I am being bullied at work do i go off sick or stay as i am trying to find a new job

Question

i am being bullied at work our hr advisor has picked up on it and today my boss asked was everything alright i am trying to find another job and i am dreading going in on monday as my boss said she would have a word with the girl who is bullying me as everytime i make a mistake she points it out in front of everyone i am seriously thinking of going off with stress as i am weepy and nervous would this affect my chances of another job any advice would be great thanks guys

Answer 1

I am bullied at work too, you just sit it out and find another job. It doesn't need to make you nervous you haven't done anything wrong.

Answer 2

Find a new job!

Dont let them push you out of work!

Answer 3

Record everything and never act badly. Join a Union and be assertive

Answer 4

see how it goes on monday if it does not go well take a few days off. definantly look for new job.

good luck :(

Answer 5

I HATE bullies! You need to raise h**l.

I worked in an office and a girl who had done nothing wrong to anyone (fair enough she made a few mistakes, wasnt the brightest etc but wasnt nasty or anything) was getting bullied. The company moved her to another dept. which is fair enough, however I can't help feel like they penalised her for being the victim rather than punishing the bullies.

This is often what happens, particularly if the bullies are experienced members of staff and the management are more scared of them than they are of the management!

You need to stand up to the B*TCH. If you can't do that (and I know its hard cos I am so weak in the workplace) then give your manager an ultimatum - 'deal with it or I am gone!'

It might give you some time with a bit of peace before you find a new job. I would definately look to get a better job and move on.

I wouldn't go on the sick, I know that being a victim of bullying can make you ill, but you need to stand tall and not let the bullies win. Going off sick will make you worse and make you feel more nervous when its time to go back or start a new work.

I hope it goes well!

Answer 6

I know it is hard, but dig deep and find the courage to go into work on Monday.  You have nothing to be afraid of because you have done nothing wrong.  If this person who is bullying you get's repimanded on Monday they have got no-one else to blame but theirself - they have to take responsibility for their own actions, and no-one else was forcing them to bully you.  Also, you haven't actually told anyone that you are being bullied it has been picked up on by someone, but even if you had told someone you would have been well within your rights.

This person is bullying you for two reasons:-

1)  They see you as an easy target because you are not standing up for yourself

2)  They are purposefully pointing out your mistakes in order to make themself look more competent/capable

Don't worry that there may be a backlash from this person once they have been spoken to about the matter.  More than likely they will stop bullying you and may even make an effort to be nice to you.  If they did approach you thinking you had told someone about the bullying, go straight to the person who spoke to them and tell them what has happened.

If you dislike your actual job then by all means look for another job but if you enjoy your job and it is the bullying that is causing the problem then stick with it, because this matter will get resolved now.  If you gave a job you liked up you would be letting this DESPICABLE person win...........................they would have pushed you out.

Bullying and harassment are taken very seriously and the person carrying out the bullying is the one who is likely to get suspended if they persist.

I know it is stressful and making going to work very unpleasant, but don't let this person win.  If the person get's warned about this now it will more than likely prevent them from doing it to someone else, whereas if they get away with it I'd lay money on it someone else will be on the receiving end later on down the line.  

Stop this person in their tracks, don't just do it for yourself but do it for the future victims of this bully.

I know to you it doesn't feel like it but you have nothing to worry about, because you have done nothing wrong. but the other person has.

This is what ACAS says about bullying:-

Should my employer attempt to protect me from bullying at work?

Your employer should ensure that all workers understand that bullying means "offensive, intimidating, malicious or insulting behaviour, an abuse or misuse of power through means intended to undermine, humiliate, denigrate or injure the recipient." It should also be clear that the recipient's feelings about the behaviour is important, even if the perpetrator doesn't realise it is unacceptable.

Your employer should also take all reasonable steps to demonstrate that employees and their managers will not tolerate such behaviour and will deal with whoever is causing the problem.

What can I do about being bullied or harassed?

