I had a sinus surgery in 2003 and removal of non cancerous tumour ( polyp ) from within the sinus ( doctors told the surgery took longer to finish due to presence of a polyp inside the left sinus ).this first part of story ends here.
after few years i had palpitations and anxiety when doing a fast breathing yogic exercise.i wnt to hospital for this thinking itsnt heart problem or something then i sat down in casuality for around 30 minutes....they didnt do any examination like ecg or any thing.may be because i was too young to have a heart problem.i went back home.
again after some bad events in my career once again i had the same palpitation...this time the general medicine person in the hospital send me to the counciling/psychiyartry department.i became too anxious !!!
in clinical psychology department they told there are 2 options...either i can go for counciling or medication or both ( for better effect ).i agreed for doing both.and in psychiyartry dept i met a doctor who was behaving little strangely ( as if action in some drama ).i was put on prozac 20 mg and clonazepam 10 mg.plus counciling
after taking the medication during my exam,i was always dull and sleepy. somehow i finished off exams.
before leaving for my native place the doctor asked to continue clonazepam for 8 more days and stop it when i reach native place.the night after stoping clonazepam completely i had panic attack in the mid night.and i felt like i was collapsing.my parents took me to hospital.and they took my ecg and immediately gave an injection ( which they said is to calm me down ).slowly my behavior started changing....and from a silent person i started becoming assertive and self centred, and arrogant person ( there was some personal reasons for becoming arrogant at my home).i was unable to understand what was happening to me.my parents decided to shift house with me and whole family.now after around 2 years the 20 mg prozac was tapered to 10 mg and stopped.now i have internet addiction.lack of intrest in doing everything.and erectile disfunction.and i lack self motivation completely.....just have food waste time on internet...and all my relatives including kids are critisizing me for no reason.i am getting isolated.and feeling like i am loosing control over my life.
i am verymuch intrested in music and singing but i dont feel like practicing vocals , i have completed masters in computer application but i dont have the motivation for going for interviews daily.my parents dosnt agree with any of my assessment of the situation.and they act as if something funny is going on.i am cluless and frustrated about how people under estimate me.and make fun.i fear all are now seeing me as an abnormal guy, who is intentionally not putting effort to improve my self.but no one is trying to understand what the medications and some personal problems has done with me and my life.i lack self motivation completely !!!!
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