I am a single parent of a five year old girl but these days i find that my patience with her is growing thin?

Question

she cries for no reason sometimes or for any little stupidness don't get me wrong i love my child very much but how can i deal with it what should i do what are some things that i can do. help help help she loves to read and colour draw etc.... need help going out my mind

Answer 1

I know how hard it is.  Ignore the pointless whining.  When she is behaving that is when you smother her with attention and affection.  Take a deep breath and give yourself alittle break now and then.  Your only human.  They grow up so fast, so enjoy her!

Answer 2

Try talking to her. There might be something going on that she isn't expressing verbally - but crying instead. Many young children do cry very often and it may be very upsetting to you, but it happens. They grow out of it.

Answer 3

Maybe you should give her something to cry about.  Little kids will often whine as you describe, but if you explain to her that if she doesn't stop you will give her a reason to cry (as in spank her butt) and make your meaning clear, she will probably stop very quickly.  Whatever it is she was crying about will no longer seem so upsetting to her in light of what could happen.  If she does not stop, give her that spanking and you will probably never have this problem again.

Answer 4

You've gotten some really good advice so far. Don't reward tantrums. That will help. I only have one other thing to add:

Take some time for yourself. I know, it sounds selfish, but you really will be a better mom for it. In order to be able to take care of her, you have to take care of You. And it doesn't have to be anything big or time-consuming, maybe just a walk or a trip (alone) to the library will do it. Get a manicure. Or go to the mall and just browse for a bit. It will help.

Answer 5

when my daughter starts acting out and throwing fits, I go to my room and lock the door.  A)  she sees it's not working  and  B)  It keeps me from overreacting back to her  and C)  it allows me to calm myself before I do anything irrational

Answer 6

she sound a little bored and you are frustrated.  its time to find an activity for her that will let her develope her social skills and allow you some free time to regroup and refresh youself.  find out if your local library has classes in art or maybe a stroy time that she can attend.  many do.

Answer 7

Your have already listed out what is the problem you are facing.  I have got this experiences as the child change the study kindergarden and I think there are much more homeworks for her.

She live in a single parent, she wants to obtains all the love from you is a must.  Therefore, she will do anything that make you play much more attentions to her. I believe that you can as you have caring with her up to now. Love is splendid especially in the single family.

Answer 8

I think you will find as you become the parent of a 6 7 14 year old your patience grows thin....Make sure to take some time for yourself.  Of course thats easier said than done.  Never reward a tantrum, help her to become more patient by showing her patience.  Its a virtue ya know... And if all else fails throw yourself down beside her and show her how  it's done.  Have a tantrum yourself.

Answer 9

I can only go by what's happened in my house.  That whole clingy thing explains my 4 1/2 yr old to a tee!  BUT, the problem was mine.

I made her feel insecure, always have, didn't know it.  I'm one of those overbearing moms who does not want anything bad to happen to their kid, so I was smothering her...BIGTIME!

She now has problems playing with other kids (normal problems which should have been figured out long ago).  

So, anyways, 2 mths ago mom told me to let out some slack.  I did, and life is SO much better.  She no longer has to be my shadow.  She can comfortably play in another room for a few minutes by herself.  She still checks on me every few minutes, but I'm no longer her play mate.  I also started babysitting another girl her age...and viola...FREETIME!

There's still hassles, but I no longer want to scream and throw things everytime I hear a whiny "mom".  Believe me, I know how you feel!

I'm also going to enroll her in soccer this summer, she goes to homeschool co-op on Fridays, and we make almost daily trips to the park because it's close enough.  Even McDonald's playland is a lifesaver when you're running errands out in town.  Anything to get her active with OTHER people!

:o)

Answer 10

My 3rd daughter is 6 ,going through the same thing. The oldest one would cry every day after school and the 2nd almost every day. It got worse in first grade, better in second. You have to ignore whining. We say we can't hear it and won't answer any whiny ?'s. My 6 yr old crys over commercials, sappy songs and the retirement of Brett Favre. (we are Packer fans). Pick your battles. Hold her and tell her she's ok when it's reasonable, otherwise let her be.

Answer 11

I'm also a single mother and my daughter is 4 1/2 yrs old!!

Well I know what you're going through because you feel the weight of the world on you.  Some ppl assume just cause they seem to work with the child more than their husband that it's almost the same as being a single mother.... WRONG.. being a single mother takes ALLOT out of you.. when you're the ONLY person in sight they "need" you twice as much.

I'd suggest putting her into a sport or activity.

I recently put my daughter in TWO activities -soccer & ballet.

And that has really helped!!

She has less time to be all whinny and I get time to just sit under a tree and RELAX, read a book or have a grown up conversation with other grown ups (yay!) or even sit back w/un-interupted time to do bills or whatever!! I'm loving it!

At home when she gets all clingy and wants every ounce of attention when I'm exhausted and frustrated at whatever and know that my patience is running thin...... I give her a project.. like practice writting your word of the day etc.. also when I see she has allot of energy I send her outside to practice ALONE so I can take a breather..

It's OKAY to not sit there with her and be all giddy and happy and smiles all day every day.. and be the typical "perfect mommy" who kicks the ball around after 10 hours at work..

It's OKAY to take a few minutes to yourself and I reccomend it.. or you'll drive yourself nuts ..

So let her play alone and teach her that it's good that she learns to do things on her own.

So after she's playing outside in the backyard for a lil bit, I calm down and then go out there and play with her.. so we both win.

Take it easy.. relax... things will be fine.  =)

Answer 12

Sounds like she needs attention and has learned that this will get it for her.  Be sure to give her more positive attention and she won't seek the negative kind.  When she starts crying, walk away.

Answer 13

Try to validate her feelings even if you don't understand them. If she is crying about something that seems stupid to you remember that it is serious and upsetting to her. Comfort her and give her extra love and attention and this stage will probably pass soon, until she becomes a teenager at least :-)

Answer 14

I've been a single mom since my daughter was 2 - she's 11 now.

The thing that helped me the most was making sure that I had at least one span of 2 hours every week that was just for me. It is 'my time' - sometimes I get my hair done, walk through the mall, or just sit and stare at the sky - but it is all for me - and me alone. It gives me a chance to unwind and find some energy and patience that I may have lost over the week. It benefits me more than those 2 hours - I have a little more patience knowing that break is coming.

I also am part of a single parent's group at my church - there are about 5 of us that get together once a month. We all chip in for a babysitter, have a cover dish dinner with the kids for an hour, then send the kids to watch a movie or play - and we have a chance to vent, compare notes, relax, and laugh!

Taking time for yourself puts you in a better frame of mind - and can more easily deal with the demands of your daughter.  She knows when you're stressed - and that stresses her out. If you can find the time to regain a good frame of mind for yourself, she will follow suit.

Good luck!

Answer 15

I send mine to his room.  I don't tell him not to cry, but I tell him that I can't understand what he's saying and that he can come out when he's ready to talk.  I've noticed that he does much better when I include him in making dinner and mundane things where we get to interact more.

Answer 16

Thats what they do, My daughter does this when something around her has changed. give extra hugs and kisses and a bit more mommy time. the more you get upset the longer it takes to correct

Answer 17

It's a stage she is going through, it will pass. Keep reminding yourself, this too shall pass. When she cries try to distract her, color with her, invite her to play a game with you or watch a good kid show.It's important that you do things to not let it get to you. Take a deep breath, leave the room, turn on some music.. Keep repeating "It is a stage, it will pass".