I am 7 weeks andf thining strongly of putting the aby up for adoption?

Question

Where can i get started

Answer 1

Jessica3 is speaking from her heart, listen to her, and listen to God. Pray about this long and hard. All this baby needs is you, you are enough. Your smell your touch is all it needs. But if you need help, look to your family, so your baby will not be gone forever. Six months down the road, when your feeling more confident, you can have a second chance, but not if you give it over to strangers.

Answer 2

It's still early.  You said you're still thinking about it.  Give yourself time to think about this, as it's a huge thing to give up your baby.  There's no turning back, so you want to be 100% sure that this is what you want to do.  

Whatever you do, steer clear of people on here or elsewhere on the Internet who say they'll adopt your baby.  They DO NOT have your best interests in mind.

Sadly, there are those who are under the impression that a young woman who gives up her baby is "giving a gift" or garbage like that.  It's a huge loss for everyone, and I don't think they realize it's not about making someone else a parent.

Answer 3

www.itsaboutlove.org

This agency is religious based, and allows you to pick the adoptive couple as well as an open agreement if you wish. What country are you in?

Good for you! I second that you are making a good choice over abortion. Make sure that you get some counselling- the above website is an agency that will provide all this as well- take it! You will need emotional support through this. I hope that you find the couple that matches what you are looking for.

(P.S. If you haven't already noticed, this Y!A section is full of very passionate people on the subject of adoption. You are going to get answers that are on each end of the adoption opinion extreme)

Answer 4

It's still way to early to start working with an adoption agency. My son's adoption agency will not start working with a first mom until 4-5 months into the pregnancy or even longer. I would continue to go to all your doctor's appointments and keep yourself and your baby healthy. You can go ahead and contact a local crisis pregnancy center. They can give you more information on parenting and adoption and eventually set you up with an adoption agency.

Answer 5

Please think long and hard before you do anything. It sounds easy, let's put the baby up for adoption, I'll live my life and the baby will go to loving parents. Well, it doesn't work that way, you will live your life and think about your baby every birthday and cry. Where is my baby, is she safe. It's a hard decision to live with. the only thing that helped me was reunion. I went 30 years of not knowing where my baby was. It was heart breaking.

Answer 6

I am adopted, and want to share something with you.  

My birth parents were young when I was born and, thinking they were too young to raise me, gave me up for adoption.  The thing I want to share with you is that neither one of them had any more children after me.  Even though they tried and wanted to very much, it just didn't happen for them.

Think about it, this is your baby and you may not get a second chance.

Answer 7

Contact a local reputable adoption agency in your area.  They will be able to discuss your options with you.  We used Adoptions from the Heart.  You can check out their website at www.adoptionsfromtheheart.org.  

Good luck to you.

Answer 8

You can look up adoption places in the yellow pages or contact your church or local hospital.  A lot of adoption places have after care for the birth Mom even if they change their minds and keep the baby. I am a parent through adoption and I think you for your self sacrifice and gift of love.

Answer 9

Hi- I'm a birthmom.  As you can see, people get pretty heated about this.  

Please email me through my account details if you'd like to talk about my story and what I've gone through.  I'm not comfortable sharing today, in the midst of such an anti-adoption group, but I'd be happy to talk with you privately.  

Hang in there~

~Sarah

Answer 10

Nicky-  I respect you for not wanting to abort your baby- and give your child life- I would suggest looking up adoption agencies in your phone book- also there are adoption attorneys as well- today you will have a the chance to select the family that you child goes too- and also have an open adoption is you choose that,  I just have to say one more thing- I am appalled at the number of answers that have received thumbs down, because they were pleased that you were considering placing for adoption rather than aborting= do not let them influence you in any way- God bless you

Answer 11

Please ignore the idiots.  Saying you can't have s*x unless you expect to get pregnant is like saying you can't get a driver's license unless you intend to get into a car wreck.

And educate yourself about ALL your options in a better place than this.  Good luck.

Answer 12

Hi Nicky...

You haven't mentioned the reasons why you might want to give your baby up.  What's going on in your life that you feel you can't parent?  

I'm saddened by so many of the extreme answers I'm seeing posted to your question.  Some people have horrible life experiences from having STAYED with birth parents and some having been ADOPTED.  Some have wonderful adoption experiences and some horrible.  There are no guarantees.

You have some time to really consider what's right for you, the birthfather, and your baby.  Don't let ANYONE sway you either way.  It may help if you could go to a counselor - but go to someone who's independent.  Not one associated with agencies or doctors or hospitals - someone who you feel can be independent.  