If you are being bullied or harassed, you should take any action you decide upon as quickly as possible. There are a number of options to consider:

1)  get advice from the Acas helpline, Citzens Advice Bureau or a bullying helpline

2)  talk to colleagues to find out if anyone else is suffering or has witnessed what's happened to you

3)  see someone who you feel comfortable with to discuss the problem, perhaps someone in HR or a company counsellor

talk to your trade union or staff representative

4)  keep a diary of all incidents: record dates, times, witnesses, your feelings, etc

5) keep copies of anything relevant, eg letters, memos, emails, notes of meetings

6) inform your employer of any medical help you seek

7) If you are able, tell the person to stop whatever it is they are doing that causes you distress, as they might be unaware of its effects – you might want to ask someone else to act on your behalf

consider writing a memo to this effect if you can't confront the person

if you make a formal complaint, follow your employer's procedures – if you have a union representative or other adviser, ask them to help you state your grievance clearly

Someone can only bully you if you allow them to do it.  I think you would greatly benefit from a Confidence & Assertiveness Course - run by MIND and often by local adult colleges, it teaches you how to be assertive and how to deal with situations just like this one.

Answer 7

When people bully other people it is generally due to them having a low self esteem about themselves.  I would say this girl is jealous of you.  You need to ask yourself if she wasn't at your work place would you be enjoying your job.  If the answer is yes, stick at it.  Hey everyone makes mistakes - no big deal.  So long you learn from them and move on.  I would say this girl will end up moving on if you ignore her.  It is hard, but as the saying goes "give someone enough rope they hang themselves".  

Good luck

Answer 8

Do what the guy in " wanted " movie does and say " shut the f**k up " real loud.

No seriously, just tell the boss everything and just ignore her. Just say out loud the next time she says your mistake in others and say " why do they need to know my mistake.., whats your point out of this?"

Answer 9

Still go to work, she will be happy to see you leaving. Be professional, ignore her if you can. Send an email to your HR Director and cc one of the most influential person in your company who you think will be be alarmed by your situation. Discuss to them your problem with that bully girl and point out that its affecting your work and ask for their advise. Work harder and show them that you're doing your job well. However, if it all doesn't work, if the authorities do nothing about it, file a resignation. It simply means that they don't care about their employees, they don't care about you, so you don't have anymore reason to stay. You don't deserve it. There's still lots of work out there, just look for it and you'll find it. Goodluck!

Answer 10

Stand up for yourself. Tell the girl that enough is enough...if she has an issue with you, ask her to pull you into the office with your boss.

Answer 11

If I was looking for employees, I'd avoid you like the plague if I'd seen that you had gone on the sick whilst job hunting. Sorry, but this is the way a lot of people act & it's just not right.

There's a fine line between bullying & reprimanding someone in the correct manner.

If you're weepy & nervous, I suggest you see a doctor - the inability to face people is a medical symptom, not a reason to avoid work. What happens if you were treated in a similar manner in your next job? You have to face whatever issues you have with yourself, as well as any issues you have with colleagues, or vice - versa

Sorry, no broadband last night, I didn't see your response - I've worked in a multinational company for 20 years in the past, so yes, I've been through all of the meetings, confrontations, complaints, etc., from BOTH sides. I'm just saying that you need to think of the consequences of what you're going to do on Monday. You need to think of the impact your actions will have on your future. Stay at home & look for a job elsewhere, and your self esteem will get lower, it'll play on your mind & you'll have too much time to think about it.

Go and see your manager and explain what's happening & that it's forcing you to apply for a different job & see what the response is, but be prepared for the eventuality that he may see things from a different point of view, and may not side with you - if that's the case, you need to avoid thinking that they're gnging up on you & examine the possibility that you may be in the wrong.

Go armed with this knowledge & you'll be prepared for any eventuality.

I'm very pleased that you bothered to reply to me in such a sensible manner, it shows a presence of mind rarely seen on YA! I never know whether I'm responding to a 'spoilt kid' type that just wants agreement & reassurance - I see this is not the case with you.

