I am in a miserable marriage but I don't think I can afford to be divorced.?

Question

I am 46 years old and have a 4 year old son. I was attacked while working as a paramedic and have a spinal injury. I am on disability. I am in an impossible marriage. I have talked to counselors, clergy and friends. How can I afford to get my own place, pay rent and utilities, food, insurance, gas, medical expenses, ...

I am able to walk and I am the opposite of lazy. My friends say I am resourceful, but I cannot just move out with a 4 year old. Suggestions???

Answer 1

If you have talked with counselors, clergy and friends ask them what kind of resources are available in your area that can assist you.  If this is something you really want you can find a way to do it.  I'm sure there are many avenues you can use although I'm also sure it will be difficult at first and a hard adjustment for you.......any lost of income and lifestyle change is hard for someone to deal with at first, but where there is a will there is a way.

Answer 2

you must have someone who would take you in ? Im not even gonna ask u to talk to your other half its obviously beyond that point right now. Can you take care of kids at home ? maybe try that and save some money , look thru ur house is there anything that you own that you can sell? try to sell your car buy a smaller one? right now take out a piece of paper and write down all of your outgoings and incomings sit there until you can take some money somewhere and start saving. Have you checked your additional entitlements thru disability are u entitled to specialzed housing?  u need to clear ur mind and start thinking of ways to make money . Could u teach trainee paramedics is there a course you could take for this ? can u sue the company u worked for ?

Answer 3

There are women's shelters; find one and talk to someone there.

Answer 4

Is family an option or a friend maybe?

Answer 5

you contact your social services office and find out what services you would qualify for if you were to leave your marriage.

Answer 6

I would suggest a friend or roommate. That way you can half all the bills! Either way you need to get out. Life is too short to be miserable. Good Luck!!

Answer 7

get counseling ! work on what you have, I know you have tried, try more. talk to her.

outside of that public housing.

Answer 8

get a job to earn money. you might be able to find something where you can work from home. try taking classes at your local community college to better your resume if you have to. these classes will allow you to meet new people, which will aid in your fresh start.

also, ask a friend or relative to babysit your 4 year old. they might do it without requiring pay. you could get different babysitters on different days so you won't be burdening any single person. moving from babysitter to babysitter may not be the best option for your child unless they are able to understand the situation... explain to them.

also, if you get a divorce then your husband will be paying child support.

you could save money on buying a place for a while by staying with family.

Answer 9

I'm a 55 y.o. guy on a disability from Fire/EMS.  Start by telling yourself you CAN get out and move on..cause that's the truth.  Not easy but you can, and you do have some? income, right.  I've kind of been in your shoes.  Feel free to IM me as mysihba or email if I can help, or at least listen.  It gets lonely out there.  The "helpers" seem to really get lost and forgotten.