I am gettin married in less than four months and i suffer from social phobia ,,,what must i do?

Question

please dont sugget therapy coz its not available in my city . the weddings in our community are very non- private . there r almost 500-600 people. even after the wedding we r moving to our inlaws house .

its the custom of my husband's family . all this is giving me the jitters ... what maust i do ?

Answer 1

If you are getting married your social phobia must not be too bad. Why don't you two elope?

Answer 2

I assume you have a primary care physician or OB/

GYN?  You should talk to your doctor, they should be able to prescribe and anti anxiety medication to help take the edge off of all the stress you are feeling.

If you truly suffer from a social anxiety disorder, then you should find a reputable psychiatrist then can help you get over it.  IN the meantime talk to your regular doctor.

Answer 3

This is not really a good venue for medical advice. If you aren't seeing a therapist then my recommendation is to see one. If you are seeing one, they are the person to ask. They can offer help, and medication as a last resort (although you don't want to have to rely on that). Good luck!

Answer 4

Work hard at visualizing success.  Think of yourself walking down the aisle, smiling at the people.  Think of yourself smiling and laughing and talking with your husband's family.  The more time you spend thinking about positive outcomes, the more you will expect yourself to have those results.  (If you only think about freaking out, that is all you will do, is freak out!)  So imagine the best result, and hope for the best.  But it is OK to have a plan B - friends can have a paper bag for you to blow into (Think: Runaway Bride), and they can be there to support you in the ways you might need.  

Also, be honest with your husband-to-be - he needs to know your feelings, and that it isn't just cold feet or some kind of scheme to get out of the wedding.  He will be able to help more if he understands.  (You could even have code words so not everyone has to know if you need 10 minutes alone with him in the middle of everything and everyone.)

Answer 5

Ask your doctor to prescribe some anti-anxiety medication. Xanax works wonders.

Answer 6

Practice, practice, practice.  Start by just standing up in front of a couple of friends.  Then say a few words in front of those friends.  Then have them each invite another friend and do the same thing.  See how many people you can get to be your "audience" (make them cookies or something as an incentive) and recite a poem in front of them.  If you do it in baby steps, it won't be so scary.  And being up in front of a few hundred people is no different from 100.  It's nerve-wracking for all brides, but if you ask them, people will be more than happy to help you overcome your fear, and it will be easier.

Answer 7

First of all, therapy for Social Phobia, or Social Anxiety, is readily available almost anywhere.  Since it can be such a debilitating disorder, I would recommend seeking treatment (even if outside your city) because it will be beneficial in the long run.  If weddings in your area generally have 500-600 guests, that indicates a large area where therapy can be obtained.

Secondly, since it is your wedding, why not celebrate your day how you want to?  Consider eloping, or having a small private ceremony, with a large reception/party afterwards.  Your future husband should stand by you on this decision if it will make you feel more at ease and make your wedding day more special and memorable.

Answer 8

Seriously, if you don't want to take Xanax, and yes it does work. Then make sure your fiance is standing where you can see him walking down the aisle. LOCK eyes, and do not look around. I had this same problem. I have to set at the front of the Church on Sundays, because I hate seeing all those people in front of me, makes me nervous, I have social anxiety too. Also in our family we had to live with his parents before hand. I handled it by never coming out of my room, I would not suggest that, but since your obligated to move into his parents house, then you need to tell your future husband your feelings. He is not a mind reader, and can not magically answer or help with something he does not know, that is the first step in a wonderful marriage anyway, open communication. If you do those things you should be fine. Also, I wanted to have a little wine before hand, and our priest stated that if he smelled any liquor on either side, even our attendants, our wedding would be off. So make sure that does not apply if your in need of a little medicinal drink. Hope this helps. GOOD LUCK