I am extremely SHY to the point where I don't say a word?

Question

I don't know why I am like that. But, if somebody talks to me I will talk. If nobody says nothing to me, I won't talk(most around boys)!

If I am around somebody that I know, I will talk all day but there is just certain people that I won't talk around. I really don't know why but, I am extremely shy!!

I'm always worrying about what other people think about me...Ever since I was physically and mentally abused, I never really talked much after that. I mean I do talk but, I am extremely shy. I didn't use to be like that.

QUESTION: How do I break away from the shyness, any links, ANY ADVICE?

please don't say "just quit being shy and get out there or be yourself".....

Answer 1

Practice.  

Before you go somewhere, think of things you could say that are appropriate to the situation.  You can talk about the weather or ask where room 205 is what the English assignment is for tomorrow or what's the score in the game or what music are you listening to ....it depends on where you are and with whom. If you've come prepared with some things to say, you won't be tongue-tied when the opportunity to talk comes along. It might be easiest at first to talk to someone else who is either alone or not participating in other people's conversation or who seems to be as shy as you are.  

Ask yourself what the worst possible thing is that could happen if you speak up.  Are you worried about being abused again?  I get the impression that that's not the problem, but maybe you still feel that if you say something, there could be a bad reaction.  Relax. Try it just once.  Most likely when you say something, the person will answer. People just do. Then you'll answer back, and so on.  

After you've done this a few times, you'll feel more confident about social situations.  If you don't, and if you think your past experience with abuse might be part of the problem, you may need to deal with that with the help of a counselor.

Good luck. You can do this.

Answer 2

I used to be like that, too.  I still am but not as much.  I realized that if I didn't say anything that nothing would ever go the way I wanted it to go.  If I talk it still might not go my way but at least I tried.  I also realized how much more fun I have when I'm not thinking about what other people think of me.  Now I don't care at all what others think of me I say what I want to say and if they don't like then they don't have to listen :).  I realized that they all feel the same way.  

Answer 3

I used to be the same way. I was a chatter box around my friends but when it came to new people I wouldn't speak. It's cripling sometimes, I know. Really the only thing that helped me was getting out there and being myself. I know it sounds cheesy, but it works. Get involved in clubs and activities you enjoy that your friends are in or can join with you. You meet new people that way. Other than that just work on it slowly say hi to stranger that you pass. You'll probably never see them again so it doesn't matter if you look stupid. lol. You'll be fine. =]

Answer 4

I am just the same in real life. (not online tough).  Do more research on the subject. Millions of people are just the same. And major in Psych if you want to learn even more. That's what I'm doing.

advice:http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/ra...

http://www.sffworld.com/forums/archive/i...

http://www.bemyastrologer.com/courseabou...

http://talentdevelop.com/introversion-r....

Answer 5

umm just smioe alot but not in a freaky way so that people will be like draawn to you and they wont be intimidate.but yea just smile and they might come to you.and if they dont just think to yourself ...to go say hi to them and they wont ignore you and if they do they are just jerks and you probably dont wanna be friends with them anyways mmkay.goodluck.i am like that somtimes too.hehe

Answer 6

well, i think i have a social phobia. And i got over part of by shoving myself out there. Like for  example: im afraid of going shopping cause theres soo many people for the first like 30 mins i was shaking and standing by my mum and holding on to her but, then after a lil while i got used to it and started roaming by myself.

I'm the same way, im loud around my friends but quiet around other girls. I'm not shy around the boys cause i know there not as means as the other girls.

I still have to get over the school thing but, i just have to deal with it. you know, just make yourself uncomfortable till your used to it

on and i started having this fear after a bad expirience at school, everyone hated me and talked about me and idk tht was the worst year of my school life

Answer 7

I am exactly the same way.  I have a hard time even just saying hi to people.  Just try to smile and say a little.  You don't have to say very much.  Just practice talking to other people and you will gradually get better.  Try starting small conversations with people. This tends to take a while, though.  Good luck!

Answer 8

What you have is social anxiety and don't worry because I have it to what I usually do is push myself to talk to people so I don't look so stupid and don't feel scared!

Answer 9

I am the same way! I have Social Anxiety. Except it wasn't from abuse or anything, I guess I was just born that way.

The way I deal with it is that I remember that you only get one life. You can't spend it caring what people say about you. Everyone is insecure about themselves. No one really cares how you act. You just have to realize that. I know its hard (it took me like 5 years) but you have to accept yourself and realize that it doesn't matter what people think about you, it matters what you think about you.

Just try talking to people one by one. Start by saying hi to a person in your science class you barely know and then go on from there.

-I hope I helped