I am in love with my brother in law, please help me.?

Question

I am in a very horrible situation. I have been married for 2 years to my absolutely wonderful, adoring, respectful husband whom I love with all my heart. I have been spending a lot of time with my brother in and we recently admitted to each other that we are in love with on another. I love this man with a burning passion that I feel I cannot control and I know he feels the same way. I would never cheat on my husband and I have never slept with my brother in law but I am passionately in love with him. I don't know what to do because I feel if I stay with my husband I will be living a lie, but I love him so much. My love for my husband is much more of a friendship type of love for me now. I can't continue like this because I do not want to cheat on my husband, I feel if I continue this way I will only end up sleeping with my brother in law.

Answer 1

Grow up. Get a divorce. Your husband deserves better.

Answer 2

Go, have your fling with the brother in law.  It's all good, it's being kept within the family.  No one will care, it's a family thing ya know.

Answer 3

I think you should go away by yourself, find out who do you miss the most and then, make a decision.

Answer 4

why on earth did you let this situation happen? Stuff like this doesn't just happen. It started with a daydream, or a thought, or a look, or something. That is where it should have ended. You let yourself fantasize about him. You let yourself think about how you could be together. You even talked to the BIL about it! Don't tell me you wouldn't cheat on your husband. If you let it get this far....I think you would. Take some responsibility for this. Tell you BIL to keep his distance for a while. You and your BIL owe it to your husband.....poor guy.

Answer 5

Is this your husband's brother or a sister's husband?  Either way, this situation is going to hurt someone.  I think you need to distance yourself from the brother-in-law.  You should not hang out with him any more.  The situation is to tempting for you.  If you no longer love your husband, you need to talk to him.  You need to tell him that you might have feelings for another person and you need some space right now.  You may have to move out.  I also think that you should visit a marriage therapist (just you) and talk with a professional about this situation.  If your husband is such a great man, you do not want to hurt him.  Does he have any idea? It is not fair to your husband if you are married to him but do not love him.  

In a marriage things change.  Over time the passionate lust that occurred in the beginning of the relationship fades. While you are married, you and your husband will undoubtedly lust over other people. (You guys aren't dead..you are just married).--but because you are married, you should be mature enough to recognize those feelings and put them aside in order to be true to your spouse. The marriage becomes a place of true companionship and unconditional love.  It is a stable place in which you and your partner should be able to trust one another 100%.  Remember, after the passion/lust is gone with this brother in law, would there really be anything left? Good Luck

Answer 6

Wow what a mess your in!

I wouldn't know what to tell you other than you have those vows to think about. If your brother-in-law is not married, it would be best for him to go away as in move out of State.  If your husband finds this out and if you two cheat, then your going to hurt several people. Somehow I don't think your as much love with your brother-in-law as you think you are. I think you have both fantasized about it and have talked yourself into believing it. Decide which you want the most, an affair that will hurt your husband and family and to decide that you want your brother-in-law at all cost or you want to do the right thing and the both of you never have that affair.. It will cost you dearly so think think think!

Answer 7

STOP hes ur brother in law imagine how his wife would feel put urself in her siuation u would be furious if ur husband was doing that

cut off this relationship u have with ur brother in law nd give ur husband the love he deserves hes been loyal to u

i hope u make the right desicion

good luck =]

Answer 8

Stop spending time with other men, that includes your brother in law. Just because you haven't physically cheated, doesn't mean you haven't cheated. You already betrayed your husband. File for divorce so he can find a better woman that wont cheat on him like you have done! !

Answer 9

if your husband was in love with his sister in law, with the same burning passion for her that you say you feel for your brother in law, what would you want him to do?  tell you?  cheat on you?  be with you even tho he passionately loved another and only loved you as a friend?  once it came out and you found out, how would you have told him he should have handled it?  thats your answer  

Answer 10

Oh, well. These things happen. What are going to do? Well, first, think about what will happen if you just go for it. Are you AND your brother in law prepared to essentially leave his family. I mean, they're going to hate your guts. Maybe his, too, but they'll mostly blame you. Is he going for that, or is it really more like being in love with a movie star you can never really have. You may just have to do without either of them. Probably the best thing for them. If you do want to go for it, you have to just take the risk of telling you husband and moving out. You'll get divorced, at any rate. Wonder if BIL will still be interested or even admit it. I might just be that the "passion" for both of you is really just the prospect of how wrong it seems.  

Answer 11

I would stop seeing your brother in law. If your husband asks why, TELL HIM THE TRUTH. That burning passion is something called lust..not love. Your husband is supposed to be your best friend and your lover..Don't let another man change that. Is throwing away a marriage worth it for a bit of a thrill? I don't think so.. Go on a holiday with your husband, Find something to bring that flame back into your relationship and if that doesn't work. Then get some marriage councelling. Don't go and destroy a relationship because you are bored.  

Answer 12

You have to remind yourself of one thing: when you marry, you don't shut off parts of your body and mind. You will always have the ability to react strongly to other people. The difference is, you know you can say no to acting on those feelings. You know for a fact you can.

  Think of a situation where you had the chance of a lifetime to be promoted based on your talents in a company you love and in which you have many friends and enjoy a lot of respect. Your boss, whom you admire and who is your mentor, introduces you to his 17 year old son. You start to swoon because the kid is so hot. He's fantastic and you can't stop thinking about those eyes, that body, his sweet smile - and the fact that he has a father who's your boss and by the way, he has a girlfriend whom he loves dearly.

  Do you really think you'd be idiotic enough to try to jump the bones of a 17 year old boy and lose the job you love, disappoint your boss who has aligned his reputation with yours and believes in you?

  If the answer is yes, then maybe you do lack judgement enough to go s***w your brother in law. But be aware it's a stupid decision that only you can make and only you will be responsible for the heartache and the losses that result. It will be the worst thing you've ever done. And after you've made that dumb decision, trust me on this - you will make another dumb decision and another and another.

Answer 13

SO if you split with the husband you think the family is going to openly accept you into their arms with their other son? Not only will you be breaking off a marriage to an amazing man you will put a rift in a entire family. Maybe you love what you can't have. Stop spending time with him, start spending that time remembering why you feel in love and married your husband in the first place. Its only been two years no need to throw it away for something that is going to be too hard to continue. His family and yours are going to look down on you for messing with the brother of your husband. I know this isn't fair but its true the man will get off easier, you will be the bad guy in all this. Go to a counselor for your problems, try and save the marriage!

Answer 14

you need to realise its just lust, work on what you have, grow up and be mature.

Answer 15

and you got married why? It is definately a horrible situation but you and your brother in law are to blame, not your husband. Can you imagine how devistated he will be? Make wise choices before you ruin more than one relationship.

Answer 16

ur nuts. end of story.