I am having a secret wedding in December?

Question

I plan on breaking the news to my family a day later by sending "just married" notices saying "mr craig brown" and "miss catherine garner" were joined in marriage at a secret ceremony that took place on Saturday 20th December at 3.45pm. Please join them for a celebration dinner at The Oaks, norwich on saturday 2nd january at 7pm"

I will also give each person a framed photo of us on our wedding day for christmas and we will pay for everybody's meal.

Can you think of any other nice, creative ideas to make the whole event more special?

Answer 1

I'm afraid there aren't a lot of ways to sweeten this bitter and offensive pill. Unless your family doesn't give a rat's a$s about what you do (in which case they wouldn't care to hear the news anyway), they will feel excluded. Generally, in a normal functional family situation the expectation is that you share big news BEFORE, not after the fact.

Answer 2

As a mother, I would be very sad to not have been able to witnness such a milestone in the life of one of my children. If you're h**l bent on this "surprise" then maybe videotape your ceremony to play at the reception you're planing.

Answer 3

You're sure your family will be OK with this?  Is there a particular reason why you're having a "secret ceremony?"  Anyway, if both families seem like they'd be OK with being excluded from the ceremony, it's a fine idea, but expect the $#!+ to hit the fan if either side of the family is more traditional.  Also, if one or both sides of the family seems like they'd be less than receptive to the "secret ceremony" idea, it may be a bit insensitive of you to rub it in their faces with a framed photo of you at the wedding they were not invited to.  Best of luck!

Answer 4

I read about a couple who had the ceremony taped and then played it back for the family. You could do that. That way they can feel like they were a part of it. You could also wear the outfit you got married in to dinner.

Answer 5

Oh no. I almost did that but sharing that event with your family is part of what makes it special.

If you do this expect some hurt feelings...... my family would have been hurt - especially my mom.  

Answer 6

Wow, you are setting yourself up for major problem! First of all, why the need for a 'secret' ceremony - this is going to hurt your family tremendously. You do realize that Mothers dream of their childrens wedding as much as the kids do? Are you prepared to deal with that on Christmas? I would advise to at least let your parents know of the ceremony, some surprises are not good surprises.

My advice to make the event 'special' is to let people know ahead of time.  

Answer 7

It sounds like a good idea to me, but it's not very secret if you're posting about it on here. Also, I wouldn't use the word "secret" in the notice. It just looks a little lame.

Answer 8

Personally, I'd be really upset if someone in my family informed me that they'd been married by sending me a postcard. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame you for skipping the whole wedding ordeal, I'm just saying that it might really hurt their feelings.

Instead of sending out "just married" notices, why not send out regular party invitations, then announce it when every ones there in person?

Whatever you decide, good luck!

Answer 9

so wait? your family wont be there? well i think you got this well planned out. i dont think there is anything else that would be more suitable given the situation.