I am in such a mess! Becoming very depressed. Can you offer any advice?

Question

I feel like I wish I could start my life again. Firstly my parents choose my career for me and I do not like it. I am just doing it to please them. I spent those 4 years in University almost suicidal and I told nobody how I felt. I feel trapped. I like in a small town where nothing ever happens. Even my once great relationship with my boyfriend is going down the drain because of my lack of enthusiasm for life anymore. I can't quit or leave this dull towm because my parents expect me to stay around and check on me daily. I really am becoming depressed. I am 22 years old. My parents try to make me miss perfect and critisise all my friends coz they have a personality. they are stuck in the 1940's I think. hey also hate my boyfriend and don't really acknowledge his existence. What can I do?

Answer 1

Have you considered standing up to your parents? Obviously you are old enough to run your own life, and they need to realise this, they can't re-live their life through you.

Go for a change of career, work on your relationship with your BF, and tell your parents to butt out!

As soon as you take control of your life you'll feel happier! I know from personal experience...  :)

Answer 2

I don't really have any solutions for your troubling situation, but I can provide some insight.  You should know that you do have free will and you do have choices.  Never limit your options on what you could do or be. I think that you need some self discovery time, you need to find out who you really are and what you want out of life.  You should never think that your only purpose in life is to full fill the expectations of others. You could only be you and once you find you, you must love yourself and pursue what pleases you. Furthermore this will allow you to seek life with purpose, passion, and love for yourself and the world.  I know its not that simple, but take it one day at a time with patience, courage, and grace. Good luck!

Answer 3

Hi,

First you should understand the parts of life.. Career is part of your life. it is selected by you or your parent it is immaterial you should learn properly and go on the same way. it is good for you .  likewise your boy friend is one part of life you should not loose your confident.  concentrate on your future plan walk on your own.. you will be cool

Answer 4

"I feel like I wish I could start my life again." If you have the courage, do just that! Now, before you have second thoughts, if you have the financial resources; otherwise make SECRET PLANS!!! Tell any of them, and they will try to stop you, thinking it is for your own good.

Your depression is exogenous (situational), and it is that situation which needs changing. Apply for jobs online in cities where you would like to live; don't be too picky at first, but keep looking for better.

It would be better if you already had people you knew there. Arrange accomodation well in advance: ask here at Y!A (I'm in Australia, so can't help with this). You could try temping.

You can't live your life happily, fulfilling the expectations of others. If you don't get out and see something of the big, wide world outside of your cloistered existance, you will come to regret it. Maybe study something which interests you, part time, and requalify.

Tell the police you are safe, and contact them all, when safely on your way (they won't understand, and will worry, but will have no choice but to accept it). Be friendly, but also be careful of where you place your trust.

Answer 5

Talk to your parents that u r not a small kid anymore and that u can take care of your life by yourself. tell the truth on how u have been feeling for years. hang out with your frenz. But say those things up there to your parents in a nicer way

Answer 6

See this site and determine that your happiness is more important than anything else. That is why you exist. That is why you are alive. See the stuff about the Drama of the Gifted Child and see how they hurt you.

http://morehappiness.notlong.com

Answer 7

I think a lot of people are in this situation too, where their life is planned out for them.

it can be very hard to deal with and I'm sure feeling trapped like this is not how you want to live.

Although it might be hard, you should try talking to your parents, or even a counciller about these issues, mainly to get them off your chest, but also to help you gain independence and start being happy again!

You need to find a way to show them that you are grown up and want to make your own decisions in life, and that they should be happy with you and support you in whatever you want to do.

If they can't see how unhappy you are, then you need to make it obvious.

All the best, hope it turns out ok :)

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