I am about ready to slap the living h**l out of my hubby ?

Question

PS:Sorry i am a bit pissed today so some words may start flying out .

I had no idea i would here asking this question today but i guess this is my turn . my hubby of 5 years is acting stupid and he thinks i dont know . all of this started last week when he was a bit way too quiet but very nice to me, doing everything i wanted , but he didint want to talk about what was bothering him . i have never felt the need to check on him cause i trust him . i trusted him enough to let him go in my sister 's hubbys club on friday without me . boy he came home and the next day i felt something wasnt right . so i took his phone and all of the incoming text messages were erased but not the outgoing ones so i had the chance to read two of them before he got out of the bathroom . they were to a female one was saying" i really liked your company tonight , it was fun thanks " and the other " did you get home safe? , what are u still doing up? you should go to bed." two mn after i went back in there to finish reading them and i saw that he erased all of them also . this was since friday and i didnt ask him anything cause i am too tired and sick right now . heck i am 18 weeks prego and headaches are just killing me. he is being great at helping in the house and is never going out but his blackberries isnt leaving his pocket either . geez if it is what i think it is i am so ready to kick him , beat him and slap him . you know all that . i mean i am here suffering and him, having fun? and me who was thinking about doing something special for his birthday coming next week ? God what should i do ? I am just so pissed i can t think straight. should i confront him? he will say i dont have any proof?

this is our second child . i know it is to a woman caus ei saw her phone number and her name . what should i do ?

Answer 1

Just ask him.  He already knows you are reading his text messages so go ahead and clear the air.  Ask your sister to find out what happened from her husband.  He probably just flirted with some woman and is feeling guilty about it now.  Just a boost to his ego probably.  He loves you. If he didn't he wouldn't be acting nice and doing everything you want.

Answer 2

Confront him.  Once you do that, you will know what to do from there.

Answer 3

I think you should confront when you can think clearly remember you are pregnant and don't want the stress to take a toll on your baby! maybe try to get some more evidence because the messages you read can be taken out of context and it doesn't seem as if he is going out other than to work..calm down and try to see things in a different light...maybe ask to use his cell phone with the excuse that yours isn't working well or that yours isn't charged...than snoop!

Answer 4

He has personally taken phone numbers and that is crossing the line and I would confront him about it and ask him why he done that?  I would tell him you felt something was up because his attitude was different after him coming back from the bar and being his wife you had every right to follow your gut feeling here in checking his phone. If he doesn't like it tell him that he should not have been so obvious that he was up to no good because he doesn't hide things very well from somebody that knows him. Don't allow him to turn this around on you because it's about him and not you!! You let him know that this is unacceptable and you will not tollerate his c**p and that's the bottom line. If this is how he is going to treat you tell him to stick these women up his azzzz sweetie because it isn't right. He is either with you in this relationship or he is not and he has no reason to be concerned about any woman in his life but you if he wants to keep you in it. If this is how he is going to react on giving him a night out and trusting him to do so he now has ruined every possibility of that happening again since he cannot control him self s******g around with other women. Tell him if he has a problem with it to hit the door before you slap him upside his face.

Answer 5

You already know that he's at least talking to another woman. This sounds like an emotional affair right now. Not that it would be any better if it were JUST a physical thing. However, you saw the evidence and your stomach told you that something is not right. LISTEN TO THAT FEELING! If you want to talk to him about it, he's going to lie. Trust me, I know. I was seeing a married man and things got out of control. His wife ended up caling me and told me all he had told her. He told her just enough to convince her that I meant nothing to him whatsoever. This was not the case, "I love you" was exchanged between us at least 30 times so it was way more than just s*x. Confront him and see what he says but, he will be lying. Is this the kind of man you want to have in your life? Is this the kind of man you want around your children? Is it ok that he's cheating on you? If the answers to this question are yes - then drop it. If they're not, you have some serious thinking to do.  

Answer 6

It is also a huge deal for you that he doesn't mess around w/other women so I guess that throws the theory of his privacy being a big deal out the window too.  You have every right to look at anything of your husbands.  I trust my husband w/everything too and I never ever go through his stuff but if I did he wouldn't have a problem w/it unless he was playing w/me telling me to stay out of "his stuff" while he laughed.  He sounds like he's prepared for something like this if it's that big of a problem to him.  My baby is 10 weeks old and I really don't know how your containing yourself because I would have went on the NUT badddddddd especially being pregnant. You are going through enough and you shouldn't have to go through something like this too.  You know when we are pregnant we just adore our husbands and depend on them so much more and he should too.  I would have NEVER let him go into a strip club while I was pregnant.  There are too many things we can't do for them that we normally could not pregnant and that makes them vulnerable.  You need to tear his A$$ uppppppppp.  I am 36, married 13 yrs, 4 children and I don't care, I would hurt him.  By the way, I have not a jealous bone in my body I just feel that this is such a rotten thing for a man to do and it insults me to that degree.  Good luck hurting him and VERY very good luck w/that new bundle of joy.  :o)

Answer 7

what you should do is one of two things confront him or speak to your sister and explain what you think might be going on thats if your husband went with your sisters man i,m sure between you,s you should get the truth.

