I am going nuts, I need advice now!!!!?

Question

My boyfriend went out of town to play music. Well my male best friend flew in town so I would not be alone in this big crazy city of Hollywood that I just moved to.

The agreement was that he would help me with my work and c**p and I would pay for his food, tourist expenses (sightseeing, gas, etc.).

Well I have a spare bedroom for my guests. He takes it upon himself to fall asleep in my bedroom while we are watching t.v. and now he is using my bedroom as his nap room in the day time. I told that he cannot sleep in my bedroom and that he needs to sleep in his guest room that it was disrespectful.

He blew up on me for saying that!!!!!

Now we do not talk at all. He just stays in his guest room, eats food, watches t.v. and that is it.

I am very uncomfortable I really just want him to leave.

I do not want to take him out to eat, etc. due to him yelling at me the other day.

When he first got here I had to explain to him that when I ordered to go

Answer 1

Where is this kid from?? Cali fruit is fresh adn it's good! He's just mad you don't want him and told him to get out of your personal space, ie your bed! Get rid of him quick. You don't need to pay for his food and his attitude nor his sightseeing! Tell him that he needs to shape up until he goes....or the door is right there. More than likely he'll start one of his fits. Then call your bf, your mother, then the police to remove him.

Answer 2

I think your friend is a bit immature.  I would tell him this is the way it is and if you can't deal with it then you need to leave the house today - not August 5th.  It is your place of residence and you don't need all this stress when you're helping someone else out.  See... it would have been better to be alone in that crazy city!  Good luck!

Answer 3

Ok, u say he is your best friend?

Then.. why this hostility?

I would suggest you patch up with him.

I think he is being very childish and not respectful of you.  

But now, instead of making your days and his days miserable, why not be the first one to extend the olive branch.

Go to him, be kind to him, say you are sorry for your part (think back and try to ascertain if there was something u said/did that shouldn't have?) and that u want peace between u both. Then tell him very very kindly how u want things to be. And also, work on coming to a compromise. Staying together warrants that both give in a little and adjust. Take him a dish you made, or go out to eat. Have a good talk. Let him open up. Maybe he has some problems that he is struggling with. Control that ego.

There is no use inviting more trouble by having cold wars...

Even if it doesn't feel right, I'd suggest go ahead and patch up ur friendship. Do some activities together..where u both get to loosen up and have some fun.

The good thing is, atleast he is not laying his hands on u. I hope he has not done anything like that. That would have been a dangerous situation that would have literally warranted u calling 911 on him.

U have not mentioned how your BF is reacting to all this.

I believe he is OK with this arrangement. Maybe even hv ur BF talk to him casually and say hi.

Eitherways, goodluck talking with him. Be the first person to give love and work towards peace and get him to talk. And then really listen to whatever he has to say. Even if u think he is saying wrong, still, let him open up. It's not worth it to be under the same roof and fighting.

See, we have no control over him. But we do have control over our behavior, our action, our reaction. Hence, it is our responsibility to take that first step. Plus, if things get back to good, it'll be for the good of both.

It is extremely nice of u to share your place and even agree to pay for him. It's sad that he is being this way.

But be careful that u don't continue being hostile/angry..

Those situations can spiral and get dangerous.

Goodluck again, and don't worry, let's hope things will be just fine. Give it a bit of time.

Answer 4

It is your home.  Kick him out.  If he won't leave, call the police.  You also need to call up your mother and explain what he is doing.  If she is close to you, she'll realize this guy is a jerk.

Answer 5

If you want him to go you must tell him to go.  

Suggest you have somebody with you (such as your mother) when you tell him in case he turns nasty.

If he persists contact the police.

Answer 6

You need to tell him that he needs to go! plain and simple because he way too disrespectful! let him know that you appreciate him coming to be with you, but you don't think its a good idea and he needs to leave!

Answer 7

Your #1 devotion to be to your boyfriend, not some out of town loner friend.  He'd have to be packing and already gone.  He broke rule #1 when he thought he could push up on you, even though he knew you had a boyfriend by trying to sleep in your bed.  Put yourself in your boyfriends shoes and imagine how he would feel if he knew this silliness was going one while he was gone.  Tell your friend he is disrespectful and that he has overstayed his welcome and that it just isn't working out.  He should never have "blew" up on you and that it is just too much for you too handle.  Take no excuses, and show him the door.  Boyfriends are always more important than old friends.  Give him the boot!!!  You've already been too polite...and I consider myself the "queen" of etiquette.

Peace & Love  :)

Answer 8

I think you need to tell him to shove off.  Unless he's g*y he came to town to sleep with you not keep you company.  He's a freeloader and you shouldn't have to deal with it.  He shouldn't have needed to be told to not sleep in your bed either....what a jerk.

What makes him think your mother will want to see him if he's treating you this way?

Answer 9

Your friends sounds like a drama queen in search of attention.  

Is it possible that he has a crush on you?  Does he feel rejected because you moved away from him?  

You need to talk to him and try to figure out what the real problem is.

Answer 10

This guy sounds very, very immature.  I think he's sponging off of you and has very poor manners.

You need to have a heart to heart with him.  I would think carefully about what you want to say first.  Be very blunt about what is expected of him.  If you want to keep his friendship, be sure and tell him that, as you explain the house rules.  

Tell him he'll have to leave, if he can't be respectful of you and your place.

It's going to be hard for you, but you will pat yourself on the back in a few days.  And it will be easier the next time you have a disrespectful guest.