I am considering single parent adoption...can anyone give me their opinion?

Question

I want to adopt a child through the foster care system. I have wanted to do this for a number of years. It's not because of infertility or sheer loneliness. I want to give a child a chance, hope, a life. I am emotionally stable and financially secure. I literally raised six of my younger siblings after my parents passed away. I understand what it takes to raise a child and am willing to learn even more. Please just tell me: is it selfish? I don't feel that way, but some people have expressed that I am taking away from a child's chance at a better life. What do you think?

Answer 1

I have to say that you sound like a very giving and unselfish person. If you want to adopt a child more power to you, it just means not only do you have an open mind but an open heart . Good luck and I wish you well with your future son or daughter:-)

Answer 2

There are entirely too many children out there who need a stable home and even one loving parent.  Go for it.  Good luck.  

Answer 3

If you are adopting a child from foster care then you are rescuing a child.  Everyone wants babies and toddlers.  If you're willing to take a child pre-school age or older or a child who is special needs or another race or even siblings to keep them together then you are doing a wonderful and unselfish thing.  You won't be taking anything from anyone.  The longer a child stays in foster care the less likely he or she will be adopted.

Children in foster care often have emotional problems due to abuse or neglect that they may have suffered.  Do be aware that the foster care system is notoriously slack on giving you a decent heads up on what you will be dealing with.  In their zeal to get children adopted they don't always tell parents what they are getting in to.  My aunt and uncle adopted 2 unrelated children through foster care. They adopted a 12 year old boy and 2 years later a 9 year old girl.  They were told the boy had been in and out of foster care most of his life.  His mother was divorced and living with her boyfriend the last time he was taken into foster care and his mother lost permanent custody.  They were told he was abused by the mother and her boyfriend and he had taken beatings to the head that had caused brain damage to him.  What they weren't told was that the mother and boyfriend were also sexually abusing him.  They should have been informed of everything so that the child could get the therapy he needed.  they had him for almost 3 years before they found out about the sexual abuse from his last foster mother.  She was concerned about him getting help and found out who they were so she could tell them about his past because she knew the foster care system wouldn't tell the new parents.

The girl was an orphan with no family.  her issues were she had been shuffled from home to home for several years before they found a family for her so she wasn't too trusting of people.  She didn't have the issues that her adopted brother had.

Just be aware you may be getting a child who needs a little extra TLC and maybe some professional help.  And good luck to you.

and if you want to know how the kids turned out.  The boy was a bit slow because of the brain damage and he had some mobility problems.  he got therapy for his sexual abuse and emotional issues and he's now married with several children--he's a great dad and he's a minister now.  The girl is in graduate school studying physical therapy.

Answer 4

i think thats great what you want to do.

you wouldn't be taking anything away from

the child. as long as you love as your own

child and always their & you already know how

to take care of kids. i wouldn't listen to your

friends.

Answer 5

wow, this is the most UNselfish thing u could do. i think it's great that you're wanting to do this. I'll tell you what, I myself grew up in foster care, I just aged out when i turned 18 last year. And i wanted nothing more than for SOMEONE that i could call my family. Anyone, a mom, a dad, mom&dad, doesn't matter. you can't listen to these people who are telling u that ur taking away the childs chance at a better life.  because believe me, if I had been adopted, I wouldn't have gone thru most of the things i did. foster care is not fun, and no child wants to feel abandoned. the fact that ur single doesn't matter. Single parents are just as capable of being great parents as married couples. So take it from someone who has been down that road. You would be giving a child the best possible thing in the world. love. so more power to you; I admire u for wanting to do this. go for it and i really hope it works out for you. and thank you for wanting to give a child hope and a better life. People like you are very few these days, and there wouldnt be a foster care overload if there were more willing, caring people like you. Do what you want, and what your heart tells you. I hope everything works out, and God bless. =)

Answer 6

I don't think it is selfish at all.

All those kids are looking for is a home and parent(s) to call their own.There are many single people who adopt and quit frankly, it's better than their current lives living in foster care.

You are giving a child a better life...not taking away chances.

Don't listen to comments like that.Do what you feel is right.

Good luck!

Answer 7

No! It isn't selfish!

Selfish would be seeing a need for these children who are waiting for homes, and denying them the home, love and family they need, want and deserve.

Go for it! You're heart is in the right place, and,. if you're able to give one of these children the chance at a happy life, they do so!