Question:

I am 5ft1(155cm) female that weights 108 pounds, I really need to know a few good moves for self defence?

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Against a man (this man has been threatning me and he has hit me before, and ive been to the police and they are not helpfull)

if the worst come to the worst, how can i best defend myself?

where is the best place to hit, i have heard that is is NOT a clever idea to kick a man in his balls?,

so if I am being attacked and there is no object i can hit him with, what can i best do?

he is about 5ft10 and weighs about 14 stone.

serious answers only please.

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22 ANSWERS


  1. This is quite a serious thing, however, there are no few good moves for self defence, it all depends on the situation at hand.

    If you feel that no other option is open, think about how he would normally strike. His aim will be going downwards for example and just by raising your arms normally, you should find a way how to prevent this.

    Martial Arts are a great answer for this, however, most are too commercialised, and no longer suit their purpose. For your situation, I would recommend aikido, or ninjutsu, simply because they are perhaps the only martial arts that are still used primarily for combat only.

    Depending on where you live, in the UK, just searching for Ninjutsu <place where you live> on google, should pull up some results as to your nearest instructors.

    It is true, it is not a clever idea to kick a man between the legs. There is no one best place to strike, however, there are a few moves that could get you out of danger. For instance, place your knee on the outside of his (side ways on) and just lean into it.

    If the worst came to worst, and it is kill or be killed, the answer would be a strike that would incapacitate your opponent. For instance, there are two points at the side of the neck, where if pressed, will cause your opponent to lose consciousness. However, this is not good, because if you miss, or don't hold long enough, it will fail. Obtain instruction from a local instructor as soon as possible.

    Do not use books, especially for something that needs precision, as you will need to practise, whatever move you decide to pull, if something happens.

    Height and weight, rarely matters in a fight, it is all about skill, you either have skill or you don't have skill.


  2. I find that quick short snap kicks to the shin, knees, legs will keep a person away from you.

    Your leg is longer than your arm and it hurts to get kicked in any of those spots, so a few short snaps of those and he won't attack so quickly in fact he may go down like a bag of potatoes when his leg buckles.

    Their are a few easy rules to remember with self defense.

    If an opponent cannot SEE they cannot hit you

    if an opponent cannot BREATHE they cannot hit you

    if an opponent cannot STAY ON their feet or a fighting position if in a ground position, you will get pummeled.

    I tend to use my surroundings to my benefit as well. A smaller person is harder to get ahold of if you evade them and make them try to touch you. As Ali said float like a butterfly and sting like a BEE!

    Everyone has the same soft spots on their bodies, that You cannot build muscle up on and hit them in those soft spots lightly and they will also go down, but not too hard or it may be dangerous, like a throat or sternum, or temples for example.

    Pepper spray and tasers are fine but you have to get to them first and cannot take them every where with you. You can take your hands and feet and mind with you every where.

  3. balls then balls again then balls again make him bleed

  4. Eyes,throat,balls a strike in all of these regions can give you a chance to get away.You cannot afford to be squeamish .If you are being attacked thrust fingers or thumbs into eyes or throat as hard as you can.The best defence though is never put yourself in a position where this man can assault you.If you want some serious answers to this.Just try

    www.selfdefencemadeasy.com these guys really know there stuff.

  5. If you can afford it, buy a tazer that shoots.  Also, don't walk around alone, have a friend nearby, and if at all possible, have a friend hide somewhere, and film everything as the man harasses you.  If you have actual video evidence that may be enough for the cops to go by something because without hard evidence they can't do anything.

    If you can film him in the act, that would go a long way.

    A guy I knew protected himself from a false accusation of rape by presenting to the police a video of him and the girl doing it.  Her accusation carried little weight, because in the video she was screaming "oh yeah!!  F***  me!!!  F**** harder !!!!!!!"

    Video tapes work man; it can protect guys against false rape accusations, and it can protect you against some ****hole.

    It worked for that guy I knew, it should work for you.

  6. (firstly, what the h**l?! can i repeat - WHAT THE h**l...Its strange its come to this point - and police can do nothing about it? weird question...)

    ANYWAYS,

    1. An Elbow to head - fake punch, follow through with elbow (same arm you punched with) -> can REALLY hurt, especially if done with force and at close range... good against short men like ur friend.

