Question:

I am engaged to a man that has two kids anges two and six. He took my daughter as his own and we we one baby..

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I haven taken care of his kids like they were my own for 2 years now. They live with us full time except every other weekend they go to thier moms. Everytime I do something for his children they don't appreciate nor does he. They always backtalk me and pay me no mind. His 2 1/2 yr old never gets in trouble she gets by with everything(note my daughter is only 9 months older) and she still gets treated like a baby alot and constantly crying for nothing. When his children aren't here we get along just fine but as soon as they are at home its like he is a different person. He treats us like we deserve to be treated until they are here. The 2 1/2 yr old is every one in his family's pick (note our child is only 7 month old). Him and his Mom tells me they feel bad cus she has never had a Mom but what am I?? What about the Mom that has visitation with?? What about my daughter she has never had a Daddy up until we met when she was 21 months old?? Him and his wife were together until..........

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6 ANSWERS


  1. give them lots of affection, and communicate your feelings 2 your husband


  2. It sounds to me like there are more than 4 children in this picture. You seriously need to get a grip on yourself. This odd resentment and jealousy over a BABY (she is a baby!) is ridiculous. If you want your fiance and his mom to know you are that childs mother, you need to start acting like a grown up and be one. You asked for the advice....you got it.

  3. Hunny

    Life gives you CLUES - and I don't think they can get any bigger than this...............it sounds like a bad situation that is only going to get worse.........I'd get out now....don't commit yourself to a marraige (which has a 50% chance of divorce because he's been married already and it didn't work) that is already doomed...........

    Clearly HE and HIS FAMILY are not over the breakup of his previous marraige - otherwise they'd be treating you with more respect - you DESERVE respect - why don't you demand it? You need to have more self esteem and stand up for your self.

  4. Honestly...I think you're not thinking clearly. I think you're being overly sensitive and taking things personally that really aren't personal. Are you insecure in your relationship? It sounds like maybe you are jealous (in a way) of his children? I'm not trying to criticize, so I'm sorry if this is offensive. I have always found that the best thing to do is to put yourself in the other person's shoes.  So I think you should think about everyone involved in the situation, and imagine what it would be like to be them. Before you get upset or angry at anyone, put yourself in their place. Doing this may help you to understand why certain people behave the way you do. You are only seeing your own point of view right now. I mean, you're complaining about a BABY. It sounds like things have been rocky for his children...you can't expect them to be perfect if they have had an unstable home life. Imagine if your biological mother had left when you were only a baby. Sure, you can love a stepmom, but you would still feel rejected in some way. And you asked if it's normal for him to treat his kids better than yours...do you treat your kids better than you treat his? From what I have seen, it is normal. You guys should try to treat all the kids equally. But I think it's normal for a parent to feel more attached to their own biological child. Most importantly, you need to discuss all this with your fiance. Tell him how you feel...But don't act accusing or as if it's all his fault. If you do that, he will probably just get defensive and mad. Make sure you explain everything in a way that is not blaming it all on him/his kids/his family. Good luck!!

  5. Sounds like you and your husband would really benefit from some marriage counseling. I don't think there is any way to resolve this without the help of a professional to sit you both down and let you talk about all of your issues. That way he will have to listen and you can both work on your problems together. Otherwise you will just continue to feel awful each time his kids are around and come to resent the kids and your husband. Things could just get worse if you don't get some help now. Do it for your family!

  6. this is a hrad one. the kids are mad because your not their real mom this is not your falt your man feels bad inside about what his kids are going throw so he takes it out on you and your kids most likey he doesnt even know he is doing this. you need to sit down with your man and tell him to back you up when he underminds you in frount of the kids that it only makes things worse you need to tell him how you feel and let him know you need him to work on this with you. the fact that they go see their real mother is also making things worse she doesnt like you and is telling the kids bad things about you. then they see your man back that up and think even less of you . you must stop this asap if he doesnt want to help you work this out its only going to get worse for you.

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