I am in charge of hosting a bridal shower with odd circumstances. The couple married earlier than planned.

Question

My nephew and fiance (now wife) are planning a wedding in September. Due to non-pregnancy family issues they had to get married on 7/19/08. At the wedding, there were about 6 guests (father of the bride, parents of the groom, 2 uncles of the groom and myself). They still plan on having the wedding in September to share with everyone. They still want to have the shower that I was planning on hosting at the church on 8/17. It has been announced, but I was going to hand out invitations this week (it is a small family church and that is how it is usually done). Any thoughts on wording and or activities for the event. The wedding and reception will also be at the church. Formal invitations for that will be mailed out in the next few weeks.

Answer 1

The "wedding" is only pretend. It shows bad taste, they should have done it right the first time.  

Answer 2

I am assuming that they are not keeping this previous wedding a secret, so I think you should refer to it as a wedding shower and remind everyone that the couple has already married.  Their "wedding" in September will technically be an affirmation of their previous vows in front of the rest of the family.

It's a bit different, but a small family church will already be aware of the circumstances and still want to celebrate.

Best wishes!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 3

I don't think you need to word it any differently then a regular shower.  Like you said, they had to do so earlier but will still have a real wedding later.  

Answer 4

I have mixed emotions on the subject.  To me if they're already married, and doing the public ceremony and a reception, I don't see the need for a shower as well... that would seem to me like two receptions.  For whatever reason they got married 2 months early so that changes things on several levels.  BUT you know your community and how they'll respond to it.  I think instead of a bridal shower it should be a wedding shower, or just a shower.   If you're going about it as a bridal shower, I'd not change games, etc...

I know historically the shower & reception had different purposes... The shower was something like personal gifts wedding night, or trousseau or whatever and the reception was gifts for them together for their home.  I don't have accurate info, I know!!!  IMHO, I don't actually see the need for a shower now that they're already hitched, but that's just me.  

Answer 5

Showers are for brides, not married women.

This is in very poor taste.

Good luck

Answer 6

If everyone being invited knows they are already married then it should be fine to invite them and go about it as planned. Even though they are married they are technically still planning a wedding, right? It is an odd situation, but that's how life goes sometimes.

It does seem strange that they are still going through with the big wedding and all the pre-wedding parties even though they are already married. It sounds gift-grabby to me. But like I said, if everyone knows they are already married then it is their choice to come and bring a gift or not. I would feel odd showering a "bride-to-be" who I know is actually a newlywed.

Anyway, enjoy the planning and best of luck to the couple!  

Answer 7

I know this will be an unpopular answer, but I agree with Blunt - this is in poor taste.

I can see having the church wedding if there was a big extenuating circumstance that made the couple get married earlier such as military duty or sickness but not a shower. (Depsite popular belief, they did have a "real" wedding so they are already married and should not have a shower.)  

Answer 8

I would go along with what Wedding Planer suggested and word like you would if they were not married yet.  I know of several couples that got married first then had a shower within a month and their invitations still had the traditional wording.