I am curious about adoption?

Question

Okay, my husband and I are both looking at adoption? Have any of you adopted a child? What should I know before I adopt a child as well as what are the cons to adopting a child?

I am a female police officer so it is very difficult to carry a child for 9 months in this job. I figured there are enough children out there that need a loving family to raise them as our own. Any advice would be great!

Answer 1

There are many, many people on this site who have adopted!  That's why it is called "Adoption"!  : )

Just spend some time scrolling down the adoption questions and you will find an answer to almost every question you could possibly have about adoption!

Adoption = Love

Answer 2

God has a plan for the uncared for Child. That is why he had added knowledge and wisdom to the human brain so that they create a path for the downtrodden. Adoption is a nice and beautiful word to hear. Although I have never adopted a single child, I'd want to help tho with something useful to keep them up and prepare for their future life. There is nothing to bar you from adopting a child except that you have to stick to the rules and regulations the center has provided. You can just keep the child you adopted in the place where he/she belongs and provide them with monetary help for them alone as if they are staying with you. I guess when the child has come to the exact age where you can take home to treat them as your own. That is where the happiest moments starts.

Go ahead...do the good...you will be repaid for your good. God will provide you for the good deeds.

Answer 3

Adoption is a fantastic way of giving and recieving at the same time! It will not always be easy, and you may not bond straight away, however, i suggest if your going to adopt, be honnest with the child. Let them know that they are adopted and dont keep secrets from them.

Cons, could be that it is expensive and takes a long time usually. but the pros....there isnt enough time or space to let you know them all.

Also you have to be prepared.... prepared for the child to one day say, i want to contact my bio parents, and be strong enough in your relationship with your child to understand that they aren't looking for another family.

Answer 4

Good for you for considering adoption.  I've had two biological sons, have one foster daughter (all three teens) and adopted two daughters internationally  (one a teen & one a pre-teen).

I can't picture my family without having adopted.  The girls were meant to be in our family.  I can't imagine my life without them.  They enrich my life & are my babies.  

You can adopt through the foster system.  Go to:

http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/reslist...

to look up your state so you can find out what the requirements and process is.

You can do private domestic adoption.  You go through a lawyer or agency to do this.  It might be open, closed or somewhere in between (meaning the amount of interaction you have with the birth mother might be a lot...none or somewhere in between).

You can adopt internationally.  Go to:

http://travel.state.gov/family/adoption/...

to look at country-specific info.  Choose which country you'd like to adopt from then Google that country's name and "international adoption agency" to find the agencies with programs in that area.  

If you do international or private/domestic, here's a good way to choose an agency or attorney.  Start with the list of possible agencies/attorneys you could work with.  Begin an Excel spreadsheet to compare information on each program.  Narrow it down to about five choices.  Call each one of the five and interview them.  Ask them about their programs, processes, requirements, procedures, etc.  Ask for references & check the references -- ask hard questions like what did you & didn't you like about the agency or process, what would you change, would you use them again?  Go on the internet & find others who've used them & ask those folks the same questions.  Check the Better Business Bureau to see if they have complaints & how they were or were not resolved.  Then make your choice.  Your gut will tell you which way to go.

God bless you as you travel this road!  It's not an easy one, but it's an awesome one!

Answer 5

Kudos to you!  Adoption is a wonderful journey full of ups & downs, but it is worth every moment of it.  We adopted a little boy (6 months) thru an independent adoption several years ago.  The best advice I can give you prior to adoption is to stay patient and keep your chin up.  :)  Remember to make time for you and your husband through the process also.  

Also, during the process, it's important to obtain as much health information as you can from the bio family, as well as insure your child has had newborn screening done.  Our son has a medical condition (that we knew of thanks to the newborn screening, but not all states test for it).  As adoptive parents, I always recommend finding out if your child had the testing because some of the genetic disorders can be very harmful if undetected.  But my son's health has been manageable because we knew of the disorder (sort of like diabetes can be).  

The cons - it was sometimes frustrating thru the process to go through all of the paperwork, agency visits, etc.  But again, it was all worth it in the end.

I think the biggest struggle for us as a family is the same that we would have regardless of the adoption.  My husband is a police officer and just trying to get into a family schedule has been the most stressful thing for me as a Mom.  :)  I can appreciate your reasons for wanting to adopt!  Please email me off list if I can be of any further assistance.  

Good luck!

Answer 6

Adoption is an absolutely amazing journey- one that always has a happy ending, although there may be some bumps in the road to get to that point.  The best advice I can give to someone waiting to adopt is to have an open mind through it all and do NOT have ANY expectations.  It's so easy to get an idea in your mind about how you want everything to go, what kind of relationship you want to have with your birthmother, when you want to see the baby, if you want to be present for the delivery, etc, etc, etc.  All of that stuff is entirely out of your control, so just sit back and enjoy the ride-it is truly amazing.  I think that the lack of control was one of my biggest cons- until you have that little bundle in your arms, and the birthmom has signed the final relinquishment papers, anything can happen- your heart is literally on the line (where as when you give birth to a baby there is no one that can take it away from you).  

We used American Adoptions (americanadoptions.com) and had an absolutely wonderful experience through the entire process with them and now have a beautiful 18 month old boy to show for it.  I woudn't trade him or our experience for anything in the world.  Good luck to you!

Answer 7

It is a great act of mercy, if you ask me. I've known a childless couple back in the 90s who went all the way to the Middle East to adopt, and they returned with a baby girl after having received her at the age of 12 days!

As to what you should know; I guess the child's health comes first. You certainly wanna know if your child's gonna live...healthy, or if it has some kind of hidden illness that might (God forbid) lead to an early death; a situation which will require you to act immediately to ensure proper treatment, if it is a curable illness. It is always likely that it has taken something from its biological parents, like AIDS for instance; other serious illnesses that would soon effect its life. Be very cautious about that. Of course I do not imply that you should dump the choice of child, but it's only the natural precaution one should be sure to take. Go for all kinds of tests; know what it may be allergic to. This can be a very serious problem when you least expect.

The legal procedure; you don't wanna be "buying" or "shopping" for a baby. The couple I knew faced the bitter reality that the people whom were supposed to deliver the child to them were in fact "selling" the creature! Which of course, was morally something they wouldn't concur on. They went through the h**l of legal formalities with corrupt people where they had to stick a handfull in every pocket, and they finally aborted that first attempt which involved a four-year-old male child, but did not lose hope, and finally the right deal came from a group of Belgian nuns, who got them the child of their dreams and she's now 15 years old; a daughter whom they've been so attached to from the first day as though she were their very own.

The issue of preparing your child stage by stage to know the truth (and handle it) one day. You don't want it to discover it by chance or out of suspicion and curiosity; that would do your family more harm than good. You go for specialists on this; I'm sure there are good people who'll help you out very effectively.

They went through a lot but finally came through; I hope you soon would, too. Good luck.

Answer 8

I think the biggest disadvantage of adoption is sometimes you don’t know your child’s medical history. I also agree that you should have your adopted baby or young toddler, have a screening for any medical conditions they might have.  Also the wait can be stressfully sometimes it can take a few years to even get matched, this isn’t always the case. I’ve read of some people over at adoption.com that were matched a few weeks after their home study was approved. But you just never know.   Also the reclaim period that birthparents can get the baby back even after its placed with you depending on your agency or state it can be as short as a few days or as long as a few months.  

Good luck.