I am a single mom basically, what can I do to not be lonely? ( no funny answers please.)?

Question

I have a 20 month old son who I stay home with. My sons father lives with me but we are not together. I hardly see him and I have asked him to move out several times. He won't yet. Of all the people in the world I meet a nice guy but turns out hes married. We chat online and text and hung out as friends twice. I want to stop thinking of him cuz he is married. But my lonliness has me thinking of him all the time. What can I do to help myself and forget about this guy and get rid of my sons father. Hes a jerk and verbaly and emotionally abusive,

Answer 1

Try to get involved in some activities you enjoy.  I know it's hard with a young child, but you can kind of use that to your advantage if you work it out right.  Some activities require money, but others are totally free.  Most libraries have free story-times for young children, and you can take your son there.  You probably won't meet men to date (maybe you will??), but you'll get out of the house and meet girl friends and maybe some other people in a situation like yours.   You should also look at parks and recreation organizations -- they might have mother/child activities that are cheap or free to attend.  It's a great way to meet friends and get out of the house and spend time with your son!  Even if you aren't dating, you'll have good girl friends, and maybe you'll meet someone you like through one of them.

When you can, take some time away from your son for a break.  You need a break to be by yourself sometimes.  Try taking a dance, yoga, or exercise class for fun.  Again, you'll meet friends and maybe guys.  (Hey, maybe you can dance with some if you take a tango or swing dance class!)  If you have other hobbies, get involved with those.  You'll meet people, get out, and have fun.

As for your son's father, it sounds like he's bad news.  I don't know how you can get him out of the house, but maybe with time, he'll find his way out.  In the meantime, live your own life and try to separate yourself from him however you can.  Good luck!

Answer 2

You can have your "roommate" evicted by serving him a 60 day notice, or whatever is legal in your city/state. Or you can move out to move on with your life.

Next, you will find it easier to have more freedom mingling with other single people, more space in your home for your baby to play, and more time at home not worrying if the abusive person is at your home.

Meeting people you can trust and develop honest relationships with may take a while, however, the day will come when you will find that perfect, single someone who will meet your emotional needs, as well as be a positive role model for your baby. There is no rush to meet that special significant other, be patient and they will come when you least expect it. Keep going out with your girlfriends, and do your errands with a more socially responsive approach on a day to day basis and you will be surrounded by people and not feel lonely any more.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

go see your family hun and ask them to help get the jerk out of your house.

secondly ask mum to babysit and go and have a blow out with your friends once a week.

it doesn't make you a bad mum by going out occasionally, we all need to have a life.

lastly, you don't have to be lonely, there are a million fellas out there just waiting to be nice to you, so slap on some make up and get out there. you don't have to put up with things and be a stay at home mum, you can be a woman and choose life too.

Your baby will be happier because he/she will sense the happiness in you.

Answer 4

Get a restraining order against the father. Due to emotional abuse you fear it could turn violent is all you would have to say. And for gods sake stay away from the married man! Dont be a selfish home wrecker! Also think about this. If he cheats on his wife with you and ends up divorcing her and stays with you then the chances are that he will most likly cheat on you too later on.

Answer 5

do you have any girl friends? try hanging out with them more...

or just go out with your son more, to parks, malls, supermarkets...just don't stay home all the time, it feels lonely just looking at 4 walls...

find forums online to hang out, you probably have something you like to do, discuss them with similarly liked minds can help you feel connected and less lonely1

good luck!

Answer 6

I would go to a toddler group with your son, it gets you out of the house, your son can make friends and so will you, you may even meet someone in the same sort of situation as you

Answer 7

Well- If you own the house that your son's father is staying in- get a police officer to come out and kick him out- you could also change the locks while he's at work one day. Pack his stuff for him and tell him that if he wants to be a part of his kids life~ he better leave or you'll take him to court for full custody and ONLY can see his son with visitation rights! Yoi could also take a restraining order against him. But for your lonliness~ Get involved with a hobbie- work part time take yor son to a "mommie and me" class!! That would be fun- your getting out of the house and spending time with your kid!! Good luck and Hope I helped!!

