I am depressed. i need your help please!!?

Question

i want to get married to my bf but he is not divorced yet. he has filed but not finalized. i work on the weekends while he is free. he has his kidsevery other weekend so i don't see them. we call each other all the time. i want to know what he is doing without me. is it sad that we call each other like every five minutes. i get sad if he doesn't call me. i need to know that he is not cheating on me with his hopefully soon to be ex wife. i just want to marry him. he is my life. i gave up all my family and friends for him.

what are the chances of me marrying him and what is the survival rate of our marriage?

Answer 1

You need to talk with your boyfriend and simply ask when is it going to happen.  I don't know about all these phone calls but he must be willing to make you feel comfortable in this situation, and that's a good thing.  Sounds like you have a good chance.

Answer 2

You sound very NEEDY, which is not a good base for a marriage. Until you feel good about yourself,you will probably not be ready. The fact that you say he's your whole life,& you talk on the phone costantly,leads me to wonder about your feelings of self worth.He may feel closed in by you.And,you gave up your whole family for him ???? What's up with that ? Talk to a professional counselor,since you may benefit from that for your future happiness. BOL to you.

Answer 3

no matter how much he says he loves you, as with ANY man with kids who may or may not be divorced yet, you always want to give these relationships time... i started dating my man while he was finalizing his divorce... i loved him more than anything... i was also finalizin gmy divorce when i met him... and even now, over a year later, we still dont live together.. we are divorced, yes.. we are madly in love, yes... but he has kids.. they come first.. it may be even another year before we decide to get married, or even move in together... you need to have lots of patience... and trust.. why would you want to marry someone if you're not even sure they arent cheating behind your back? think about it... patience my dear, patience... thats what it all comes down to.. when the time comes, things will be right, but for the sake of those kids, give it time!!! because in all reality, they are all that matter right now

Answer 4

You sound desperate and paranoid...that's no way to start a marriage.  If you do not trust him, why are you marrying him??

Answer 5

Suvial rate???  0%  Without trust you have nothing!  

Answer 6

you sound like you are paranoid and worried that he isn't over his ex. get some therapy before taking this relationship to the next level.  

Answer 7

You didn't say HE wants to get married.  

Answer 8

Not to add to your depression....but it sounds like there are bigger problems then getting married......it sounds like you don't trust him...you don't have a lot of time together.....you don't really know his children...you need to get your family and friends back so you have a support system....I just see a lot of red flags...you need to sit down and have a talk with him...that is your best bet

Answer 9

You need to admit to yourself that he is NOT your boyfriend. He is still HER husband!

Answer 10

listen to yourself - you have to be in constant contact with him in order to function! is that healthy?

you don't trust him because you cheated with him and guess what, you never will trust him. further, you probably can't trust him, because you know he knows all the little games and strategies for cheating and that when he finds someone else (another you!) who is more fun and fawns over him, he will leave you and your kids too.

if you want to make this relationship work you have to either resolve the trust issues (which i think will always be in the back of your mind) or you wikll have to find a new job where you can be with him 24 hours a day. since you can't do the first, and he will get sick of you if you try the 2nd, i would say the chances of this working are pretty low.

and is he that great that he was worth giving up your friends and family for him? why did you have to do that?

Answer 11

you should let him go...he is officially still taken.  if he does divorce you can pick up where you left off.  put your self in the other woman's shoes...you only know what he tells you and he may just be saying those things to get in your pants...