I am a birth mother and have located my adopted child. Can I legally contact him?

Question

The adoption was involuntary and he is a minor. (13)

Answer 1

In our society, we enjoy something called free association.  Unless there is a court order mandating that you stay away from another individual, you can contact whomever you please.  You may have lost your parental rights, but you haven't lost your rights as a member of society.

That said, with the circumstances as they are, using an intermediary would be a wise decision.

Answer 2

http://www.thesite.org/sexandrelationshi...

I found this site there are some things about contacting adopted children on there.

Answer 3

First it really depends on the situation in which he was taken away or put up for adoption. Also if there is a court order than you may not be able to have any contact with him EVER. If neither of those things is stopping you, then I think you should first get in contact with his parents, they have  a right to say yes or no since he technically is THEIR minor son, even though you gave birth to him.

I think it is something I would really look into!

However, please do not just jump into his life without talking to his parents. You do not know if he even knows that he is adopted or what his family has told him, He is young and it may be to overwhelming for him to take in.

I hope this helps!

Answer 4

I don't think you can contact him until he is 13.  First thing, I would contact his adoptive parents.  He may already know he is adopted and they may not have a problem with you meeting him.

Answer 5

Legally? No.

I think the only way you would be able to communicate with him is get in touch with the adoptive parents, then receive their permission to get in contact with the child. You can officially contact him if or when he's 18... If you don't get his adoptive parents permission before he's 18 and you contact him, they can have a restraining order put on you.

Also, like someone said before me, the adoptive parents might not have told your son and if you just appeared, saying, "Hello darling, I'm your mother," he would be pretty freaked out. I mean imagen that the parents you have loved and have shared everything with suddenly said, "Actually you're not our son."

I mean, I'm adopted and i was told about my adoption from and early age, so I've been fine with it over the years but i was recently told that i have a sister, that's seven years older than me, who stayed with my birth mother. I was furious, not because i have a sister but because i was never told before, i have inquired about me having any siblings and i was always told, "no."

I guess what I'm trying to say is if certain pieces of information come out in the wring way, there can be unforeseen consequences.

Good luck with this.

Answer 6

legally, you can never contact the child.

morally, h**l yes.

i would absolutely use a intermediary.  one, the kid is pretty young to spring it on them alone.

two, they may have no idea they're adopted.

:(

Answer 7

You could only contact him with his parents permission. (and his)  To:NewMom, an involuntary adoption is usually when a child is taken by social services for abuse or neglect or some other reason and the parents have done nothing in a few years to correct their problems so the state terminates the parents rights and allows them to be adopted. Or if the parents were co erst into giving child up against their will.

Answer 8

not to be mean but you gave him/her away.......... i would wait tthey want to contact you. they may not even know they are adopted., or what kind of life they have.is disrespectful to the child and adoptive parents

Answer 9

Out of respect, you should contact his parents first to make sure that it is ok with them that you contact him.  They may not have told him that he is adopted and if you contact him out of the blue you could cause any number of emotional issues.

Answer 10

I don't mean to be nosy but how can you have an involuntary adoption, i've never heard of that

Answer 11

Not without the adoptive parents consent. When you gave your kid up you lost all rights to him.  You can contact him at 18 if he wants to be contacted. Chances are he doens't know he was adopted and this would be a shock if you were to barge in on his life while he is still a child.

Answer 12

If you went through an attorney or agency, I would contact them first- and then talk to the adoptive parents, before contacting your child- 13 is a very difficult age.  Do you even know if he knows he is adopted?  My son just met his birth family for the first time last summer- he is now 19.  The attorney contacted me first.