Answer 8

First thing you may consider is to allow emails and IMs in order to develop more contacts with those here on the YA  

Second you may consider opening up Yahoo 360.  I have been really enjoying blogging and finding others that are of my same interest.  

Last you may consider getting an Attorney and getting the father of your children out and paying child support and alimony etc.  

I was going to email you and offer my attention however you don't have email working.

Good Luck

DFF

Answer 9

No don't do online dating. It's a way of showing that your so lonely and vulnerable. There's people in the world that would very much enjoy taking care of that. Just start hanging around new places. Try going out to meet people, that sucks about your ex. And we all want what we can't have. It's hard. Emotions will come and go. While your out and about pick up a hobby that would involve other people. Then at least you'll have someone in common with the person(or people) you've met.

Answer 10

I would try online dating.

Answer 11

I am also in a situation that is very similar. Although I haven't met anyone new.

Being a single parent can be tough, without a doubt. I know it sounds really silly, but I go into a chatroom for single parents and just chat with other people when I'm feeling really lonely. It's nice to know you're not alone and that other people are feeling the same.

Ideally you need to get rid of your ex, he doesn't sound very good to me, and could effect your sons upbringing. I know it's easier said that done, but give him an ultimatum, or, when he's out... Gather all his belongings and put them in the yard. That way he'll have no choice but no move on. Try your hardest not to let him back in.

In regards to the new male you've met, I think it's wonderful you've found a new friend. Just value your friendship with him and respect his marriage. Ask him if he has any male friends that he could hook you up with!

Hopefully this has helped, but overall, only you can cure oyur lonliness. It won't last forever, and eventually you'll meet your prince charming :)

x

Answer 12

Having a guy in your life is not going to complete you. You're complete and whole and just fine right now. What you probably need more than anything, is childcare. It's justified, if you are depressed, to spend money on a sitter so that you can go do something for yourself - take up a creative hobby, write a journal, go to a gym or a movie or for a jog, have lunch with an old friend. You're still somebody and you can't forget that. Living for yourself a bit should give you the backbone and mental space you need to decide how to deal with your marriage problems.

Boys online are just fodder for fantasies that go nowhere, or else they take you out of the frying pan and into the fire. If you are determined to have a different man, just file for divorce - own up to what you want and go after it, if that's it.

Answer 13

Being alone doesn't have to mean being lonely!

Likewise, having a partner doesn't always mean you won't be lonely either.

Wait to look for a new relationship AFTER the man has moved out!

It just gets too complicated for everyone involved, especially your child.

Find a hobby, support group, chat group etc...

Find something you are interested in and put whatever energy and time you have into this.  You will feel better about yourself and this will make you feel better.  I think lonely is just being bored.  You no longer have the same relationship therefore you no longer have the same routines.  This can leave you lost and not knowing what to do... which you may interpret as being lonely.

I'm sure that if you find something you and your son can do together on a regular basis or something you can do to improve your skills or put you in the company of other people (maybe like your situation), you will find you aren't really lonely at all.... just bored and need a new life.

Try it first before you resort to a relationship with a man.  ESPECIALLY a married man!

Answer 14

Online dating is not a bad idea. I suggest e-harmony. I know they might cost a little bit, but I know  couple who met just two or three months after they signed up. They have been together like 3 years now. Also, you could volunteer (something simple, I know that's kind-of hard w/ a baby) or join some sort of group in your community. Perhaps some place nearby has a group for single mothers, or something of your interest (ex: art class at a ymca). I hope this helps...Good luck getting rid of them. =)

Answer 15

do try not get too emotionally involved with the married guy, it will only bring pain and sorrow and eventually much destruction. its really not worth it all in the end. have you thought of joining a mother and toddler group for a little female company, maybe a couple of days a week you could take baby to the swim pool for a break? chatting on-line is sometimes the only company some of us get and there is nothing wrong with making friends on-line and you will meet some nice people no doubt, it must be awfull for you to have to live in the situation though, and hope things turn around for you soon, I'm sure they will it just takes time :)

Answer 16

Call social service?  Get the abusive guy out of your home first, then make friends, and hang out with them.  If you have trouble finding good friends, try to look for matured people to befriend.  Maybe you can also find a good bachelor through the married guy?