I am feeling sad.I am feeling sad...Any good jokes or histories to lift my spirits up?

Question

I am feeling sad.I am feeling sad...Any good jokes or histories to lift my spirits up?

Answer 1

Eat some cake lol makes me happy

Answer 2

While working the other day I saw a man by a building with his child. The child was running around like a little mad man in circles around his father. Just then, the man reared his head back and began to clear his throat of phlem and prepared to spit it on the ground, first examining the position of his child so not to hit him with it. As he unloaded the nasty buisness from his mouth, the child ran directly to the other side of the man and caught the load of saliva directly in the eye. The cries of disgust from the child were what really made the moment.

Thta was probably one of the funniest things I've seen. lol

Answer 3

Hm snippet from a conversation with  my dad

Dad:"I'm sure that that doesn't matter, after all you think Dad's all wet anyhow"

Me:"Nah, just washed up!" (regarding him going White water rafting)

Answer 4

  Enjoy this joke.

- Boring Jokes

A man was on a train, mumbling to himself, smiling, and then raising his hand. After a moment of silence, he would go through the same process … mumble, smile, raise hand, silence.

A woman was observing this, and after about an hour, she said, “Pardon me, sir. Is anything wrong?”

“Oh, no,” the first man replied. “It’s just that long trips get boring so I tell myself jokes.”

“But why, sir,” asked the woman, “do you keep raising your hand?”

“Well,” said the man, “that’s to interrupt myself because I’ve heard that one before.”

Answer 5

Why did the chicken cross the fence?

Because the chicken went to go the bar and asked the bartender for a blonde and the blonde said "f**k you" and the chicken gave her the finger and left.