I am finding it really hard to cope with these texts

Question

my husband had been getting texts from a girl who he worked with. For the last two weeks they have got quite risky from what i can see from her part and he did not reply to the ones asking for s*x. but he has deleted most of them off and told me about them. I dont think he has done anything apart from flirting ( you know carry on type jokes) but i am finding it hard to forget and move on. i feel really down and sometimes dont want to be living anymore.he has admitted he was silly and does not know why he encouraged it or replied ? why do some men feel the need to do this ( is it their ego )

any kind words to help appreciated. x please no horrible answers x

Answer 1

Maybe he liked the attention, or the fact that hes "still got it". All guys like someone having a crush on them. Maybe he thought a flirt would be harmless. Seeing as hes been honest with you, taken it no further, theres nothing for you to worry about. In fact you can probably feel better knowing that he would come clean like that.

Youre parents are right. If you are feeling this way you could always set your mind at rest and just have a conversation with him. He sounds like an understanding kinda guy :) Good luck.  

Answer 2

The question you should ask him is how would he feel (honestly) if it was you that had been receiving texts from a male admirer? Would he be as understanding?

I don't think your feelings unreasonable and he needs to take them seriously.

Good luck

Answer 3

That first sentence is messed up. "My husband..... a girl". This sounds like a typical case of boredom. Spice up your life with something crazy or wild. Get his attention by doing something s**y or whatever turns him on. My fiance would not ever let me even complement one of her friends without being scolded for weeks not to mention the awkward silence.  Just anything different and out of the ordinary will get any lover's attention.  

Answer 4

I am sure your husband loves you, but men need to be reassured that they are sexually attractive to other women other than their wives.

May I please offer some advice regarding the girl that is sending the text messages..............she clearly has an attraction for your husband, and no doubt knows he is married. I would demand she have nothing WHATSOEVER to do with your husband........affairs start off with innocent flirting....you and your husband should nip this in the bud!  

This woman has no respect for you, as her husband to stop the communiction, if he does not then I would go down to their place of work and stop the communication myself, in front of her co-workers and employers!

Sorry to seem so abrupt but my friend went through the same thing and they are now trying to rebuild their marriage after her husband started an affair with a co-worker

Good luck

Answer 5

That's a difficult one, maybe he felt flattered that someone other than you found him attractive (when you've been in a relationship for a long time you can kind of forget that you are still good looking to others)

You should speak with him and maybe ask if he would be willing to see a councillor with you, you can get help through your GP, if he doesn't want to go with you then you go alone and speak with someone impartial.

He loves you, he's still with you!!!

Also if she continues like this it's harassment and he should report it to police.

Best

Kezx  

Answer 6

No one here can know, the only person who knows is him.

One thing is for sure, if he was happy with you, he wouldn't be messing about with someone else would he?

Answer 7

Only you know what your instincts tell you hon and always trust your instincts! My daughters partner of seven years was doing the same, they have three boys one of which has just been born, very early and after a very rushed emergency delivery. While she was in the hospital waiting to hear if their baby was going to survive HE was having an affair with the woman who he was sharing flirty texts with. Needless to say she has kicked him to the gutter! She's also incredibly hurt by what he's done. Trust your instincts hon, you're a woman, if it FEELS to you like he could be having an affair then he probably is! We women know these things. Good luck hon.

Answer 8

Saying it's an ego thing is probably a bit strong, as it is nice to feel flattered by someones attention, even if you don't plan to do anything about it. Many women are always trying to look their best so that people think they look nice, and many of them appreciate when they get approving looks in the street from men. Your husband is quite possibly a nice sensitive chap, and would find it hard to tell someone to get lost directly. When it is harmless flirting, it is just fun, but if she asks for s*x outright, it would be hard to suddenly say Get lost, he probably got embarassed and did'nt know how to handle it.

The fact that he told you all about it and didn't reply to the extreme texts, says everything you need to know really. Support him, and help him come up with a nice way to let this girl down gently.

Answer 9

I'm sorry hun but I would not put up with that kind of behaviour.

Yes, I'm sure he does love you but he shouldn't be play flirting with a colleague.  If she is asking for s*x then there is more to it that you are being told.

Why is he deleting these texts if he is telling you about them?

Have you looked in his "sent messages" to see what his replies are?

If I were in your shoes, it would be messing with my head too :(

If you want to continue this relationship then the first thing I would do is get him to change his number and ensure that if you two have some kind of future together, then he should not give his new number to that lady.

I personally would kick him into touch, but that is easy for me to say because I am not you.

Good luck :D