Good luck.. and if you believe in God, pray.

Answer 13

As an adoptee - I hope you reconsider.

I've lived adoption for 38 years - and although I love my adoptive fam very much - I've missed my bio mum - and my father that she went on to marry 6 months after my birth - and my 3 full siblings - every day of my life.

And my bio mum is an emotional mess from being made to give me away because her mother sent her away and told her - 'Do not come back with that baby'.

I wasn't allowed to grow up around those that look, act and think as I do.

That equates to a whole heap of self worth, rejection and self identity issues.

Adoption is a long term solution to and often short term problem.

Do NOT commit to anything until you've had this child.

This child is yours - and no one should try to talk you out of parenting - they should at least let you try.

Be aware that most adoption agencies and PAP's (prospective adoptive parents) will tell you whatever you want to hear - as they just want your baby - or the money from getting that baby. (not all - but too often they do NOT have your best interests - or that of your child - at heart)

If you require help & support in keeping your child - please email me through my profile.

I wish you and your babe all the very best.

Answer 14

For Goodness sake this is NOT The place to discuss this you will get launched on by vultures trying to maneuver you to take the baby. You need to think long and hard before doing this

This isnt a puppy.. You will regret it for the rest of your life

How old are you?

ETA Quote there are so many deserving parents that deserve a child  Unqoute

- UM YEAH This unborn baby DESERVES Its MOTHER!!!!! and this Mother deserves * HER * Unborn Baby

Thats right HER BABY

Honestly its like watching a bunch of vultures picking over a carcass

Answer 15

thats awesome what you are doing.

I have been trying to get pregnant for nearly 5 years and I will tell you.. everyone in my situation would thank you for not ending this babies life and doing the mature and responsible thing.

Answer 16

Oh my gosh I have never seen such disgusting answers!  Please ignore them.  They are usually posted by people who can't get pregnant at all and are pathologically jealous of you.

Before you consider adoption seriously, please read about the experiences of women who have given their children up for adoption.  They share many valuable lessons that they learned in the process.  Many of their lessons are about how the adoption industry exploited them as mothers of their children and used "open" adoption as a lure to get them to give their children up.  Be especially wary of open adoption promises, most of the time they are lies to entice you to sign over your child.

I recommend that you read this article that talks about your rights as a natural mother:

http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

Good luck and bless you.

Edited to add:  Please also do ignore the advertising for the commercial adoption industry that are planted in some answers.  I think that a lot of people who do that are getting kick backs.  People make a lot of money off adoption so never, ever trust advertisements on Y!A.  They are illegal.

Answer 17

I'm so sorry you are getting revolting comments about your unplanned pregnancy.  It can happen to anyone

Here's some information from birthmothers, some things that the agencies with waiting customers might omit to tell you.  Your decisions are for you and for your baby, you don;t need to be dealing with people's sob stories about how they must have a baby now, that's not your problem and you don't need the additional burden of worrying about other people's wants and needs right now.

I hope you read this.  Take care of yourself.

http://www.cubirthparents.org/booklet.pd...

Answer 18

Hun, listen im not here to tell you what to do, and neither is anyone else ... your only 7 weeks, you still have months to go ... give it some time and think about it ... you may not want the baby right now but give it time and think about it ... do you think that you can support yourself and your baby? ... If so then right there is a good reason to keep the baby ... when you finally have the baby you will relize that you want your baby and it might be to late by then ... so please just take some time to think about it ... if you need help or want someone to talk to about all this or anything else ... my email is [e-mail]    you can message me if you want ...

Good Luck and Best Wishes ...

Answer 19

I'm a birthmother, if you'd like to email me, feel free.  My yahoo email is mizgeministarz.  If you just want to know more about the process or what I felt, went through, how it is now, I'll answer you totally honestly.  My daughter is 7 years old now.  I have a semi-open adoption.  I get emails, photos, videos, once every couple years a visit.  The most important thing is that you make the right decision for you and if you don't 100% feel right about placing, then don't do it.  I am/was very happy with my decision. Having said that: I used Friends in Adoption to find my daughters adoptive parents and was so happy with this agency.  I didn't feel pressured at all.  What state do you live in?  If you email me I can find the adoption laws in your state.  Some states allow for the adoptive parents to pay some expenses incurred by the pregnancy (good faith donations)  Things like maternity clothes, doctors appointments and hospital bills are allowed in almost all states.  Were you thinking about have an open adoption, semi-open, closed?  Are you a religious person?  (I only ask because some agencies are religion based, the one I used wasn't though)  Shoot me an email and I can get you started if you'd like.  In the mean time, here's the Friends in Adoption website, you can look at family profiles if you'd like, too.