    *u may also direct elbow upwards into chin. (with force, can certainly crack teeth)

    2.'Side' Punch to head - aim your knuckles forward; any joint in your body is a good weapon

    3.'Knee' to groin - hold one shoulder of man with both hands, then swing in knee deep into groin/stomach;

    *u may wanna follow up with an elbow to head

    4. BACK KICK - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63M3QrYtG... (to face/stomach/balls - as you please) - ONLY do this once u've learn it properly and are confident enough.

    5.Scratch across face - (sorry not so manly, but u shudnt mind) - good to first blind, then perhaps knee, then elbow

    *advantage: least technique sensitive

    And on a serious note: practice on a punch bag with the most maximum force ur body can juice out...

    I think thats about the most effective stuff u can do with the hardest parts of ur untrained body...

    Hope ur physical relationship works out.. i think.

  7. Go on you tube and type in self defence, there are load of videos on there and some are good, you will just have to check a few different ones out. Better still look for local self defence classes and then you will have a teacher to tell you if you are doing the moves correctly, and you will have people to practice on. Probably best to get a personal attack alarm and carry it with you at all times as well.

  8. you wont be able to get any "quick" self defense moves but you are female and you could become friends with a guy who is stronger than this man who is harrassing you.

    the best martial art for self defense to learn is Brazilian Jiu Jitsu.

    buy this self defense book:

    http://www.amazon.co.uk/Brazilian-Jiu-Ji...

  9. You already have some really good answers, but let me toss in my two yen.

    First, learn to avoid trouble where you can, but you should not let this guy control your life.  I have read a lot in the London papers lately about people being killed by attackers and the Mayor encouraging people to not get involved.  This means you need to be able to take care of yourself.

    If you were in the states I would say get a gun and a carry permit, take a class and get comfortable.  Nothing equalizes the playing field like a firearm.  Barring that look for a good self defense class.  I don't mean a one hour workshop, but serious, ongoing, training class.  Sign up and devote time to becomming proficient.

    In the mean time, use the advice you received about choosing your attacks.  Good defense is smart defense, not trying to out muscle the guy.

    Attack critical areas.  Attackers have an agenda, they aer not looking for you to fight back.  Rearrange his priorities.  Jab a finger in his eye, deep.  Clap your hand hard across the ear drum (both if opportunity presents itself), hit the throat or diaphram.  Can't see, Can't hear or balance, Can't breathe = Not worried about you.

    Good secondary targets include the collar bone, or the knee.  In some cases the grouin can be a good target, but all guys are taught from a young age to protect the groin and those seriously intent on hurting others sometimes wear protection.

    I train in self-defense, seriously.  Our group includes a number of women, teens, and even some men your size and smaller including me.  We often train with the guys in our class who are 6' and taller.  With the right training, your size can be an advantage.

  10. Stay away from this guy at every opportunity. Avoid situations where you are alone and have a group of friends with you when you go out.

    File a formal complaint to the police and tell them that you feel physically threatened by this man. It's on record then if you have to deal with him, you'll have something to go by if it goes to court.

    Try to resolve this issue by speaking with him, hopefully it'll diffuse the situation.

    Don't act like a victim, if he sees you are scared, he'll prey on that.

    If you do come across him and there's no opportunity to escape it's best to keep distance. If possible, keep obstacles such as bins, lamposts, cars, furniture etc in between you and him and make as much noise as possible. Throw whatever objects are at hand to keep him away. This will hopefully alert people causing them to either intervene or at least call the police.  

    If he manages to get close, you can drive your thumb into his throat where the little v is or again go for the eyes. Target the soft parts of the body. Slap him hard on the ears, that really hurts but you can risk bursting his eardrum. But if you feel your life is threatened, I'd consider that reasonable force in the act of self defence. You can also drive a finger or knuckle into the area behind the ear where it meets the jaw, this hurts like h**l.

    Again if he's in close rather then trying to punch with your fists, use your elbows.

    If he has hold of you from behind, drive your heel down against his shin in a grating motion (v effective if you're wearing heels). Try pinching the fleshy inside of his thigh (or groin area). Don't pinch by using the tips of the thumb and forefinger but by making a fist and grab the flesh between your fist and thumb (like when you text on a mobile or like when you're holding a games controller). If he has hold of you from behind throw your head back and try to headbutt him. Target small joints like fingers and twist them or pull the m back. If he has you in a bear hug, dig in and rub your knuckles (making a fist) against the back of his hand.

