I am cheating on my wife for more than 10 years. Is it wrong and how to stop?

Question

I am cheating on my wife for more than 10 years. Is it wrong and how to stop?

Answer 1

I would generally say that it's wrong, unless it was established from the beginning of the marriage that this sort of behaviour was acceptable (which is almost certainly not the case). In my opinion, you should tell your mistress that you shouldn't be seeing her anymore because you are married. If you make a commitment to be with someone for life, you should honour and uphold that commitment. I cannot give more specific advice because I don't know the facts (e.g. has your wife deserted you, is she abusing you?), but the right thing to do is probably to tell your wife, to make it up to her and, if she leaves you, accept your fate.

Answer 2

I'm seeing a pattern here of a cheating wife of 10 years and now the cheating husband.

Stop wasting people's time.  Or, let your audience know that you are NOT one in the same so they may believe you.

If I'm wrong about this I apologize, it's just an uncanny coincidence...so I'll repeat my answer to "amber" and you can replace the male and female wording:

You're not going to like this answer, but it will help you to seek help and NOT turn back. Promise. Here goes:

Go to a safe place where you can both talk uninterrupted. Then, tell him you've had an addiction problem for 10 years now. Tell him your addiction is a combination of s*x, attention getting and drama. Tell him it's an adrenaline rush that you can't seem to stop. Tell him you love him, that you need and want help, and beg him to help you to help yourself.

Before you have this talk (and it will be a doozie), research some treatment/psychiatric options and tell him you would like his input on how to go about healing a) your life and b) your marriage.

If he walks away, and he may, let him. If he gets mad, don't fight with him - remember you're in the wrong. He may or may not come around. After you've gotten some much needed psychiatric help (and nothing is wrong with admitting a problem and needing help), then you may have the opportunity to work on the problems in your marriage. I would venture to guess that,

1) your husband is aware of your cheating and has serious issues that allows him to stay stuck in an untrustworthy, broken marriage.

2) you want him to find out so you can work on you all's problem.

3) your cheating is causing you to have trust issues as well. I mean you have to wonder if every one is cheating if you do it.

4) that your insecurities by needing the s*x and adoration of other men will leave you vulnerable and depressed once you stop this damaging behavior.

Most of all, you are in a good place to change your life. I believe you can do it if you set your mind to it and with lots of effort on your part. Keep the focus on you. Take time to get right with your life and your marriage - in that order. You'll get old soon enough, and no one (that you'd want anyway) will give you a second look, much less want to sleep with you. You will be alone, and with the same problem. So get help now while you're still young and while you still have a chance.

Answer 3

Afte 10 years what has changed that you would want to stop?  You wouldn't be having an affair if you were happy at home.

Answer 4

if you have been cheating on your wife for more than a year you should let your wife be free of you she don't need that ****

the more you stay with her the more you are hurting her



sounds like your justa jerk that shouldn't be married to begin with

if you cant keep s*x between you and your wife

you have no right to be married to her

Answer 5

I think u know it's wrong and this question is an attention seeking made up piece of ****. 2 points to me

Answer 6

Yes, that's wrong. You can start mending your ways by respecting her enough to tell her what you've been doing.

However it's handled from there is up to her and you.

Answer 7

You should tell ur wife , u are obviosly not happy ,does the woman u are having a affair with no u are married ? well tell ur wife and talk it out or just ask 4 a devorse ..x

Answer 8

if you have cheated for that long you obviously are not happy being with her so get a divorce  

Answer 9

YOU KNOW ITS WRONG..SO WHY ASK? How comes it has taken you 10 years to realise its wrong?

Answer 10

Ummm..

YEAH IT'S WRONG

But

Your choice - My view is that you married your wife because you loved her.. if you are cheating on her it ovbiousley means you don't love her, and love someone else - Get a divorce from your wife - tell her the truth and end it, then go with the person you cheating on her with - if it makes you happy, but this is a BIG decision!!

Answer 11

ive been on the receiving end of this type of thing he wasnt having an affair he was sleeping around for years with i think anyone who would i feel really sorryfor your wife and dont understand how she hasnt found out and kicked you into touch,i had just given birth to my secnd baby when i found out and was as you can imagine very emotional but beleive me he knew he basically begged me for forgivness,7 years on and im still with him he doesnt go out himself anymore and is a dotting dad and husband but i will never let my guard down i cant and wont ever really forgive him so why am i still here i dont really know  that myself so the anser to what you are doing is you know its wrong and only you can end it if you love your wife or do you love your mistress more 10 years is a long time so iits about time you started being fair on the 2 women in your life and stop thinking about yourself its them you are hurting not yourself or ou wouldnt do it.

Answer 12

Yes, it is wrong.  Do you really think this is normal behavior for a married man?  Honesty and truth has not been a part of the more than 10 years.  Guilt makes you stop.  Having a conscience makes you think of consequences which make you stop.  Where is the commitment to your wife? At this point, is stopping an option.  Accepting and cofessing that you have been doing something terribly wrong is.  You owe this to your wife.  You have kept it a secret all these years.  Start by saying, My name is XXXX, I am a cheater....

Answer 13

Well, after 10 years cheating on your wife with your mistress and on your mistress with your wife, you have a double problem.  You are a rat twice over.  Your faithful wife has been cheated by you and your faithful mistress is now about to get the chop because you are bored with her or you can't hack the deceit.  I reckon you've clogged up your arteries with all that skiving so I reckon you will have your comeupance healthwise in due course.

Answer 14

you *******  ******* why do that you mean thing stop at once if i was your wife and i didnt know i would ask why are you out late you where long coming home blah blah blah

and when iv'e been with some one 4 a long time i can tell when there lieing and one day i would pack up all your stuff so when you come home it will be ready for you

and go on a trish show or something or if not  STAY WITH YOUR WIFE!!!    and the person your having s*x with she's just as bad as you!!!!!

Answer 15

take out this part of the second question in the sentence-Is it and how to

Answer 16

you dirty dog!!

Answer 17

chances are you arent gonna stop if you have been doing it for 10 years...it isnt fair to her