things to work, I don't think they will. Should I stay with him because he is the father of the baby, or should I leave him so I can be happier?

Answer 1

Well, if you do love him, sit him down and talk to him. Explain that you need him to step up, grow up and get a job. You need to be able to depend on him. If he can't step up or isn't willing tell him he will have to go. You have to do what is best for you and your baby. Stress is not good for pregnant women. Good luck. I hope all works out for you.

Answer 2

don't deprive your child of a father but also don't stay with a dead beat give him a timeline on how and when you want things complete let him know they are not up for discussion and you WILL LEAVE  

Answer 3

leave him!  Just because he is the father doesn't mean you have to stay with him!  Especially if he drags you down and basically "sponges" off of you.  If you don't want to completely break it off with him, why not tell him that he needs to shape up, maybe even move out, and you two take a break until he can get his act together.  You deserve to be happy, and provide a happy life for your baby!

Answer 4

You should whatever is in the best interest of your child and your pregnancy. If, emotionally, it would be difficult to leave him, I say wait until you have the baby and just accept that it's not going to change in the mean time. If you think you can leave him without experiencing emotional side effects (emotional side effects cause physiological ones that could risk your babies health and pregnancy, especially this early) then go ahead and leave. If it's not going to work out anyway, its better for both of you to get used to being single parents from the start than have to adjust to it later...

Answer 5

Sit him down and tell him straight up to stop being a bum. Tell him you love him but love doesn't put food on the table. Tell him he has two weeks to get a job or he can sleep on the curb. Then in two weeks if he is still a bum get his stuff and put it outside and have someone else there, preferably a guy friend to tell him to get the **** out and if he wants to see his kid again he needs to be a man and stop being a loser.

Sorry laziness irritates the fire out of me. I have no tolerance for this whole lazy bum welfare crud.  

Answer 6

leave him and file for child support

work and go to school

you'll be fine

Answer 7

While I can't really tell you to stay or go, I would advise you to sit down and have a REAL conversation with him. Does he know just how unhappy you are? I mean, it's one thing to say get a job but to TALK about it in a very productive, meaningful way where he'll understand why you're upset.

I would not, however, recommend staying JUST because of the baby. Children can always sense unhappiness and your baby will typically be unhappy as a result.

I would recommend talking to one another and, if that doesn't work, maybe counseling?  If you really think you want this to work and you really do love one another, counseling can help.

Good luck to you! ~~  

Answer 8

Don't listen to these posters who tell you to become a single mother. Nothing is more difficult and pathetic in this world. Right now you have other options. Later you will not. Now lets examine your problems.

1. When you feel like you're in trouble, your first instinct is to run. That is no longer an option. You're about to have a child. So you must learn to stay and make the best of life. So make the decision now: No more running away. This includes your boyfriend.

2. Your boyfriend is a bum. He needs to get a job.

3. Your principle complaints about him however isn't his lack of work. It's the fact that he "just puts me in a bad mood, constantly makes me worry". While his behavior could clearly use improvement, you must also improve your attitude. If you're going to raise a child, you're going to have to learn to get along with the child's father.

Solutions:

1. Decide now that, like it or not, this man is going to be in your life forever. Wether he's there as a husband or just a sperm donor is half your decision (because you controll access to the child and the family) The other half is his (whether he makes the effort to raise the child and marry you).

2. He needs to start building his career. This means he goes out and gets a job with a future and a track of advancement. Working at the local pizzaria ain't going to cut it.

3. You need to inspire this lunk head that you NEED him to be a father for your (plural) baby. If you treat him as if he's insignificant to the child's future...he will be. You have the ability to influence him towards a better path. Both your families need to be on board with this as well.

4. You need to find out if you LIKE this man you had s*x with. Love is c**p. But LIKE is gold. LIKE doesn't go away, it doesn't get forgotton, and it grows over time. You need to figure out if you LIKE him, then make the decision whether or not to marry him.

5. Consider now only the child's future...not your feelings. If you cannot provide for this child, and a father doesn't appear to be forming in your sperm donor, then you have 1 other option. Adoption. An adoption means that the child could grow up in a happy established 2 parent home. So consider this. If you see your financial situation falling apart (do your homework and figure out your next 3 years of budgets) and your boyfriend quickly leaving, it might be a way to give the child the one thing all mothers should want to give their children: A bright future.

6. Either way, make sure your kid doesn't do anything as completely irresponsible and stupid as what you've just done.

Good luck!

Answer 9

I dont neccessarily think its a good idea WHILE you are pregnant, you should wait and see how you will feel when your hormones are more setteled.  Just a thought.  I dont really know, I have been on the opposite end of that when the guy has left you alone, and it sucks.

Answer 10

Break up with him and tell him you can be together again only when he finds a job. It sounds like he wants to be in the baby's life but doesn't plan on doing anything to support you or the baby.