I am a preschool teacher and have to deal with rude parents everyday, how do I deal with them?

Question

I have to see these parents twice a day that have accused me of things I have not done. I can't ignore them or be rude. So how do i deal?

Answer 1

Just smile at them and tell them to have a  good day.

Answer 2

i've been fortunate enough not to deal with too many difficult parents in my four years of teaching so far. i've been finding, though, that in some of my co-workers in the kindergarten and 1st grade classes are having some rude parents. some seem to think that anything that goes wrong with their child stems from school! anyway, i found these 10 tips for dealing with difficult parents. one that i think will be helpful for you to read is #6. it's OK to tell parents that you'll get back to them regarding their concerns. i've found a really effective way in dealing with strange types of accusations is through a letter. start and end it on a positive note and don't make it too long. i just wrote a letter on monday because a parent was concerned we were teaching her son that when he is disciplined, it means that the person disciplining (namingly, his parents), doesn't love him! i'm glad i responded in a letter because i probably would've had a hard time addressing that in person. it's just such a bizzare thing to accuse!  i always have my teaching partner read over anything before i send it home. if i find that i'm starting to get frustrated with a parent who calls often or something, i ask her to field the calls. i have a parent who wants to talk almost the entire day while we're trying to teach! but after getting my partner's answer of, 'no, she can't come to the phone now, she's with the kids. can i take a message?' enough times, the parent is starting to not call as often :)

i hope you find this list useful!

1. Let upset parents know that your goal is to help every child succeed. Look for ways to find common ground. Tell parents that both of you want what’s best for their child and that you want to find ways to work together. When parents are able to look at the big picture and realize that you are on the same side, you can begin to work together to help their child succeed.

2. Be sensitive! No matter how tense a situation becomes, always remember that your student is someone’s precious baby. Open your conversation with parents by acknowledging the child’s strengths before you focus on areas of concern.

3. Good records that document dates, times, notes and decisions about students can be invaluable if problems arise. Keep track of communication you’ve had with parents throughout the school year. Make a set of parent communication folders by labeling file folders with the names of your students. Staple a few blank sheets of paper inside each folder. Use these folders to jot notes with details of important conversations and keep notes from parents organized. Inside each folder, write the date, name of the parent with whom you spoke, and any actions that need to be taken. Make sure to date notes that you receive from parents before you file them in the folders. If you respond to a parent’s note in writing, make a copy of your response and staple it to the parent’s note. After making phone calls to parents to discuss problems, take a few minutes to record any important information that was discussed. Parent Communication Files come in handy if you ever need to document how you’ve involved and informed parents after an incident at school. Keep these important folders inside the front of your desk drawer so they are at your fingertips instantly.

4. Be proactive! Contact parents as soon as you see academic problems or negative behavior patterns develop. You’ll have a better chance to change these patterns if you catch them early. Here are some things to discuss with parents:

    * areas where their child excels

    * if their child is attentive during lessons

    * where their child stands academically

    * specific areas where their child experiences difficulties

    * specific ways they can help their child at home

    * how well their child gets along with classmates

    * how long homework should take to complete

    * allow parents to share their concerns and ask questions

    * if you are unsure what a parent asks about, request specific examples

5. Be prepared to give specific examples to illustrate the points you make. Show parents examples of average and above average work for your grade level. White out the names on papers and use actual samples of students' work to clearly illustrate typical work for the grade level. The idea isn’t to compare students to one another, it’s to give parents a clear idea of exactly what your expectations are for students in your class.

6. Have you ever been caught off guard by a parent and answered a question in a way that you regret later? If a parent asks you a question that floors you, don't be put on the spot. It's fine to let parents know that you need some time to reflect on their question before you respond. Let them know that you'll get back to them in a day or two. Relax—you’ve just bought yourself time to explore options and perhaps bounce ideas off of a colleague before you respond to the parents.

7. Don’t be afraid to end a meeting with parents who become confrontational. Sometimes, the best thing to do is to provide an opportunity for all parties to cool down and reflect on the issues at hand by bringing the meeting to a close. Set a time and date to meet again. If you feel threatened, ask your principal, vice principal or school counselor attend the next conference.

8. It's awkward when parents share too much information with you. While it’s helpful to know things that directly impact a student, it can be problematic when parents disclose too much personal information. It’s not your job to be their therapist. Remind parents that during the limited time you have to speak with them, that you need to focus on their child and not on them.

9. Sometimes neighborhood issues spill over into the classroom. Don’t let yourself get dragged into disputes between families of children in your class. Problems escalate quickly if it’s perceived that you’re siding with other parents. When parents begin to share information about neighborhood squabbles, jump right in and tell them that it’s information that you don’t need to hear. Let parents know that you're receptive to their thoughts and ideas about their child, but you must stay out of personal issues between the families.

10. Watch for parents who hover relentlessly. I had a parent my second year of teaching who expected to volunteer in my classroom all day every day. I welcome parent volunteers, but this was ridiculous! She actually burst into tears when I told her she could only work in my room for an hour or two each week. I let her know that her daughter needed the space to develop social skills and gain independence. Then I told her about all of the other volunteer opportunities available at the school. Before long she was busy helping in the library and active in the PTA.

11. Be prepared for a worst case scenario. Read your contract or board policy and make sure you understand your rights and the steps to follow if a parent files a formal complaint.

Answer 3

first just go ahead and listen to what they have to say then politely say " well im sorry you feel that way but..." or " I understand where you are coming from but .."

your only hope is to be as nice as possible even if you dont agree because arguing with rude parents will get you no where! good luck!

Answer 4

where is your boss?

you need  support.

They need to talk to the boss, be polite, kind, and firm.

Answer 5

You could probably just suck it up and deal with the parents for the 5 minutes they are there... or get a job as a teacher for older children where you won't have to deal with the parents.

If that's not an option, then just be as nice and polite as you can to them.  Take what they say with a grain of salt.  If they are accusing you of untrue things, notify your supervisor to look more into the issue.

Answer 6

keep smiling and know in your heart that you didn't do the things they are accusing you of.  If anyone brings it up then, you will have a head start to talk about it and perhaps clear your name.

Answer 7

Try being more polite

Answer 8

Keep a record as short as possible as to the behavior of the child and what the parents are saying you are doing. Do not discuss things with them daily. Tell them that you are a teacher to all the children and right now I do not have the time to share with you about this concern. Say to them "Lets set up a time for a conference. Then we will have the time to understand your concerns better." Do not do the conference alone. I hope that you are working in a classroom with either an assistant or a co-teacher. If not have the director be in on the conference and discuss all these issues with your director ahead of time. She can give you ideas on handling the parents but she should back you up to the parents on your ability as their child's teacher. The same as the assistant or the co-teacher. In the end if the parent is not happy your boss should either tell the parents that maybe they need to find a school that is more appropriate for their family! Maybe say that you don't seem to feel we meet the needs of your child so it might be better for you to find a school that does. Or you can do this too. You do not need to hear complaints daily and no teacher should be forced to deal with this parent daily. They sound like a very insecure parent. If your boss is not helping in any way or does not agree that the family should seek another school then I would be looking for a new employer. Good luck and i do hope I have been of some help.

Answer 9

Kill them with kindness!  They won't know what to do.  Still stand your ground if there is an issue, but be super polite.  Smile and nod. I have a few parents I would like to avoid, but I try to kill them with kindness or ignore them when possible.

Answer 10

Pleasantly but firmly. If they accuse you of something serious, bring your boss into the matter. That's her job.