I am in my late 20s and according to some people i dont act mature and feminine. ?

Question

Hmm, interesting. I am in my late 20s. And a very confident women per se but i am not a tom-boy. Plus, for someone reason i dont like makeup either the only thing i use is lipstick. In addition to that, i cant act dumb blonde too, i have been thru rough patches in my life and i have become strong (and i m proud of it). But i work really hard on my physique as in i excersice i want a good s**y physique. I am not into women i.e. not a L*****n. But i am unable to have a successful relationship as well, reason being deep down i am afraid of being deceived and cheated or abused thats why i dont have the guts to go out on a date or flirt with someone.

i m in a quagmire, i want a relationship really romantic one but i m like sandra bullock in ms.congeniality. (ye, that explains my situation) i dont want to be like every second women who does nothing but concentrates on looks. I want to enjoy and excersice my rationalization, confidence etc. And for some reason, i may sound childish at home but i m very confident at work and very different wwith frnds.

Help me, what should i do? should i change myself and be uncomfortable in my own skin but get a romantic life. or should i stay as is and let people think i m not feminine enough.

thanks in advance for answers

Answer 1

First of all, you are not a Loser, so change your ID.

Next, set some small goals that will help you become the person you would like to become.

Example:  Goal:  Soften my appearance.  Steps to achieving goal:  wear pastel colors (if they compliment your skin tone). Have your hair shaped to accent the shape of your face. etc.

Now, the most important thing you can do is visualize the person you want to become. Keep this visual image in front of you at all times.

This is not just a physical image, but a character image. Visualize yourself being comfortable in a gathering. Visualize yourself building a strong, successful relationship.

This works......use it.

Answer 2

Check out Yahoo Personals.

Answer 3

DO NOT CHANGE YOURSELF TO MEET OTHERS' EXPECTATIONS!!! If you don't like makeup, that's okay. If you're not a "Girly girl", that's okay, too. As to your misgivings about relationships, perhaps you can seek counciling with a trusted clergyperson or your doctor. Trying going out with a group of friends. They don't all have to be the same s*x either. If you meet someone you might like to date, ask him out for coffee or a brown bag lunch. Do something a little unusual such as kite flying.  Join volunteer groups and/or go to a church where you feel welcome.Whatever you do, stick to your guns about who you are, what you will or won't do, and never "dumb down" to fit someone else's ego.  Remember, no one knows you better than you. Good luck and God bless!

Answer 4

Be true to yourself. Who are these people who tell you that you are immature and unladylike? Whose standards are they going by? Theirs? God's? Elvis? Their dog?

Well, p**p to them.

You were born a unique individual with your own path to take and it's not up to anyone else where your path is supposed to go.

If a guy doesn't like you for who you are, then he's not worth your time. Let him find someone else who fits his standards of "mature" and "feminine."

Be yourself and let the guy who is looking for someone like you make it easier to find you. He can't find you if you're hiding behind a fake persona.  

Answer 5

Are you hot?

Answer 6

Anyone who only wants to be in your life because you're acting like someone else, is not someone you want in your life.  It sounds like you need to focus on just being you whatever situation you're in, instead of one way with friends, one way at work, etc.  This way, you'll always be comfortable and confident, and this is what people find to be s**y.  There's no such thing as being not feminine enough, there's someone out there for everybody.  I think you're problem stems more from your lack of self confidence and possibly low self esteem.  You don't get those by trying to be someone else, you get them by being yourself and knowing that being you is wonderful!  

While you're working on keeping your body in shape, try working on getting your mind in shape; work on learning why you're so afraid of trusting others and how you can change that.  It may be a good idea to see a counselor about that.  Above all, remove people who tell you that who you are and how you are isn't good enough from your life; these people aren't your friends.  Real friends love us for who we are, and if changes need to be made, they tell us in loving ways and help us to make them instead of just making us feel bad about ourselves.