Answer 8

He needs to be honest with you. Don't overreact though, it could be a couple friends of his. It may be innocent. There was nothing sexual in the messages you typed in that you saw on his phone. He may have flirted a bit, or just wasn't thinking straight and gave his number to a strange woman. He may be ashamed of it and is trying to hide it, or just doesn't want you to assume things are going on and is hiding it. Just sit him down and talk to him and tell him to be honest with you. If you do feel like he's s******g around on you sexually though, get him back. Find you a hot guy thats into prego's (they exist-I like it myself-course my wife is pregnant), and have yourself a good time while he's not home. Although if he tells you he did cheat and he's honest with you about it, maybe he just needed something different, ask him about her and see if she wants to come over and all three of you have a good time together, and tell him not to lie to you about it if he wants something different. I don't with my wife.

Answer 9

Confront him. Tell him it stops or your are gone. I have been down this road it is not an easy one. I would also confront her. That is what I did and it worked. Good luck.

Answer 10

i think you should go with your gut..."slap the living h**l outta him".

would he be honest with you if you asked him out right, "did you cheat on me?"

or would he say they were just talking?

Answer 11

You deserve to go ballistic. You married a loser. Go ahead and clean his clock!  

Answer 12

Talk to him about it.  It really doesn't sound like he did anything but exchange numbers with a woman/women he met in a club.  Everybody wants to test their swagger every now and then and he is no exception.  He's probably just flattered at the attention he got at the club.  WHere he went wrong is he exchanged numbers and stayed in contact with them. Speak to him before you assume the worst and stop letting these feelings fester.

Answer 13

if you can get the phone number of the other women, text them and invite them to a party for your husband.  yes, set him up with all his favorite women.  let them think that the text is from him.  he deserves it.

Answer 14

before you do anything that you might regret...i think that you should tell him that you know about those text msgs and you want to know what's going on.  those msgs seem shady, but in themsevles is not enough evidence to support that he's having an affair.  you are pregnant, emotional, and not in the most rational state right now, so i would confront him, but give him the benefit of the doubt before you fly off the handle about this.

Answer 15

well, i'd write down the # and then i'd text her myself and say i was your husband but from a different #. I'd say like, "so did you have a good time the other night?", and try to get things out of her yourself... then you can go from there.

Answer 16

[1] Finding out about cheating is NOT an invasion of his privacy. He sounds like a teenager who tells his mommy to leave his bedroom door closed so he can jerk off.

[2] Erase, schmee-rase. Your cell phone carrier has the last 3 MONTHS worth of text messages stored on their billing web site. Simply log in and you can see all the sent AND received messages he "erased."

[3] Do NOT "go on your gut." You're standing here telling us how hormonal you are. So concentrate on getting facts FIRST.

[4] Why do you keep letting this idiot get you pregnant?

Answer 17

I feel that when my husband put a ring on my finger I had a right to know everything he is doing including opening his mail and checking his phone.  He knows it and doesn't care. He can do the same to me.

So to me personally you are not invading his privacy.  And since you know he gave his number out to a few females you have a right to confront him.   So what if he gets mad.  That doesn't alleviate the point that he did wrong.  

Sorry to say this but if I were pregnant or not I wouldn't care how considerate my husband was if he was handing out his phone number to women he met while out having fun .. He is cheating or thinking about it.  

I know you are not in a good position to argue as stress is not good for you or your child but neither is holding it in.  

If it were me I would have written down the women's phone numbers and names and called them to let them know he is married then let them tell you what he told them.

Then I would be on the phone to a lawyer.  Pregnant or not.  I would never be able to trust him again.  What he did was wrong.  Period.

And drinking is not an excuse !  

If he wanted to be with other women then why did he get married in the first place !  

Answer 18

I completely understand how you feel.  I was about 5 months pregnant with our second child when i found out my hubby was cheating on me with a little tramp at work. My first suspision was on Saturday when he came home after supposedly having to work on a Saturday and was very quiet and trying to do everything in the world for me to make me happy - come to find out, he had been with "her" that day and felt guilty when he came home to his family.  So how he acted the next day is definatly a suspisious clue as to his actions the night before.  And then the text messages.....

You have to confront him at some point, but I would watch him for a while until you can catch him in the act.  I caught my husband right in the middle of emailing "her" and that's when I confronted him and it all came out.....

Good luck!