Answer 20

I hope you are a strong person because it is going to take a strong person to live with the guilt and worry. I am a nmom who spent 28 years living that h**l, and it was my decision to relinquish. I was not forced. Do lots of research, and talk to the father, you have not mentioned where he stands. He has rights you know. I'm not trying to sway your opinion, just want you to know that what ever you choose it's going to be a long hard road. Good Luck

Answer 21

Hi and (((((((((HUGS))))))!

Kudos to you for considering the loving, nurturing and wonderful choice of adoption! :)  It shows what an awesome person you are! You are a hero!!! :)

First of all, ignore the rude comments people have already posted. I'm sorry that some people are so mean :( Uggh.

One good thing to start with is to call a pregnancy hotline - they will help you with this decision and provide a comforting, non-judgmental ear.  One is 1-800-592-4725. - They "want to hold your hand, hug your neck, and let you know you are not alone."  Another one is [phone] - open 24 hrs - sorry its not toll free, but if you ask them to call you back, I think they will do that.  Both of these places can provide housing, support, living expenses,  and much more for you.

Remember you do have the option of "open adoption" - meaning you can get photos, letters, etc. and sometimes meet the child every so often.  It's up to you.

I just want to THANK-YOU for considering this choice!!!  I know you will get alot of negative comments, please ignore them.  There are alot of people on this site that are overcoming issues and tend to be very rude - please don't let their hostility affect you making such a loving choice of adoption!

NOTE to Grapesgum - I do not work for the adoption agency, nor do I profit by sharing info on adoption agencies.  I am a stay-at-home mom and and former social worker and just want to help her out.  Adoption is one of her options and I want to give her the best help possible.  Also, I must add that the adoption industry is NOT a money-making business - TRUST me! Most adoption caseworkers survive on entry-level pay, some even are at the poverty level.  They work to help others.

(((HUGS))))!!!!!!! :) :) :)

Answer 22

"I am 7 weeks andf thining strongly of putting the aby up for adoption?"

Sucks to be the baby...

Here you go another child for sale. ohhh a baby that won't last long... In demand...

Get it while it's hot!

Answer 23

I just wanted to say that you even just thinking about adoption makes me so proud of you. There are somany deserving parents out there who deserve a child. Parents who can't have their children. Mothers without babies. So whether or not you go through with it, I just wanted to say thank you for being so thoughtful and so wise.

Answer 24

Best of luck to you hon.

You're only 7 weeks along, so it's okay for your decision to be to not make a decision right now.  You need to look hard at all of your options.  Enlist the support of family, friends, and (if appropriate) the baby's father.  You can talk to counselors about adoption, who will explain all of your options so that you can make an informed decision.  Ask questions.  Ask more questions.  Going to talk to an agency or an adoption counselor doesn't mean you HAVE to choose adoption or even choose that agency.  

I'm not going to say that yes, you should keep and parent this child or yes, you should make an adoption plan for your child.  This is a very personal decision and nobody can tell you what to do.  

There are a lot of anti-adoption people here who will tell you that adoption is always the worst option, and that it's preferable to have an abortion, rather than adopt.

I would like to point out that the people who think that abortion is better than adoption, obviously have never been aborted!

Take your time, look at all your options and don't be rushed or pressured into making a decision right now.  

Good luck!

Answer 25

I think that is really wonderful... instead of going to a clinic and having the baby killed you are doing the mature thing and realizing that you are not capable of having a baby at this point in your life and you are doing the responsible thing and looking for an adoptive family. good job! don't listen to the negative a*holes in here... sometimes accidents happen, and they dont know your story so they cannot judge you. You should first and foremost seek out medical care, and perhaps you can call a pregnancy hotline, they'd have more information on adoption agencies. good luck! I'm really proud of you for doing the right thing!