    Don't attempt to bite or draw blood as this puts you at risk of any potential disease that he could have. Furthermore try and avoid him biting for the same reason.

    At the first opportunity to escape, do so.

    Hope this helps.

  11. If he is a 5'10'' and 14 stone man who has been threatening you, then I say its a GOOD idea to kick him in the balls.

  12. It sounds like you are British, so unfortunately, a handgun permit is out.

    There are not a lot of "sure-fire" techniques that a woman your size can use against a man that size, but there are certainly many things you can do to temporarily create space and give yourself room to get away from him. Carry a hat pin and learn where ALL the tender spots are on a human being. Also, start carrying a whistle, so that if this creep tries to come after you, you can instantly make a lot of noise and draw a lot of attention to yourself. Some wrestling/grappling training would be useful--if you practice moving and shrugging out from under larger people, it will give you a big advantage at getting away and also at finding places to jab him.

    But I seriously recommend you get some one-to-one consultation from a very well trained, knowledgeable self defense expert. And do a little research before you decide who to consult with. The single most important thing you can do is make sure you are practicing good judgment. Don't let him get you in a place where you couldn't easily attract a lot of attention to yourself quickly. Don't let him into your flat late at night, just to talk about things. Don't let him take you for a drive. Make sure you are aware of where you are and what is present in your surrounding environment.

    Also, you need to keep pursuing this legally, if he is actually threatening you. You may have dealt with one or two individual law officers who behaved in a neglectful, unprofessional manner and failed to take your situation seriously, but you need to understand that you live in a nation of laws and do not have to tolerate terrorist threatening from another individual. Consult with a lawyer and don't let the cops ignore their legal responsibilities to protect and serve.

  13. Blow to the throat or face, and then RUN!  Unless you're very strong, you're not going to take down the guy unless you have a weapon or extensive martial arts skill.

    Sensitive points such as eyes, ears, balls, abdomen.

  14. Hi Tabitha

    A personal attack alarm, they're cheap and one that continues to go off when dropped too.  Screaming into the ears & slapping with cupped hands to disorientate your adversary.  As mentioned, vulnerable areas: Testicals, throat, eyes.  Heel of your palm to the chin area adding pressure to the cervical vertabrae.  There are a variety of "tips" to give you 'time'.  Depending on your environment, you can use this to your advantage also.

    Bear in mind most times the object is to gain time to escape to safety.  As also mentioned, true prevention is to learn how to avoid situations like this, IF POSSIBLE?!  

    I have done Self-Defence Workshops and be happy to send you more info, a long list I can email you.  Simply email: info@internalgate.co.uk

    There's good advice from the comments above re: going down the law avenue, getting personal tuition and learning not to 'be there', if possible!  Also, safety in numbers Tabitha.  If you know when you will be near this person, try to remain in a group.

    Keep the Faith

    Ade Finch ~ Founder

    The Way Of The Internal Gate

    www.internalgate.co.uk

  15. if you can avoid him....

    however you cannot, and he is facing you

    relaze that one strike, punch or kick will only anger him more.

    therefore you either need to attack once, and run like the wind or....

    Or attack, attack and attack more.

    Attack knee to his groin, followed with an upper cut under his chin, or elbow to his throat,  left cross, right cross, and kick to the side of his (outside//inside) and then run...

    fast, accurate, fast , fast , fast

    if he comes from behind, you might be able to flip him, if not, bring your chin down, and bit anywhere you can.

  16. Hitting a guy there will only irrate him.  I know after they get over the first hit they cant feel anything.  I recommened some basic karate instructions as it is a good martial art an you dont have to go if you dont want to be advanced, there are also defense videos on youtube.

  17. AT, I hope you reported your work colleagues behaviour.

    Yelling Fire is the best bet to get attention and if you see people ask someone in particular for help, and make eye contact, rather than just asking the people in general. Without the personal contact people will leave it for someone else to deal with.

    A hit on the balls will slow most men, there are some it will only annoy, but it is still a good bet.

    Thumbs in the eyes.

