I am in the process of adopting a 4 year old and I would like all the information on the family as possible?

Question

I was wondering if there is any books/journals out there that I can give to the grandma to fill out without being too intrusive. Maybe a cute little question book that way when the child starts asking questions I can let them read the book. Or read it to them.

Answer 1

Thank you for asking this question! I am in the same situation (my girls are 3 and twins 2) I have asked grandma for photos...but didn't even think about the books.

The grandma/grandpa books are a really nice idea. If she will fill it out and give it back. If you think grandma won't fill it out, then pull some questions from it  and ask permission to do an interview. That way you will the questions answered for sure!

Questions I asked my grandma as an adoptee was medical history of my closest relatives and for pictures. Those are still treasured.

Answer 2

Hi Ranchgirl,

First, thank you for adopting an older child instead of a newborn.  Also, thank you for thinking of your future child's needs and preparing for the inevitable questions about who they are and where they came from.  You are well on your way to becoming a good adoptive parent if you acknowledge that his/her information is important, needed and wanted.

Here are some ideas for you that should be meaningful for your child.  Would it be possible to develop a closer relationship with the Grandma if you do not already?  That way maybe you could exchange letters as questions arise over the years, or communicate by email, phone, or better yet, actual visits?  Photos would be wonderful for an adopted child to have, particularly of their natural parents, although any family pictures would be great.  If you let Grandma know that you are interested, she may even leave some of the family records and photos to your child when she passes on.  You could put those items together in a scrapbook. Or if Grandma is the artistic type, perhaps she could even assist with the items that she may have.  The object being for the child to have questions already addressed before they become issues.  It also gives the child a sense of connection to their genetic past & to humanity in general.

It takes a secure adoptive parent to put the needs of the child first without feeling threatened of there not being enough love left over for themselves.  You could think of Grandma as an extended family member.  The more love there is to go around, the better, right?

My other suggestion is if you live in a state with sealed birth certificate laws, try to get a copy of his/her original one before the adoption is finalized and the records are sealed.  If you can get that, I would put it on the first page of their book.  Trust me, your child will appreciate that later on!  Thanks again.

I hope this helps.  Good luck,

julie j

reunited adoptee

Answer 3

The best way for your daughter to get information about her family is directly from them.

Try to keep your adoption as open as possible.

Answer 4

that is an excellent idea, your thinking of the child's future, you know in the future, she is going to ask questions and you want as many answers as possible for her.

I imagined the grandmother would only be to pleased to do this for you and her grandchild.

Answer 5

Yes, there are many such books that mostly adoption agencies write themselves.  Many are called "Lifebooks".  You could also make your own.  This is a  wonderful way to preserve the history that this little tyke already has!  Good luck!

Answer 6

Are you in Texas?  On the W.T.?  If this is who I think it is, you can email me you know that?

Answer 7

http://www.amazon.com/Grandmother-Rememb...

This is a link to a book called GRANDMOTHER REMEMBERS.  I have it at my house that my grandmother filled out for me a few years back.  I wanted to have something for my kids to read about her when they get older.  

If you go to Amazon Books and type in Grandmother Remembers this book will pop up ALONG WITH some others to choose from.  It is listed for 6.99.  

By the way, I think that is a great idea that you have. : )