I am having problems with my son!!?

Question

I have a seven year old son who is now starting his Primary one classes. Ever since he been to school, I had been receiving calls from his teacher of him being mis behaving in school. At one incident he was caught with several other friend to be rough playing another boy- bordering to bullying. He was put to detention and we have to pick him up at the principal room. The latest happening would be that he was caught throwing stones at another boy in school. And he got detention for that too.

We, the parents, had tried talking to him and consulting him. We did also some of the recommended remedy -like time out, help him reassessing his action and even help him to reason his action. It seems to work at times , but mostly it did not register thru his head. Is whipping the only option left now? We were very firm with him, at least we thought. We want him to be treated as an adult,so he will react as one.

Any suggestion?

Answer 1

Back the school 100%.  Let him know that what happends at school, relfects the same at home.  If he is given detention at school, he is grounded at home or has a privlege taken awa (TV,video games, sport pratice or game, etc).  You could also ask the school about a community service project.  It could be something small, like clearing the rocks from the wood chips on the playground or wiping down windows.

But as a teacher I like for the punishment to fit the crime.  If he is basicly being mean to other kids, he should be writing appology letters and then hand delivering them to the other kids...at least.

But be careful here.  If he his bullying he may be trying to "prove" himself in some way for some other reason.  How is he doing acedemiclly?

Answer 2

I would not "Whip" the child but a spanking may be due. Remember do not do anything to cause scars or anything extreme but be firm. You can spank someone without resorting to "whips". "Spare the Rod Spoil The Child" quoted from the Bible. P.S. I know you weren't serious about "whipping'.

Answer 3

talk to him about the events surrounding what happened and ask him why he did it.  Let him know what he did was wrong, but also give advice on how you'd like him to handle it.  If all he knows is to handle frustration with violence, how is he suppose to act differently?

Answer 4

I don't have all this answers for you but one thing you wrote hit a nerve.

You want him treated as an adult so he will react as one.

Did you read that after you wrote it? If he is to be treated as an adult take him to the jail and show him where men that assault others, with rocks, end up.

For heaven sakes no little boy or girl at 7 can react in an adult manner. They are children.

I am sorry you're having trouble with your son and truly hope you get some good answers here. Just remember he is 7, not 17.

Answer 5

http://www.helium.com/items/864032-belie...

The above link is to an article on bullying and aggressive behavior.  I don't know if anything in it will be at all useful to you.

I think if my seven-year-old were showing signs of aggressive behavior I'd make an appointment with a counselor, and try to get to the root of the problem.

I think I'd explain to my child, "We're going to talk to someone to see if we can figure out what is making you angry enough to hurt other kids, because when kids keep doing the things you do that means that means they're unhappy about something.  We love you, and we want to figure out why you're hurting other kids and fix it. "

He is only seven years old.  He's not an adult, and he's not going to react as an adult.  He's a very little boy, and he isn't anywhere near the age when testosterone makes some boys more aggressive.

There's even the chance that he's a little boy who is easily influenced by other kids, and just has trouble doing what's right if the other kids are doing something wrong.  If that's his situation he's going to be a kid you'll have to keep busy, watch his friends, and generally supervise a little more.

Some boys will behave while in school but then play rough later.  That's a different thing again.  Not behaving in school would seem to be worth checking with a specialist about.

Answer 6

You have to lay down the law give him punishments at home. Thats how my parents straightened me out they punished me until i acted good hot sauce in the mouth will teach him. trust me or try to instill fear in him that he'll be hit.

You cant be your childs friend. You have to be a parent.

if you do not punish the child they will walk all over you and become "punks"

Answer 7

sure teach him not to hurt others by whipping him!! Are you kidding? He will be taken away from you and if this is how you treat him maybe it would be best. You do NOT whip children

Answer 8

first he is 7 you can't treat or expect him to act like a adult and be consistent if you say " if you do that again you have to go to bed and he does It again put him in bed also if he is not aloud to jump on couch today he can't get away with it tomorrow.

Answer 9

has he done this type of behaviour at home? does he have an easy time making friends or mixes with kids that he cn follow?

I have heard quite a lot lately about fish oil (makes em slippery LOL just kidding) no apparently it really helps with behaviour, give one double dose a day for a couple of days then to normal and once a week double dose then just normal and you may see a difference within a month, I know seems a long time but they tested it on a class here and the change was remarkable apparently. the double dose thing is up to you. worth a go anyway.

and ask him how he feels when hes doing these things to people, like does his tummy feel knotted, or does he just want to see what would happen, is he angry when he does or do people tell him it would be funny. kids don't always understand how they feel (thats when you get the i don't knows) because how can you explain frustrated or edgy or pent up energy that type of thing when you have no idea  so you need to explain how those type of things mayfeel so he can put a name to something he may be feeling

Answer 10

God Bless You!  You can not and should not try to treat a 7 year old as an adult!  He is a child, and God gave him parents for a reason. First, I would try to figure out what is making him so angry, because anger is certainly at the root of his behavior. Don't pressure him to talk to you about it, but wait until you are all having a nice relaxing time together (baking cookies, eating dinner, etc) and then broach the subject. Maybe there is something wrong at school that is bothering him that he doesn't know how to express.  If trying this doesn't work, and the behavior continues, I would certainly consider taking him to a certified child therapist/counselor to find out what's going on with him. This kind of behavior doesn't just appear for no reason!  Good luck!

Answer 11

maybe he needs some positive time with his parents.  if the only attention he gets is either negative, or how he is messing up, its just gonna make him lash out even more.  i know the last thing you would want to do is praise him, maybe you should point out how good he is when he does little things, like doing his homework, or even as little as gets dressed in the morning.