I am a 17 year old mom of a 2 year old she was a sweet one year old now it's a total 360* SHE IS VERY ANGRY?

Question

I have a little brother that is out of control and we live in the same house at first I had her under control when she tried to be like her uncle it was easily corrected now she screams and yells at me and every one else when she doesn't get her way I think I sort of caused the screaming problem because sometimes I get frustrated because I have no help and it is sometimes over whelming If I spank here she yells and says stop whooping me and she is very moody I think we need to get our own place so there wont be any influences and I need to learn how to stop yelling and also my mother yells and curses alot and she starts to cry if any one argues around her.How to I get my baby back and stop her from being so emotional and get her temper under control.When I was younger I always said if I had a baby I wouldn't spank them and I fell so bad I just dint know what to do help

Answer 1

There is nothing wrong with spanking a child.  sometimes the screaming and yelling at a child causes more scars emotionally than any spanking ever will.  they don't call the the terrible two's for nothing.  I have the same problem now, as did I with my six year old.  If you don't want the negative influences from family members, it would be best to get your own place which I know can be very difficult for anyone especially a 17 yo single mom.  I raised my oldest by myself for the first 3 years and met a wonderful man who is a great husband and a wonderful father to BOTH of my children.  Hang in there, your baby will calm down soon, although it seems it Will never end.  And remember, if you don't take control of her now, she will run all over you when she gets older, you are the boss, no matter how much it hurts you to punish her she will love you and respect you more when she gets older although it doesn't seem like it now.  Good luck and God Bless!!

Answer 2

You need to move out of that house.  There are agencies that will help you.  Apply for housing assistance.  Yes, a smack on the butt works wonders, but only in good homes.  

Your daughter is also going through the terrible twos.  You really do need to smack her butt now and then.

Take daddy's butt to court for child support.

Edit: Spanking worked very well for the last few centuries.  The Amish have very few problems with their kids acting up.  As far as spanking on a diapered butt...of course it's funny...it doesn't hurt and is very ineffective.  Smack their little hands when they are wearing a diaper.

Now we have kids whose parents refused to spank disrespecting authority.  Yes, it's true.  I taught Sunday School for a few years and always knew which kids got spanked at home.  Those were my well behaved kids.  The parents would even tell me they got spanked at home when needed.  Not often, but when the situation called for it, they got one.

Edit: I would also like to encourage you, once you have this under control, about talking to teenagers about saving yourself for marriage.  You would be a good one to help them understand why premarital s*x is such a bad idea.

Answer 3

Best way is to ignore her bad temper, and quiet spanking her since it has no more affect on her. She no longer sees it as a punishment. Just as a threat, and she retorts back by yelling at you, and i wouldn't be surprised if she started hitting other people for doing something she didn't like. Try time out instead. If she has a tamp trump. You tell her to sit in a conner facing it. In tell she learn to act right. Make sure its in another room. So she can't get any attention, because she knows if she screams yells hit or anything that someone will eventually notice, and if you don't trust her take her to your room. put her in a conner and sit there and listen to music or something. Then during the day repeat, and before repeating tell her if this happen again that her favorite toy will be taken away. Before she starts to act right. Show her its not oaky to do this. And if she moves from her spot. Tell her that time started over and your not giving her toy back and if she movies again then you are going to throw away her toy. Its all about mind games at this point. Because she growing and thinking for herself. So start treating her like a growing boy and girl. And show her some responsibility. Like picking up her toys, or putting her plate away. She can be really bright if you teach her how to be. =] But its all about the terrible 2's

Answer 4

honey first of all don't be hard on your self .. lots of parents spank their children .. seems not working but the worst is that when you feel guilty she feels it too and that's even make things worst ... of course you need a house of your own ... because as your daughter see that you have no power over everyone in the household she things that you have no power over her too .. and believe me this is bad .. but are you sure that you can manage things by yourself  if you moved don't think it's easy .. you have to look at all the odds very carefully cause it's not just your life it's your baby's life too .

good luck  

Answer 5

i say you and your mom need to take some parenting classes to learn to deal with issues like this  

Answer 6

and Why exactly were you pregnant at 15? Secret Life of the American Teenager much??  

Answer 7

Kids mimic what they see. so if there is a lot of yelling and cursing she's going to that. You definitely need to try to get your on place and tell your daughter just because she sees someone else doing something she can't do it.  

Answer 8

Heyy girll, Its called the TERRIBLE TWO'S!