Answer 26

i am for and against i was put up for adoption when i was 9 months old... my birth mom had me for 9 months then decided she didnt want to do it anymore... i have the most amazing adoptive parents in the world and i have a 6 year old and one on the way and no matter how hard it is i could not imagine giving one of them up... i have recently found my birth mom and my brother and sisters and i have been sooo blessed but i grew up wondering what i did wrong and why she didnt want me.... i know how lucky i was but it still doesnt take away everything i thought and felt while i was growing up.... god doesnt hand you anything you cant handle have faith and take some time to really think about this..... good luck and  dont look at having a baby as a hard thing... anything that is worth working for is worth having... god bless

Answer 27

You’re not that far into your pregnancy. For that reason I would put this out of your mind in till you’re at least 5 or 6 months with child. After this time I would advice getting some counseling but not someone connected to the adoption industry, some place like planned parenthood. Let this person counsel you as well as help you look at all your options. If you do decide on adoption they can help you find a good agency. You wouldn’t even be able to place you baby for adoption till its born. To safe yourself any guilt of maybe changing your mind and saving potential adoptive parents heartache as well. You might consider placing the baby in temporary foster care for 2 or 3 weeks. Then  if you still want to place the baby for adoption you can find an agency that will find a suitable family for the baby.

Don’t listen to anyone who is telling you to kill your baby.

Answer 28

with all due respect, if you didn't want to get pregnant, then you shouldn't have had s*x in the first place. play adult games and you get adult prizes!!

I'd be happy to adopt your baby for you. good luck!!

Answer 29

Wow... this IS definitely an anti-adoption crew we have here. All the answers supporting adoption have been given so many thumbs down they're actually hidden due to it's low rating (we're talking 15 or so answers).

Anyway, that's not what I wanted to talk about. As someone who someday will eventually depend on adoption to add to my family  (not anytime soon, I'm not "trolling" as some people have accused others of doing on here)  I do want to say that there are many people out there who can provide a good home for your child.

That being said, you really, really need think this over. Your first place to start is by talking to your family and the father and discuss all of your feelings with them. If you still think that adoption is a good option for you, then you can go and talk to a couple of adoption agencies and they can give you more information to help you make a decision. Most agencies won't even start thinking about trying to place a child until the mother is at least in her second trimester, so you have plenty of time to think it over. The important thing is to get yourself as much information as possible. Talk to adopters, adoptees, people who have given their children up for adoption and get their stories. Weigh the pros and cons of open and closed adoptions.

Good luck and just try to make the decision that's right for you and your baby.

Answer 30

You can also do INDEPENDENT adoption which is where you find someone you want to adopt the baby and that couple gets a lawyer to facilitate paperwork and the legal issues for the adoption. You will get more say that way in the adoption as to who is adopting the child than you will with an agency. Independent adoptions can be done as open, semi open or even closed if you want with the family that will be chosen.

Answer 31

Hey N!cky

Wow, I can’t believe how many people are telling you how wonderful it is to give your son or daughter to someone else. It always blows my mind when I see people who have never lost a child to adoption telling a young woman that this is a good, great, "wonderful" decision! And it really pisses me off.

I noticed on your profile you say that you love your wonderful friends and family – that’s great – and that’s where I would encourage you to start. Bringing a baby into the world is a big deal and you’ll need support from people who care about you.

Agencies make money by placing children in homes through adoption, they don’t make money if you decide to parent; don’t trust agency workers! They’ll tell you how wonderful and brave and selfless you are to give your baby away because they want your baby.

Open adoptions are not legally enforceable. Picking a couple to raise your child may make you feel like you have some control over your child’s life – but you won’t. They can smile and say all of the nice things in the world to you, and the minute the adoption is finalized, they can close the door on it and you will have no legal recourse whatsoever. You may never be able to see you child again.

Private adoptions are the worst – that is how I lost my son to adoption. They are illegal in many countries.

If you really aren’t ABLE to parent, keeping your child in the family through kinship adoption or guardianship is something to seriously consider. Giving your son or daughter to strangers to raise should be the last resort.

If I could go back to the moment I first realized I was pregnant I would change things this way. Instead of worrying, I would have enjoyed my pregnancy, enjoyed feeling my son grow inside me and with me. I would have celebrated my new role as a mother. I would have pressed my family to support me. I would have gone through the pregnancy, given birth and given parenting a shot.

You and your baby deserve to have time together once you give birth. You need to be able to hold your child and look into his or her eyes before you decide that you simply don’t want to parent.

I cannot recommend placing your child for adoption; there is so much grief. I realized a year or two after surrendering I could have parented just fine. I realized that in losing my baby I lost a piece of myself, I lost part of my family.

There are state and federal government programs out there where you can get assistance. If you want me to look up some links for you email me, I’ll be happy to help you.

Best of luck.