I am a new step mom to a nine year old boy and he is starting the 4th grade at a new school.

Question

I just want to make this transition as comfortable as possible. What should I do as a step mom? How can I help him?

Answer 1

Usually on the first day of school they play games that help them interact with each other so he going to meet new people definitely. When comes home he's going to feel better then he did that morning!

                          

                                                                            :)

Answer 2

New step-mom, new school, and new intermediate grade level. Lots of adjustments here.

Lets start with the school. If possible, go in early so he can scope out the school--know where the classroom, bathroom and cafeteria are--that sort of thing. Hopefully the school has a meet the teacher night or open house sort of thing. If so, both you AND dad should take him. It shows that BOTH of you are interested in him and his education.

New intermediate grade level--as a former 4th grade teacher I can tell you that this will be a very transitional year for your step-son in many ways. Homework is likely to be a big change and long term projects will probably start here. It's a good time to work on goals and time management. Also there is much more demand from this age student to be independent--wanting to stay home alone, get together with friends without checking in as often, etc. They also often become interested in participating in sports or music--which again means less time for homework or family. Balance is key here.

Your relationship may, however, be the most important thing. I've never been a step-mom, so I can't give personal advice, but my dear friend remarried a man with a ten year old boy ten years ago. I have seen her suffer through this relationship. I hope your husband will show you love and respect because his son will learn from his father's example. I hope you will be consulted in manners pertaining to the boy so that he realizes you are just as much a parent as his father or mother. I hope you will take his feelings into consdideration also. Patience, tolerance, and persistance will probably be your biggest allies in this situation.

Good luck. By wanting to help your step-son with this transitional time, I am sure things will be successful for your new family.

Answer 3

Take him out a day or two before the first day of school, go out to lunch and talk about school with him. Go to a clothing store and let him pick out an outfit to wear his first day (or the second day if his mom wants to do the same thing). If he will be at your house for the first day, get him some of his favorites for his school lunch. Be sure to take his picture (but not in front of the bus full of kids, that's embarrassing to 4th graders). Save a copy of his first day picture for him to give his mom, too. This will help ease his transition to school, and it will help you two bond.

Answer 4

Pack his favorite lunch and make him feel special there.  

Answer 5

You can call the school any time and ask if he can come take a look around.  You can meet the principal, school nurse, and possibly even his teacher. At least then, he won't feel totally lost on the first day.  I'm sure he will make friends easy because kids at that age don't technically keep the same friends year after year unless they live on the same block.

Answer 6

take him to school and write him a nice note and a great lunch

Answer 7

How sweet of you to want to be such an important part of your step-sons life. My daughters step mom was also very proactive in everything my daughter did. She would make little care packages for my daughters fist day of school. We did proms togeather and parties and her highschool graduation. She was a second mother to my daugher and was fundamental in the wonderful young woman she has grown up to be. (she is almost 22). Sadly she passed away 2 years ago after having a lap band procedure to lose weight. I never got a chance to tell her "thank you" for loving and caring for my daughter for 17 years. I hope your step childs mother realizes how lucky she is to have you in her sons life.

Answer 8

The first day of school can be scary to any child at any age at a new school.  Maybe pack his favorite lunch, put a picture of the entire family in his lunch box, or just simply write him a note before he goes to school that he can read and just be encouraging.  Maybe, don't know your situation, take him out for ice cream after wards and just let him tell you all about his first day of school.  Good luck!

Answer 9

Offer to take him to school the first day.Meet his teacher.Get him some awesome school clothes so he is popular and liked! Just reassure him everything will be okay.Ask him if there is anything you can do.Make him a good breakfast.Help him with homework or assignments.Ask him about school everyday when he gets home.

Answer 10

nothing.. you're not his mom..

pretending to be wil make things worse/