Answer 9

First of all - you really need to get your temper and your behavior into check. Kids learn from their parents, and the people they are around. You can't punish her for doing something that you do yourself. I'm not saying all parents are perfect, and we never get frustrated, but you have to find another outlet. If you feel like you need to yell or scream, go into another room, away from your daughter, and scream into a pillow. Get it out in a way that you are not teaching or promoting that behavior in her.

Secondly...Spanking.. I've found to be useless. My son thinks it's funny if I spank him on his diaper, and just looks at his hand if I smack it. So I don't even bother anymore. I noticed the few times I did spank him, he would hit me back, thinking it was a game or something. But I realized then how much MY actions affect his.

Unfortunately, living in someone else's house, you cannot control THEIR behavior. So you need to remove your daughter from that. If you are unable to get your own place, then take your daughter outside to play if your mom is crying or arguing. Do the same thing if your little brother is acting up.

Good luck to you and your little one.

Answer 10

if your little brother is acting like that than thats where the most of it is coming from... and dont feel bad every now and then they need there butts poped its not like its going to kill them and try talking to your mom  about the screaming a cussing around her and see if that helps but you have to do it as well and on top of it all welcome to the terrible twos

Answer 11

Hi -- I really understand your frustration! I've been through it with my own children. There is good news and maybe news that doesn't seem so good right now (but really is!). The possibly unwelcome news is: you can't get your baby back because your baby grew up into a toddler. Growth and development is great, and exactly what we want and need for our kids because that's how they get to be independent, functioning, well-adjusted adults! But, it's hard! With every step of development we get amazing changes that bring joy to our hearts (is your little girl walking? talking? doing adorable things that just make you smile?) -- and we also get changes that make us want to pull our hair out!

Your daughter's screaming at not getting her way is actually a healthy sign that she is developing a sense of self. She's asserting her desires and protesting things that she doesn't like -- actually skills that we WANT our children to have (imagine 15 years from now when her friends or boyfriend are pressuring her or doing something she doesn't like. We sure want her to stick up for her likes and dislikes then!). She's also testing her limits -- she needs you to let her know (gently) what is acceptable and what is not. But, it's a learning process that is slow, rough, and full of mistakes, and that has to be honored.

So, you were right on the money when you said that you would never spank her. I know it's hard in practice, but every day we can start over and be a better parent. We all know that spanking and hitting don't work -- they only make the child angry, resentful, and even scared of us. Plus, it teaches her that when someone does something SHE doesn't like, she should hit them.

Believe it or not, the more love, affection, and positive attention we can give our kids, the better their behavior will be. Tuning in to the things that upset your child, talking to her about her feelings and behavior, and looking for alternatives (e.g., she wants to dump water all over the house and screams when you won't let her -- instead of yelling at her, let her dump water in the bathtub or outside) will help deflect some of the tantrums. So will tuning into whether she needs a nap, quiet time, a healthy snack or a drink. A lot of those unmet needs can trigger tantrums about completely unrelated topics.

Best of luck!! I am rooting for you! If you have any time, a great book to read is Adventures in Gentle Discipline by Hilary Flower. It gives good tips, but also gives tons of real-life stories of other moms who are struggling as much as we are and who also find this parenting thing a lot of hard work.

Answer 12

its okay u are trying your best. i dont think spanking is good in any case but if you do it it should be done gently and with a purpose, dont ever hit a child just because you are angry or take out your frustration on them. I cant really help u with the rest except say god bless you im very proud of you u are a very strong woman

Answer 13

There are a few things going on here.

First of all, she's learning that she's capable of saying "no" or expressing her own will. This is an extremely important part of her development! Don't try to FORCE her into submission... this will interrupt her development and she will end up being "rebellious" when she's older. (Think about your own life and actions as a result of your mom's parenting in that way? We teach how we were taught... unless we deliberately find a better way.)

The other thing is that she's responding the only way she knows how to a stressful environment. Babies and small children are more sensitive to unhappy environments than older people who have been in them for a while.

Please read or listen to the book Seven Spiritual Laws For Parents by Deepak Chopra. It's not a religious book, it just explains how children need different things from you during different developmental stages and gives suggestions on things you can do to raise happy, healthy children. (The spiritual laws are things like "When you make a choice, you change the future" and "If you want something, give it"... not things like the ten commandments or whatever, lol.)

If you'd like, you may contact me and I will send you the book/audio book for free. http://answers.yahoo.com/my/message_do?k...