I am having some mom troubles?? (isn't everybody?)?

Question

My mom (trust me, I love her to death) is getting on my nerves a lot more than she normally has.

She has been dating her boyfriend for the past three years (here is the disgusting part: she's 44, he's 62) and she is convinced that "she loves him". He's a total creep, too. He is always bagging on her for losing weight (she's a little overweight, but not totally obese) and never takes her seriously.

He's mean to me, too. When we went on our vacation this year (of course he went) the whole time he was yelling at me, never at his daughters (13, 16, 19) and never at my brother (19).

Here's the thing: he is a total nut-job. The only things he talks about is health, and not the "normal" health. It's like the herb-organic-weird-thing-doctors-are-evi... health. He's a little crazy.

And if you try to talk to him, he totally dominates the conversation. You can't get a word in.

Enough of that (you're probably bored already). My mom is meaner than ever, she leaves the house every night, she doesn't watch me perform in band things, didn't go to graduation or play performance since "she was with him". I can't stand having no mom anymore, and she won't let me move into my dad's. My grandma may evict her out of the house in a month and let my sister (18) and my brother stay here for free. Two questions: Is that the time I should move in with dad? And what should I do about my mom? She never seems to want to be around me anymore...

Please help!!

Answer 1

I, as a mom do not understand this. she needs to get help. this relationship is not a healthy one.  

my step mom used to be a mad hen too.  

you need to talk to your dad. tell him your concerns about this.

it frightens me that if they ever get married he will get physically violent with you.

this IS NOT, IS NOT anything that you can change. only your mom can do this.....If you are afraid your mom will find out..talk to your dad and ask for his help in telling her.

i wish i could help you. i know (it's been over 40 yrs and i still remember the pain my step mom caused me emotionally)

If you have a relationship with your dad...please call him NOW.  

good luck sweetie.

mm

Answer 2

Mom has some I NEED LOVE issues.She is searching for love and she is convinced this man is the one for her and she feels like your trying to run him away.I feel so bad for you are young a need your moms guidance I am afraid you will have some repressed anger issues and that's not good for you.You need to talk with your father and tell him you feel that your well being is at stake and you need to come and live with him,you rally need him right now it is vital that you have one responsible parent in your life right now.This man is pulling a Dr.Jekyll / Mr.Hyde thing and it's not fair to you.Maybe living with Grams is a possibility have you told her what's going on?Talk with her and ask her what to do okay Doll. I wish you all the best,Things will get better for you I am praying for that.  Keep your head up.  :)  

Answer 3

Your Mom, is most likely going through a mid life crises. She's dating a man, who is way older than her, and dominating her too.

So that seems to me, that she has low self esteem. I don't think she can be happy with that kind of situation.

What she needs is something to snap her out of it, and realize what is happening.

If you can move it with your Dad, I suggest you do so. One, you will be better off, in a more relaxed atmosphere, and it may wake up your Mom as to how you are feeling.

It seems your Mom, just isn't hearing or seeing what is happening to her family. Maybe with you moving out, she's come to the truth and hopefully, seek help.

Write her a letter, much like what you wrote here, to tell her how you feel. Maybe then she will get the message, I sure hope so, her future, isn't looking too bright, especially if your Grandma, throws her out of the house. Maybe those two things, will do her good, and return her back to her own self.

Answer 4

2 things u can do

talk to your mom and tell her how you fell and how she makes you feel(chose the right time to talk to her)

if she is still not being nice then move with your dad