Good luck on Monday, email me & let me know how things go. Feel free to contact me if you need any advice or you'd like a letter wording if you don't feel up to discussing this at work face to face.

Answer 12

Hey you, you've done nothing wrong and yes speak to your boss and tell her how you feel.  Please don't let this awful woman win, hold your head up high and carry on doing your job to the best of your ability - don't let this pathetic excuse of a woman beat you, be strong and stand your ground! Good Luck and please don't ever let anyone make you feel this low again!!!  (Loz's partner Caz)

Answer 13

You have rights in law as an employee under the "equlity & human rights". They can not sack or susspend you!

In law as an employee your employer has a duty to protet you from abuse and harm be that mental abuse or bulleying!

If you feel unwell contact nhs direct for advice Now! They will; arrange an urgent appointment with your doctor who if he considers right will sign you off sick.

Whilst off sick contat your union rep (if you have one), if not ontact ACAS. THE ADVISORY CONILIATION ARBITRATION SERVICE.

You will find there number at www.acas.org.uk If not go your local CAB OFFICE who will advise you further of your rights

Your employer must act to resolve this matter for you, its thire duty in law!

Do not resign, the longer you stay in a job the better your chance of finding new employment or even promotion within your company

Before you go sick you should consider askng for compasinate leave whilt your employer deals with the matter in hand.

Most of all remmember you have rights, use them.

Do all you can to remain in your job. Times r hard and the company will have to retrain someone else if you leave. That will cost them money, when we have hard times as we have! Well money talks point this out to your manager.

Im not a manager im a retired MD of a Major UK Property/facilaties management PLC looking after some 400 staff. As well as paying staff top rates of pay and maintaining good incentives for staff.

We took care of Major high street names like Toni & Guy, W. H Smith, Habitat UK, and The defence houseing executive. Responding to brakeins, floods, ram raids and we even delt with the boming of Eailing Broadway shopping center in late 1999 by the REAL IRA.

Take my advie i know it hard but you hold all the strong cards, Your employer must act with speed and make sure you do not come to harm in the work place. Thats uk law!

If you like my answer onsider supporting my cause

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It a very worthy cause and all funds raised got direct to charity you an even go to the on line shop

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Answer 14

Saying go in on monday and dont worry about is easy for me to say given that I'm not in the situation. But unfortunately this is the only way forward. If you pull a sicky on monday your just delaying the inevitable. Go in, let him talk to her, see if anything changes over the coming days, if she continues, inform your supervisor that you wont be in work, telling him why and also that your going to see your G.P to get some time off for SRI (stress related illness) lay it on thick. Inform your supervisor that you will be going over his head on this as having told him of the problem it was not resolved.

Failing that, punch her lights out!

Good luck.

Answer 15

Don't allow yourself to be a victim. This bully has no right to make you unhappy, or to force you to move on. Make sure the next time she has a go at you, that she does it in front of people, then take a deep breath, and let rip! You need to tell her politely, and quite loudly that it is completely unprofessional for her to have a go at you in front of the others. Going sick with 'stress' is the cowards way out, and you can be sure she will harp on about you and your 'imaginary' illness. You have to stand up for yourself now, as wherever you work you will face bullies, and its not much of a life to keep running away. You have the backing of your boss, and that is more than some have. Good luck and give the cow h**l!!!!!

Answer 16

what a loser, do a good job and you won't have a problem

Answer 17

employers have a duty to protect their employees from bullying and they should be sorting this person out. if i were you i would go in with my head held high and tell her you will be taking it further if she does not stop it. Be professional and take her into another room in private. Dont get yourself a poor attendance record because of her, this will affect your chances of getting another job. good luck

Answer 18

Ignore this girl as much as you can.  The bullying might stop once the boss has had a word with her.  I know it's horrible being in a job where you're being picked on but you've done nothing wrong so be strong and hold your head up high on monday.  You'll only be there until you find another job which hopefully will be soon and you'll be fine.  If it doesn't stop then thing of taking sick leave due to stress.  Talk to your personnel dept, it's their job to look after their staff.