I am becoming a foster parent for brother's daughter with an outcome of possible adoption. Help Me, please?

Question

My brother and his wife are having huge problems and my neice (14 months old) is now in foster care. I am going through the process to be licensed as a foster parent (along with my husband) and take care of her. I was informed that because of the home situation, they are interested in my eventually adopting her because they have no intention of returning her to the household. I know that while I am a foster parent, custody belongs to the parents or dyfs.

I want to know if when I adopt her as my own child:

1. Will I still have to stay in NJ or can I still go with my plans to eventually move my famiily to another state (myself, husband and 6 year old son)

2. Does a child who is adopted keep her last name or does she take the name of the foster family?

3. Due to my brothers mental problems and violent behavior do I have the right to keep he and his wife away from my family?

4. After she is adopted will my husband and I be mommy and daddy or will my brother and his wife still be?

Answer 1

we have two children now in kinship care. Right now we do not know if the kids will be reunified with their parent.

The courts made decisions regarding visitation based on safety concerns.  in our case, visitation is allowed only under direct supervision from a social worker or advocate. If a person is dangerous the courts can deny any visitation.

We are guardians and are not allowed to take the children out of state without permission.  This would change if we do actually adopt the kids.

If you do adopt the children would legally be yours and would have your last name, etc..  The children are young so in your case, they probably will come to consider you their parents in time.

Remember that you cannot divorce yourself of their past though.  They always will be their parents children.  It is different raising kids when you know their genetic parents well.  I can see with my kids many traits of their mother and father...both the good and the bad.   It is a reminder to me that they have an entirely different history that I cannot change.  So while they have become part of my own family, they will always be a part of their past family too.

Answer 2

Hello, I'll answer as best as I can.

We have adopted my husbands brothers kids.

Being that she is in foster care, if the state is allowing visits than you have to be there every week for visits. If they are not allowing them to visit than you should be able to move. You have to talk to the agency and in some states go before a judge to state why you are moving.

  Usually the child takes the foster family's name when the adoption is final. Its your choice.

  You are not required to tell your brother where you are moving to. After his rights are terminated, he has no rights for a visit or any info. Just remember that his daughter may want a relationship with him someday. My hubbys brother is now in jail and has severe mental problems but we still keep him up to date with what is going on with his kids out of respect for blood.

My adopted kids call me mom. They were 5 and 3 so I left it up to them. She is young so (I don't know the circumstances) if you are certain you are adopting her, I would think she would start calling you mom and dad.

Good luck and don't forget that she will have a loss from this and I hope you can do your best not to shut her parents out completely if at all possible.

Answer 3

you got some good and correct answers so I won't repeat them. You might be able to get the child in your home now under whats called kinship care. Its for family members and you don;'t have to be foster care certified to do. But every state is different. Ask the social worker. about it.

Answer 4

Once you adopt your neice she's yours in every which way your son is except that you didn't give birth to her.  You can sign her up to fly to the moon if you want to and don't have to get permission.  Normally yes the baby would take on your last name since you're now her parents.  You have the right to keep anyone you don't think is stable away from your neice and of course you'll be mommy and daddy once she's adopted.  They wouldn't have taken your neice away from your brother or sister if they thought they were stable enough to keep her.

Answer 5

Hope all goes well!!!

1. No. Once she has been adopted than you are her new gardian and she is to do whatever is asked. So if you wanted to move its  your choice!

2.The child is now in new care (arms) She may choose when she is older.. It is not a thing that has to be done!

3.Yes. Once you are the gardian of the baby. You may keep him away! (him and family)

4. You and your husband will be mommy and daddy. They no longer will have the baby is thier arms.!

hope all helps! and good luck!!

--tweetie--

Answer 6

1. If you adopt her, depending on the adoption contract/agreement, you can move wherever you want.

2. Depends on the parents and age of the child, generally. For a younger child that won't know the difference, change the name to your name.

3. I think you should be able to protect your family, but I don't know for sure on this one :)

4. You're mommy and daddy! Esp. if you plan on having no contact with the birth parents.

Answer 7

1. Once the adoption is final, she is your daughter and you can move wherever you like.

2. Name change is not automatic. In some states there's a separate form. Where I live, they added it on to the adoption finalization form. Whether or not you change her name is up to you, but where I live the court offers to process the name change at the time of finalization.

3. As the parent, you have both the right and responsibility to protect your daughter.

4. Since she's so young, she'll probably imitate your son and just begin calling you mommy & daddy after awhile.  Just don't lie to her as she grows up, let her know in an age appropriate way the pieces of her history that she will want to know.