    Knuckle, swinging to hit with the thumb knuckle might work better for you than knuckle of fingers, into the neck towards rear of the windpipe

    Slapping ears with a slightly cupped hand, this can increase the air pressure and burst the ear drum.

    Keep attacking until you have the chance to escape. One of the main problems people have when attacked is they are not willing to be violent (yes it sounds stupid) but you have to prepare mentally to have the state of mind where you are willing to risk killing someone, you cannot have any regard for the other person until you are safe. When attacked people will also encounter a large adrenalin surge that may cause your body to not react, unfortunately the only way to know if this will happen and overcome it i to go through it.

  18. What a scumbag. Do you know any other men who can protect you. Go for the balls. Some  good answers above.

  19. in the stomache...

  20. Sure he may react to your groin strike but he would react to any strike.  The groin, eyes, and any vital area you can get to first is good.  If this situation escalates then at least a groin strike may prevent a rape etc.  If you have nails, make sure you scratch him enough to get some good DNA and perhaps leave a descriptive mark.  Keep mace on hand.

    BUT, with all that said...the bottom line is not to be where he is and if you are out in a non-public area you might want to have a friend with you.  The best defense is not to be there so either avoid his areas or run.

    Think about what factors has engaged him to be like this and try to solve this from the root of the problem.  

    Keep a log of all events in case this ever goes to court or you have to explain it to the police.  You want to be objective with facts to back you up.  Time of events, location, by phone or  at a grocery store or.... what was said etc... you get the idea.

    good luck!

  21. There are alot of different places online that you can learn different tecniques. The Karatesize site has video lessons, but it's for exercise. Your best bet is to have some real world training at a Dojo for self defense. Good Luck !!

  22. Depends on the level of aggression you are faced with, here are a few things that are effective, but bear in mind, that I am NOT saying that you should do these things, only that they are possible, I have no desire to face a court charge for encouraging, or for causing damage to another person, so here goes, ( and bear in mind that I know that these work, as a former mercenary I have used many of them, and they can even kill as well as disable, so be careful !!!),

    The first thing that you need to do, is not to get yourself in a situation where you are unable to escape, always look for the way out FIRST, this is not cowardly, it is common sense.....

         Also do not get left alone with this person, anyway.....

    Do not get your arms or legs trapped, it is very difficult to actually hurt a person, who you can not hold, it only leaves the option of impact or blows for an aggressor, these can be countered, far more easily than many people realise......

         The first option, is to force your hands flat against someones chest pushing them off balance, a sudden push against the upper part of a persons chest ( above the heart area, )often knocks them over, use a shout at the same time, a LOUD, "NO" ! may be enough, but here is a possible way of really hurting someone, if you feel strongly about the situation, if you hit them with a clenched fist, ON the heart, you can kill, if the heartbeat is at, or near, a maximum pumping position, it will go into spasm and a heart attack will follow, a series of blows, rapidly applied by a small fist ( such as a womans) is best, as it allows the heart to be at some stage near this position.....

         Stage two, is to use the heel of the hand, and force it into the offenders chin, at speed, forcing the chin upwards, this has two effects, the first is that you force a person off balance, suddenly, the second, is that you open the throat area, for attack, and this can be done in two ways, firstly, the hand is used ( in an open fashion , thumb wide, to make a "V" shape of the hand, ) this is jammed, at speed, into the adams apple, the second is a straightforward punch, (closed fist), this can damage the windpipe and incapacitate the breathing, giving you time to escape, it can also kill if you hit hard enough, by crushing the adams apple,  if done fast enough.....

         You can also use the heel of your hand to drive in to a persons nose, (from underneath, and upwards) if done fast enough, this can splinter a bone, and drive it into the brain, thus killing a person.....

         If you can not make these moves, then you can try for the ears, simply cup your hands over (like you are holding an orange in it ) and slap it over his ears, done at speed this can rupture an eardrum, done on both sides at the same time, it can kill, from shock......

         The lower abdomen. is another good area to hurt a man, a swift punch "below the belt" will make it almost impossible to breathe, for a moment or two, allowing you to pick the next target area, for a blow.....

    The testicles being an obvious choice !!!.....

    The eyes are easily attacked, and very vulnerable to damage, the effect is that of squashing a grape, if done right, forcing a thumb, rather than a finger into the eye socket, can blind, in the short term, and even eject the eyeball if needed.....

        

         These are "last minute" survival methods, you can also use force on a person that is short of this level, the simplest method of incapacitating some one, is to use your heel, and drive it into their knee, (from the side), thus dislocating them.

         The rules of this game, (and professional violence is a game, despite what many think), are as follows,

         1. If they can not stand, they can not fight....

         2. if they can not breathe, they can not fight.....

         3. If they can not see they can not fight.....



         All arguements to the contrary, if you are in a fight with an opponent, you can not be a "little woman", you fight because YOU have a right of self defense, but that "right" is only meaningful when you can enforce it, and you will find, that there is never a Policeman around when you need one, so to return to the start, do not get left alone, with this person, and learn to shout, if you are, someone may just and come to your aid if they hear it, but do not waste your time shouting "RAPE", however loud, people will only come to watch for "entertainment"  What you need to shout , LOUD, AND OFTEN, is the word FIRE, FIRE , FIRE..... if you do not believe me, I will say that I was in a staffroom in Newcastle, once, on a second floor, when I heard a commotion, and went to see what was happening, I found several members of the male staff, leaning out of the windows, while a woman below was screaming and being raped, in a back alley, the "men" in question were cheering the rapist on......

           On another occassion, a young girl, after an arguement with her boyfriend, was dumped at a bus stop, in the centre of Newcastle again, in front of a Resteraunts main window, she was attacked by three men, in plain view of the diners, in the early part of the evening, forced to perform oral s*x, raped, and sodomised, and nobody went to her aid, this was my sisters daughter....

        

         I found out that they were caught and when they went to court, she was too frightened to testify, they received, a sentence that allowed them to go free after just two years...the sentence was not for rape, but for having s*x with a minor, in the meantime, she was abused by her schoolfriends, because a teacher, took a decision, she had no right to make, and told everybody that this had happened, they went on to describe her as every sort of tramp, and slag, they could drag up a name for....from being a gifted student she left school, and now has to face every day alone, because she can not trust any man again, she was just fifteen, and it had been her birthday when all this happened.....

         So when you think about all of this, then you should realise that this violence, is in most peoples souls, do not feel that you should hold back, in any way at all, it is far better, in the worst case, to find yourself, "walking" into a court to defend your actions, than being wheeled in , or even referred to as "Exhibit 1" becasuse you are no longer around, most people, in my opinion, are rotten and selfish by the nature of the beast, do not feel that hurting someone is "not fair, or proper" a little woman, in a witness box, in tears, will win many hearts over, the likelihood, of this even going to trial is small, and a conviction even less, so if it starts, YOU finish it.........

         And as a last thing, to be good at violence takes practise, you should try to imagine scenarios wher it happens to you, and imagine what you would do before it happens, this will help you to react, faster, and without any thought about the right or wrong, of what you are doing, consciense is a terrible thing to have when you are at war ! try to practise with an imaginary opponent, practise practise practise, ....

        

         The last area you should consider, is an area of the martial arts, known as "chet c'mau" (black heart), it is an obscure form of behaviour, Cambodian in origin, that will make you, your own best chance of survival, it is hard to get this information, even from those who practise it, but it is akin to the feeling known as  a "red rage", it will not affect your normal life to practise it, but you can use it in these circumstances, despite all I have said, I am not a person who hates humanity, just one who knows them....

         But always remember the the best form of defence available to you, that is running away, take off your high heels and use them as a weapon, throw them, use them as a club, or do not wear them, and then turn and flee......"s/he who fights, and runs away, will live to fight another day".....

         As a final word, and this is really the last I have to say, today, HOODIES, are the easiest type of thug to deal with, just grab the hood, either at the side, or top, and pull it over their eyes, haul back and swing them around from side to side, while you punch the living daylights out of their ears or lower body, (try an experiment with a friend), ask them to remain rigid, and resist your push by hand, then push them sideways, they will almost certainly fall over if you push hard enough against the direction force is least expected from, i.e. the side. it also works on hoodies who can not see, they expect the force to come from the front, it is just instinctive in people, that is why the use of the hood died out, in Robin Hoods day, because it puts the user at risk....why people do not understand this is beyond me.... best of luck, against this creep, and practise, practise, practise.......

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